Dating a Trans Person (FTM)

[betenoire]

Originally Posted by PearlsNLace

Is it a hassle to go through this? Honestly (to Jet) it can be for me. But that has more to do with what the quality of the RELATIONSHIP Im having with the person at the time. And the individuals maturity and personality pre T is a big deal. If the only social conversation the guy Im dating seems to be able to have is about gender, his transition, the way the world reacts differently as he begins to pass, and more about HIM, then, well, truth is his transition is probably just exacerbating the features that were allready there, like being a boring self absorbed pain in the ass. Im not saying that transition isnt a big deal, because it is. But I have found that for a early transitioning relationship to thrive there needs to be other things that also take precidence in focus. Interests that do NOT revolve around transition are vital.

This needs repeating.

Remember: You are NOT a bad person if you want to talk about something other than his transition. You are NOT unsupportive if you want to talk about something other than his transition. You are NOT a giant transphobe meaniehead if you want to talk about something other than his transition.

I'm not saying it's normal to never want to talk about your guy's new hair. I'm just saying that you're a person too and you still deserve to talk about what happened at work today, that the phonebill is due tomorrow, what you both should have for dinner, etc.

If you don't take care of you, if you don't make sure that you're BOTH taking care of your relationship - you're going to end up wicked unhappy, resentful, and maybe feel a lot ripped off.