Ask a trans person!

[Thinker]

Originally Posted by June

Hi, I have a question for the Trans folks in our community.

Knowing that there are a lot of acceptance issues for everyone involved, do you think it is more difficult to be accepted or welcomed into the on and off line BF communities as a FTM or MTF?

Where do you see the differences/disparities occurring? Why do you think that is? How can we help make that better?

Thank you, and feel free to ask me for clarification.

June

I don't know that I can answer really. I had some pretty deep roots in the community well before I decided to transition, so I just figure no one pays me any mind because of that.

If there is something more specific you want to ask (me), then please know I will give you an honest, thoughtful reply. I certainly want to help in any way I can.

[Thinker]

Originally Posted by June

Thank you, Thinker. So, here, let me put you on the hotseat for a moment. Do you think you kind of got "a pass" here because you were so well known by people, and you were just kind of "Our Thinker" and didn't start out being "other" or "outsider" or even "unknown"?

I wonder how it looks to those who have transitioned prior to coming to the site or even afterwards, but aren't as well known or known at all?

Yeah, I think I probably did.

I remember back a gazillion years ago at the site where I first joined this community. A post-transition FTM joined up and starting chiming in here and there, and I remember thinking... "Who the eff is this guy? He's not a transman. He's here to be an ass and hit on femmes."

Heh heh... Needless to say, I was pretty insecure and relatively immature in a lot of ways back then. Now, I wasn't overtly cruel to this guy; but I did not go out of my way to make him feel welcome either. Keep in mind, too, that he stated directly that he was straight and never identified as butch. At that time in my life, that was all I needed to "not like him". Again...my insecurities and immaturity at play.

I realize that's just me and that I can't project that kind of behavior on to any other member here. But... I suspect there might be one or two (or 80) members who would be as suspicious now as I was back then.....perhaps even offering up a less than warm reception to the newcomer.

I'm just guessing, but I think what probably drives it is wondering why a straight guy would join up at a queer site. Folks see that and get suspicious.......and protective. Think about it... We've already seen the question, "Why would a man want to be at a queer site?" If that's the overarching question when dealing with this man...the lens through which you view him.....then you (general you) aren't going to be completely open and welcoming.