Negotiating Silence

[Arwen]

Originally Posted by NotAnAverageGuy

not asking for a free pass, just the fact that a person should be able to say or do what they want without the fear of being banned, repped negatively, etc.

But what I do have a problem with is someone trying to silence me by say rules, etc.

This would work if we could trust one another not to say or do thing intentionally to hurt. Unfortunately, we all know that people will do and say things that hurt--sometimes intentionally.

There are things that I think do NEED to be silenced. Things that SuperFemme mentioned like racism and that ilk.

I do not believe we have the right to say anything we want in public. That is not, to me, what freedom of speech is meant for. Plus, that is a fairly American (I think) concept so it may not play well in all cultures.

I also am very much a change from within rather than a change from without which is what I view anarchy as. A very simplistic view to be sure!

[NotAnAverageGuy]

Originally Posted by Arwen

This would work if we could trust one another not to say or do thing intentionally to hurt. Unfortunately, we all know that people will do and say things that hurt--sometimes intentionally.

There are things that I think do NEED to be silenced. Things that SuperFemme mentioned like racism and that ilk.

I do not believe we have the right to say anything we want in public. That is not, to me, what freedom of speech is meant for. Plus, that is a fairly American (I think) concept so it may not play well in all cultures.

I also am very much a change from within rather than a change from without which is what I view anarchy as. A very simplistic view to be sure!

I agree with the first paragraph, and I do know people do, do those things on purpose.

I am just the type who says what and to whom I want to in public, that's how I was brought up. I am also very blunt, honest and rude about things when pissed off.

[Arwen]

Originally Posted by NotAnAverageGuy

I agree with the first paragraph, and I do know people do, do those things on purpose.

I am just the type who says what and to whom I want to in public, that's how I was brought up. I am also very blunt, honest and rude about things when pissed off.

And my truth is that I know that when I am angry or worse, hurt, I can be very very strident and razor-sharp. I used to have a good friend I could send things to for "review" before posting. That relationship has changed so I don't have that luxury anymore.

When I am angry, I do my best to not post or to phrase it so that it is very clear that I am angry and venting.

If I am hurt, I tend to lash out at anything and anyone that moves. When I had to put my beloved dog down a month ago today, I went no mail on several email lists and locked myself down on how and what to post.

I do not want to be that person anymore. That is part of the bitter, gossiping woman I have made a pledge to not be.

So, when I can't seek joy and I know I'm angry or hurt, I will remove myself as much as possible from the "easy" targets some forums (online lists and chats for the most part) make.

That way I can't show my rear so much. It's not easy. I've shown that part of my anatomy A LOT. Many people still expect it. That is not within my hula-hoop. All I can do is move forward and keep within my personal boundaries as best I can.

So, there are times when I silence myself intentionally.

[NotAnAverageGuy]

Thats a good way to be and I understand how you feel about things

I am just glad we all can agree to disagree and help others out rather than fighting ya know