The Femme Continuum: The "Highs" and "Lows" of Visibility

[christie]

Originally Posted by Medusa

I'd like to explore how Femme Top energy isn't always in a masculine or "Daddy" form.

But yes, Femme often equals "fuckee" in a lot of people's minds. Even when it does, I don't think it should equal "less than".

Are you looking to explore how Femme Top energy isn’t in masculine or Daddy form within someone's kink or how its feminine energy is everyday life? I see the two as distinctly different, yet similar and often related.

Let's see if I can expand... within BDSM and the dynamics of mine and Jess' relationship, if I am in Top space, its under the direction of my Syr and is feminine in nature. I would be Ma'am.

I do have a masculine Daddy Top energy that is never present with my Syr.

In my relationships/interludes before Jess, this wasn't always the case. I can say that within Top headspace, I am more comfortable in the masculine.

In my day-to-day world, my Femme Top energy is present. Most times, it just takes the form of being a more-than-capable business person and doing my job of running the company I work for... sometimes it is present in more of a "Mean Mommy" way in that in my position of authority, I often have to temper constructive criticism with the natural nurturer/caretaker I am.

In our bedroom, my Femme Top energy is never present. Again, pre-Jess, I was quite comfortable being either fucker or fuckee.

I have never felt "less than" in celebrating and owning the strength I find in being a Femme or in being female; although, I have had many experiences of people (of any ID/orientation) try to impose such upon me. I'm rather quick to remind them of just whom they are dealing with - and on my worst of days, it’s a force to be reckoned with. On my best days, one might wanna pack a lunch.

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

As for passing as straight....

I have always, just once, wanted to get the nod from another queer person. You know, like Butches and women who "look" more stereotypically gay do.

Maybe at the reunion, we can give each other the nod?

I say we do one better - when we blow into Nashvegas in a couple of weeks (I hope you are there and not in London - and I haven't mentioned that I am quite envious!) I say we have a pre-reunion nodfest!