Butch/Femme Dynamic vs "Masculinity" and "Femininity"

[Martina]

Originally Posted by ardentfemme

“I begin to imagine myself being the woman that a woman always wanted. That’s what I begin to eroticize. That’s what I begin to feel from my lover’s hands. I begin to fantasize myself becoming more and more female in order to comprehend and meet what I feel happening in her body. I don’t want her not to be female to me. Her need is female, but it’s butch because I am asking her to expose her desire through the movement of her hands on my body and I’ll respond. I want to give up power in response to her need. This can feel profoundly powerful and very unpassive.”
— Amber Hollibaugh, “What We’re Rollin Around in Bed With: Sexual Silences in Feminism: A Conversation Toward Ending Them” by Amber Hollibaugh and Cherríe Moraga, 1981

I was just reading this and I wanted to share it. To me, it speaks volumes about the distinctiveness of the b/f dynamic.

That's her experience and perhaps yours. I dare say it's a lot of femmes' experience, but there are femme tops and butch bottoms. There are also many butch femme couples whose sex does not include experiencing the butch partner's need as female.