Warning Signs of Abusive Relationships

JustLovelyJenn · 12-09-2013, 12:40 AM

When I opened this thread, I didn't expect it to hit me as hard as it did. I dealt with all of this a long time ago, and I am usually pretty good about taking a deep breath and moving forward...

... That being said...

... I was married to a very abusive person. He never hit me, never physically intimidated me in any way. In obvious ways he wasnt even really verbally abusive, we got in fights, but I was very good at yelling back. But he was extrememly emotionally abusive. I didn't see it at first, I didn't understand how much I was withdrawing, or how much I was affected. As I processed everything after the fact, I found things that I always thought I would see...

He was extremely determined to get things his way. He even asked me to marry him every day for a month before I agreed.
He was very quick to point out his needs and insist on having them filled.
Things I needed or wanted could be explained away, there wasnt enough time, or money, or whatever... it could wait for now.

These things were there very early on. Things I just said ok to. Compromised about, and they just continued to grow. Until I was isolated from friends, without general needs such as new underware or bras, or even clothes that fit. I didn't thnk they were important in the beginning. It was easy enough to just give in to those little demands.

Now, my ex is in a new relationship, with a new woman, who just had a baby... and I am seeing the same things begin to develop. I guess watching it happen again has made it all feel a little fresh in my mind.

12-09-2013, 12:40 AM	#18
JustLovelyJenn Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She/her Relationship Status: That's Need to Know Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Aberdeen, WA Posts: 4,478 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 12,464 Thanked 13,992 Times in 3,684 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	When I opened this thread, I didn't expect it to hit me as hard as it did. I dealt with all of this a long time ago, and I am usually pretty good about taking a deep breath and moving forward... ... That being said... ... I was married to a very abusive person. He never hit me, never physically intimidated me in any way. In obvious ways he wasnt even really verbally abusive, we got in fights, but I was very good at yelling back. But he was extrememly emotionally abusive. I didn't see it at first, I didn't understand how much I was withdrawing, or how much I was affected. As I processed everything after the fact, I found things that I always thought I would see... He was extremely determined to get things his way. He even asked me to marry him every day for a month before I agreed. He was very quick to point out his needs and insist on having them filled. Things I needed or wanted could be explained away, there wasnt enough time, or money, or whatever... it could wait for now. These things were there very early on. Things I just said ok to. Compromised about, and they just continued to grow. Until I was isolated from friends, without general needs such as new underware or bras, or even clothes that fit. I didn't thnk they were important in the beginning. It was easy enough to just give in to those little demands. Now, my ex is in a new relationship, with a new woman, who just had a baby... and I am seeing the same things begin to develop. I guess watching it happen again has made it all feel a little fresh in my mind. __________________ --Jenn