The Femmes That Love You...

[Quintease]

I used to get all fired up about trans issues and then wonder why he didn't care.

He'd be like 'I've been living it for the last 5 years, now I just want to be a man.' I would get really annoyed and we had plenty of debates.

Of course he couldn't help getting sucked in. As my friends met him, often the first trans person they'd ever met, they became more interested in trans issues. Plus I had a close friend who was early transition who just couldn't stay away and brought all his enthusiasm with him. Now the hubby is involved in all sorts of things he had originally written out of his life... I know, I'm evil. He often wonders what he did to deserve a rabidly political lesbian wife.

But it was really hard for me. Even harder knowing that the things I was worrying about (loss of visibility, having people think I'd 'gone straight') weren't as bad as the things he feared (being 'outed' at work, future surgeries, a shortage of testosterone, losing his family). At times I felt really lonely, like I couldn't talk about our problems, either because I worried what people would think or I worried as they didn't know he was trans.

It was tough, but I wouldn't change it for the world. It helps that he is absolutely gorgeous (and he really is gorgeous, I wish I could post a pic of him online as he is the best looking person I have dated). I often look at our wedding photos and remember how lucky I am!