The Femmes That Love You...

Gemme · 03-22-2012, 04:14 PM

I understand that need to protect that comes from within, Kitten. I've felt that as well.

Transguys, butches and all the lovely shades of that side of our rainbow (mainly, not femme or feminine) have had the stares and remarks, usually, for all or most of their lives. They develop a thicker skin because of it, in most cases. I think it explains the 2x4 phenomena as well. They've lived in their skin for all that time and we, as their partners, have only been their partners for a frog's hair worth of that time. We're more sensitive to it because it's newer to us and we don't have that coping mechanism of obliviousness that many of them do. You mentioned the getting all fired up and your Daddy just rolling his eyes. Been there, done that!

I think this is a very nice topic and could make for a lovely discussion.

DeviantDaddy · 03-22-2012, 06:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gemme

You mentioned the getting all fired up and your Daddy just rolling his eyes. Been there, done that!

There have been many things such as that which have upset her... chuckles. I have always wondered about the things that femmes (or anyone who is partnered to a butch/transman) have to endure.

There is something absolutely amazing about a femme's ability to sooth the troubles of the world away. But I wonder what that does to them from their side of things.

princessbelle · 03-22-2012, 06:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeviantDaddy

There have been many things such as that which have upset her... chuckles. I have always wondered about the things that femmes (or anyone who is partnered to a butch/transman) have to endure.

There is something absolutely amazing about a femme's ability to sooth the troubles of the world away. But I wonder what that does to them from their side of things.

I am almost sure this is for femmes partnered with butches as well as transmen/FtMs, so i wanted to comment if that's ok. If i am out of place, just tell me...no problem.

As far as your comment on "what that does to them (femmes) from their side of things" i wanted to say a couple of things on that.

Many of us do recognize that there are so many things that the more masculine folks have to go through than the more femme ones do. For me there is a tremendous amount of pride that i feel when walking with my butch. I truly am so proud of her for so many, many things. From her first understanding of her gayness and masculinity to the wonderful butch she is today. I really do feel honored to walk beside her knowing what she has been through, the things in life she has had to overcome, the hate she faces in the news, from all walks of life and the risk she takes every single day she walks out into this world.

So, if i see a glare, or a mean stare or god in heaven forbid anyone say anything to her, seeing red is an understatement. I want to be her advisory along with being her partner. I want to be her defender along with being her baby girl. I want to be her saving grace from this prejudicial world that sees only race or sex or classism or perceived sexual orientation.

It is the path "we" choose to walk with our partners and any hurt feelings or anger or shock that we face from the public, families and even friends is so minute compared to the loving relationships we have with "ya'll", it is SO worth it all.

03-22-2012, 04:14 PM	#1
Gemme Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?: She, as in 'She's a GEM' Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The roads are narrow here Posts: 36,631 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 182,498 Thanked 107,896 Times in 25,665 Posts Rep Power: 21474889	I understand that need to protect that comes from within, Kitten. I've felt that as well. Transguys, butches and all the lovely shades of that side of our rainbow (mainly, not femme or feminine) have had the stares and remarks, usually, for all or most of their lives. They develop a thicker skin because of it, in most cases. I think it explains the 2x4 phenomena as well. They've lived in their skin for all that time and we, as their partners, have only been their partners for a frog's hair worth of that time. We're more sensitive to it because it's newer to us and we don't have that coping mechanism of obliviousness that many of them do. You mentioned the getting all fired up and your Daddy just rolling his eyes. Been there, done that! I think this is a very nice topic and could make for a lovely discussion. __________________ Gemme's Journal I'm misunderestimated.