FTM's and Transitioning

[The Oopster]

Originally Posted by atomiczombie

I need some support.

As many of you know, I suffer from PTSD and anxiety/panic disorder. I am fully clear and confident in my transmasculine/transgender male identity, mind you. I know who I am and who I am not.

That said, I am at a place in my life where it is now time to contact my doctor to start testosterone therapy and transition physically. Now that the moment of truth has arrived, it seems my anxiety has ratcheted up. I don't have doubts about who I am or whether this is really what I want, I swear! I am totally clear about who I am and have been for several years. I want to physically transition. I need to physically transition. I want to feel whole.

So why am I so anxious about making that call? I have no freakin' idea, and I wonder if any other guys have felt this way and how they have dealt with it. Any thoughts?

Thanks in advance,

Drew

I toatlly get the anxiety.

I'm at the point that it looks like I'll finally get my top surgery. I've been really anxious about it lately.

For me it's cause its change. Not only the physical change but the emotional mental change in that here is something I've been wanting for so long that just the process of wanting it and not knowing if and when it's going to happen has become a part of me.

Now it's a reality and that's just different. It's a new phase and it leaves this void of where my energy has been put because I'll no longer be able to think when is this going to happen and about how much I don't like my body. I'm sure i'll find something to replace it but it's scary not knowing what that is.

Also is means moving into new horizons that I can't even imagine at this point and that's sort of scary.

Hope that helps some