The Loft: Butches and Femmes in their 40s, 50s and over.

Sunny · 06-26-2010, 07:33 AM

I hope everyone is staying cooooollllllll! It has been pretty hot here by the ocean. We do have a breeze all the time though. It makes it bearable. Well have to go to work today at least there is air there. They do keep it steamy.

cuddlyfemme · 06-26-2010, 07:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sunny

I hope everyone is staying cooooollllllll! It has been pretty hot here by the ocean. We do have a breeze all the time though. It makes it bearable. Well have to go to work today at least there is air there. They do keep it steamy.

i love ocean breezes....i'm glad where you work there is at least air. its supposed to get hot here in, columbia too. i think today is a day where i stay inside

Lady_Wu · 06-26-2010, 07:59 AM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY,
CUDDLYfEMME!!!

cuddlyfemme · 06-26-2010, 08:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lady_Wu

HAPPY BIRTHDAY,
CUDDLYfEMME!!!

Thank you so much Lady_Wu for the birthday wishes!!!!

ruthie14 · 06-26-2010, 01:58 PM

I am such an idiot. Apparently I have trouble figuring out if someone is interested in me or not. Been dating this one woman... told me she was interested.. Asked me for dates... flirted.. etc etc.. now she tells me she is not "ready for a relationship". Is she? or is she just NOT interested. We found each other on a dating site for heavens sake. WTF... do I have a sign on my head? Having a stiff drink. My head says its her issue... but the rest of me is thinking there is something wrong with me. I give up.

cuddlyfemme · 06-26-2010, 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ruthie14

I am such an idiot. Apparently I have trouble figuring out if someone is interested in me or not. Been dating this one woman... told me she was interested.. Asked me for dates... flirted.. etc etc.. now she tells me she is not "ready for a relationship". Is she? or is she just NOT interested. We found each other on a dating site for heavens sake. WTF... do I have a sign on my head? Having a stiff drink. My head says its her issue... but the rest of me is thinking there is something wrong with me. I give up.

Ruthie, I'm so sorry that happened...its happened to me too, so i understand. I just don't get it, why people do this. If they aren't ready for a relationship, ok....but to put yourself on a dating site, find someone and say "i'm not ready for a relationship" is something i can't wrap my head around

lipstixgal · 06-26-2010, 02:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cuddlyfemme

Ruthie, I'm so sorry that happened...its happened to me too, so i understand. I just don't get it, why people do this. If they aren't ready for a relationship, ok....but to put yourself on a dating site, find someone and say "i'm not ready for a relationship" is something i can't wrap my head around

Happy birthday cuddlyfemme!! Yeah I'm on dating sites too, met a woman wanted to meet for coffee then she emails and says she has to go on a business trip for 3 weeks am I suppose to wait for her? I don't know why she contacted me in the first place, can't wrap my mind around this one either. So Ruthie I feel for you. I don't understand why people even bother. Well for me I think I'm glad that nothing happened because I plan on moving out of fucking NJ can't stand it here any longer!! don't like the winters and don't like the people in the area. tomorrow is gay pride in NY going alone of course, no one to go with. Tired of being alone already

Jet · 06-26-2010, 05:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ruthie14

I am such an idiot. Apparently I have trouble figuring out if someone is interested in me or not. Been dating this one woman... told me she was interested.. Asked me for dates... flirted.. etc etc.. now she tells me she is not "ready for a relationship". Is she? or is she just NOT interested. We found each other on a dating site for heavens sake. WTF... do I have a sign on my head? Having a stiff drink. My head says its her issue... but the rest of me is thinking there is something wrong with me. I give up.

Sorry Ruthie,
but I don't get why you're upset. Did she tell you at the onset that she wanted a relationship and then changed her story? Can u just date and have a good time without commitments? If I'm way off the mark, it's because I don't see the issue with her not wanting a relationship. jus' sayin'

ruthie14 · 06-26-2010, 08:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jet

Sorry Ruthie,
but I don't get why you're upset. Did she tell you at the onset that she wanted a relationship and then changed her story? Can u just date and have a good time without commitments? If I'm way off the mark, it's because I don't see the issue with her not wanting a relationship. jus' sayin'

Well, my own 2 cents is.... that if you are NOT ready for a relationship.. then you should NOT be dating. Dating to me means that you are trying to find someone who you might want a LTR with. Doesn't mean you will find them, or that you won't date ppl that you don't fit with. That is to be expected. We met on a dating site and , quite frankly, I wasn't really sure we were going to date at all. I was perfectly content to do the friend thing and get to know her. She made the approach, wanting to call it dating, sexy talk, asking questions that, INHO , you ask a potential partner, not a friend. She kept asking for sleep overs and when push came to shove, well, she just wanted to sleep and nothing more. If she just wanted a friend or a cuddlepartner... then just tell me. I would have let her know that friendship would be fine but anything more leads to gfs for me. I am always upfront with how I am. No pretense. No games. If I like you, I like you, If I don't , I don't lead you to believe otherwise. I dunno, maybe time will give me a perspective I just can't see in this moment. Right now I am confused and hurt. Hard to look to much beyond that right now.

Oneida · 06-26-2010, 05:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ruthie14

I am such an idiot. Apparently I have trouble figuring out if someone is interested in me or not. Been dating this one woman... told me she was interested.. Asked me for dates... flirted.. etc etc.. now she tells me she is not "ready for a relationship". Is she? or is she just NOT interested. We found each other on a dating site for heavens sake. WTF... do I have a sign on my head? Having a stiff drink. My head says its her issue... but the rest of me is thinking there is something wrong with me. I give up.

I get it, Ruthie. It stinks, but you have to dust yourself off and remain positive. She wasn't the one. Better to find that out sooner than later (i.e., after a lot of invested time, etc. That's my theory anyway.)

Be good to you!

Luckydwg07 · 06-28-2010, 06:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ruthie14

I am such an idiot. Apparently I have trouble figuring out if someone is interested in me or not. Been dating this one woman... told me she was interested.. Asked me for dates... flirted.. etc etc.. now she tells me she is not "ready for a relationship". Is she? or is she just NOT interested. We found each other on a dating site for heavens sake. WTF... do I have a sign on my head? Having a stiff drink. My head says its her issue... but the rest of me is thinking there is something wrong with me. I give up.

I've met you Ruthie.....aint nothin wrong with you girl

Some people are just punks Ruthie & don't know their own mind or they are leading people on by have several to pick from the online dating pool and thinks its one of those bachelor shows on tv. Just plain rude!!

ruthie14 · 06-28-2010, 06:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Luckydwg07

I've met you Ruthie.....aint nothin wrong with you girl

Some people are just punks Ruthie & don't know their own mind or they are leading people on by have several to pick from the online dating pool and thinks its one of those bachelor shows on tv. Just plain rude!!

You have no idea how much I needed to hear that tonight. Feeling pretty blue.

Thanks honey

IttyBittyFem · 06-29-2010, 03:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ruthie14

I am such an idiot. Apparently I have trouble figuring out if someone is interested in me or not. Been dating this one woman... told me she was interested.. Asked me for dates... flirted.. etc etc.. now she tells me she is not "ready for a relationship". Is she? or is she just NOT interested. We found each other on a dating site for heavens sake. WTF... do I have a sign on my head? Having a stiff drink. My head says its her issue... but the rest of me is thinking there is something wrong with me. I give up.

THERE IS
NOTHING
WRONG WITH YOU

Apparently, you two just didn't click. It happens Ruthie. However, your date was already showing poor signs of communication, so it just may be a good thing how it ended up.

Chalk this one up for experience. Not every single person you meet will work out. There's lots of weeding to be performed prior to walking in the Garden of Love.

I think you're super special and any Butch that's fortunate enough to cross your path, will know that instantly when you're just being you.

ruthie14 · 06-29-2010, 04:12 AM

Thanks folks.. Idk.. I thought we were hitting it off. I questioned her bc her words and her actions were telling me 2 different things. Anyway.. onward. *shrug*

Anybody have any career ideas? I need to change what I am doing. I don't make enough and I am 48 ... need to start trying to save something. Everything I have been able to come up with in the last 2 years either takes too much college... too hard on my back... don't have an apptitude for.. or there is no job market for. I need to figure out something soon. Thanks.

06-26-2010, 07:33 AM	#1
Sunny Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: New Jersey Posts: 423 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 396 Thanked 745 Times in 283 Posts Rep Power: 6521618	Hot! Hot! Hot! I hope everyone is staying cooooollllllll! It has been pretty hot here by the ocean. We do have a breeze all the time though. It makes it bearable. Well have to go to work today at least there is air there. They do keep it steamy. __________________ Sunny

06-26-2010, 07:59 AM	#3
Lady_Wu Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Queer Stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: M'Lady Relationship Status: given up looking sigh Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: somewhere buried under a pile of books Posts: 197 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 285 Thanked 300 Times in 105 Posts Rep Power: 155957	Happy Birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CUDDLYfEMME!!! __________________ I'm the Yin in the Yang and the Yang in the Yin.

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06-26-2010, 01:58 PM	#5
ruthie14 Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: NJ Posts: 844 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,904 Thanked 1,243 Times in 461 Posts Rep Power: 5946336	I am such an idiot. Apparently I have trouble figuring out if someone is interested in me or not. Been dating this one woman... told me she was interested.. Asked me for dates... flirted.. etc etc.. now she tells me she is not "ready for a relationship". Is she? or is she just NOT interested. We found each other on a dating site for heavens sake. WTF... do I have a sign on my head? Having a stiff drink. My head says its her issue... but the rest of me is thinking there is something wrong with me. I give up.

06-29-2010, 04:12 AM	#14
ruthie14 Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: NJ Posts: 844 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,904 Thanked 1,243 Times in 461 Posts Rep Power: 5946336	Thanks folks.. Idk.. I thought we were hitting it off. I questioned her bc her words and her actions were telling me 2 different things. Anyway.. onward. shrug Anybody have any career ideas? I need to change what I am doing. I don't make enough and I am 48 ... need to start trying to save something. Everything I have been able to come up with in the last 2 years either takes too much college... too hard on my back... don't have an apptitude for.. or there is no job market for. I need to figure out something soon. Thanks.