Rethinking our partner wishlists. Is it "settling" or adjusting to reality?

[BullDog]

I have plenty of qualities that I like in a partner, boundaries, and the obvious things I wouldn't tolerate- drug abuse, dishonesty, etc, but I never had a whole list of things that someone had to meet or must meet 7 out of 10 or something. Obviously there are things that are really important and deal breakers, but really it's the interplay with someone- the chemistry, communication and how our qualities and values work together that tells me whether someone is potentially a good partner or not for me. I also could have never figured out in advance many of the ways that my partner and I click in addition to the things that I really wanted and needed in a partner. So I do think it is good to be clear on what you want and need, but not too rigid or you could miss out on someone special- however to each their own.

One other thing, in the opening post it talked about people perhaps "settling" or just deciding to go for comfortable co-existence because they were having a hard time finding someone who would meet all of their criteria. Why not just cultivate good friendships instead of thinking you have to compromise when it comes to a partner? They would still have the companionship wouldn't they? That's the part I really don't get.