Stone Butches

[DamselFly]

i want to speak about myself as a stone femme. in a very early post on this thread, i read a definition of a stone femme as either receiving, not giving, or not wanting to be touched sexually in certain ways. neither of these definitions apply to me! when i hear of stone femmes as "receiving, not giving", i really get angry! when with a stone butch, i AM giving just as much as i am receiving, only in a different way. first of all, let me say that in the past i have dated almost exclusively stone/tg/FtM butches. i go for that type of energy exchange. when with a Stone Butch, whether tg or not, i feel an exhilaration just to be with hym. i feel proud to be seen by hys side in public- a "this is who i am, this is who WE are"! this pulls at the inmost part of my femininity, my femme-ness. sexually, i adore being w/a stone butch. when i give myself to hym, it is as a precious gift, and the true ones know this and treat me as such. but this giving is NOT a passive "just lay there"! in my giving myself and getting hys energy, hys passion, hys tenderness, i give back mine in return. perhaps more subtly and in different ways than w/a non-stone butch. for example, i would never touch a stone butch in a feminizing way, and i find out beforehand where hys boundaries are. but i move with hys rhythm, i run my hands down hys back and body where appropriate, i wrap my legs around hym...and GO with hym! hys taking/my receiving go back and forth in a yin-yang flow that is the essence of the stone dance. i WANT hys taking me as hys gift. the energy is equal in quality but not in means. i don't want to touch a butch like hy touches me. (one BIG reason i'm a femme and a stone/transensual femme.) i am not a lipstick lesbian-i am a FEMME.
i hope that this makes some sense and helps put an end to the canard that stone femmes just receive. of course, this is just one queer stone femme's perspective. it is my truth.
namaste,
DamselFly
i apologize for so many caps, but this is a subject that i get very passionate about!

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by DamselFly

i want to speak about myself as a stone femme. in a very early post on this thread, i read a definition of a stone femme as either receiving, not giving, or not wanting to be touched sexually in certain ways. neither of these definitions apply to me! when i hear of stone femmes as "receiving, not giving", i really get angry! when with a stone butch, i AM giving just as much as i am receiving, only in a different way. first of all, let me say that in the past i have dated almost exclusively stone/tg/FtM butches. i go for that type of energy exchange. when with a Stone Butch, whether tg or not, i feel an exhilaration just to be with hym. i feel proud to be seen by hys side in public- a "this is who i am, this is who WE are"! this pulls at the inmost part of my femininity, my femme-ness. sexually, i adore being w/a stone butch. when i give myself to hym, it is as a precious gift, and the true ones know this and treat me as such. but this giving is NOT a passive "just lay there"! in my giving myself and getting hys energy, hys passion, hys tenderness, i give back mine in return. perhaps more subtly and in different ways than w/a non-stone butch. for example, i would never touch a stone butch in a feminizing way, and i find out beforehand where hys boundaries are. but i move with hys rhythm, i run my hands down hys back and body where appropriate, i wrap my legs around hym...and GO with hym! hys taking/my receiving go back and forth in a yin-yang flow that is the essence of the stone dance. i WANT hys taking me as hys gift. the energy is equal in quality but not in means. i don't want to touch a butch like hy touches me. (one BIG reason i'm a femme and a stone/transensual femme.) i am not a lipstick lesbian-i am a FEMME.
i hope that this makes some sense and helps put an end to the canard that stone femmes just receive. of course, this is just one queer stone femme's perspective. it is my truth.
namaste,
DamselFly
i apologize for so many caps, but this is a subject that i get very passionate about!

[Sachita]

This is what I think and it can apply to almost anyone.

I have a 3 month rule. No matter what I don't have sex until that time passes. Trust me, I'm VERY open minded but I also view sex as sacred and the one final thing that truly connects us. I also want to know that the time I'm investing in pursuing a relationship isn't wasted. Worse case we remain excellent friends. If the can't communicate well or they can't be honest about their feelings its not going to work- end of story. There is no way in hell you'll understand this about anyone coming out of the gate. People talk a lot of shit especially when trying to impress someone. If you can't be with one another, regardless if your B-F, stone, trans whatever, in common space, without the complexity of sex then you've never survive a relationship. I have a real problem with someone who exits at the first sign of conflict so i want to know this FIRST before I ever drop my panties.

If you are remotely interested then spend time with that person. If you're honest, real and basically good people you will begin to forage a friendship. Any chemistry thats there should naturally balance itself because what i have found that the rules changes sometimes depending who you're with. Never say never. I mean I don't want to make love to a butch the way hy does me- nope, not my thing BUT there may be an exception based on the human connection and dynamic WE feel together. If we spend time together, as friends we will naturally learn to respect each other's space. If it evolves into hot wonderful sex PERFECT! If not it just wasn't meant to be.

I don't misrepresent myself I just don't feel the need to tell a friend how I fuck. After many many moons I've also learned that there may be new horizons I may climb. I'd like to keep my options open. I once dated a little trans-boy much younger then I. We started as friends and somehow we established an interesting dynamic that neither one of us had ever even thought about before. It came out of nowhere one day and the most amazing thing is that we remained friends with that special chemistry. I've never had this with anyone before so I never bottom line anything. lol Ultimately I am seeking a life partner and there are so many OTHER factors that come into play other than sex. These all must be present BEFORE anything else and if sex seals the deal off we go into the sunset!

[Miss Scarlett]

Originally Posted by DamselFly

i want to speak about myself as a stone femme. in a very early post on this thread, i read a definition of a stone femme as either receiving, not giving, or not wanting to be touched sexually in certain ways. neither of these definitions apply to me! when i hear of stone femmes as "receiving, not giving", i really get angry! when with a stone butch, i AM giving just as much as i am receiving, only in a different way. first of all, let me say that in the past i have dated almost exclusively stone/tg/FtM butches. i go for that type of energy exchange. when with a Stone Butch, whether tg or not, i feel an exhilaration just to be with hym. i feel proud to be seen by hys side in public- a "this is who i am, this is who WE are"! this pulls at the inmost part of my femininity, my femme-ness. sexually, i adore being w/a stone butch. when i give myself to hym, it is as a precious gift, and the true ones know this and treat me as such. but this giving is NOT a passive "just lay there"! in my giving myself and getting hys energy, hys passion, hys tenderness, i give back mine in return. perhaps more subtly and in different ways than w/a non-stone butch. for example, i would never touch a stone butch in a feminizing way, and i find out beforehand where hys boundaries are. but i move with hys rhythm, i run my hands down hys back and body where appropriate, i wrap my legs around hym...and GO with hym! hys taking/my receiving go back and forth in a yin-yang flow that is the essence of the stone dance. i WANT hys taking me as hys gift. the energy is equal in quality but not in means. i don't want to touch a butch like hy touches me. (one BIG reason i'm a femme and a stone/transensual femme.) i am not a lipstick lesbian-i am a FEMME.
i hope that this makes some sense and helps put an end to the canard that stone femmes just receive. of course, this is just one queer stone femme's perspective. it is my truth.
namaste,
DamselFly
i apologize for so many caps, but this is a subject that i get very passionate about!

Exactly! This is the way I feel too...but many people cannot wrap their brain around it...

For me there is an exchange in every aspect of the relationship and it is my natural response to him...it just flows between us and is a beautiful thing!

I respect boundaries too, when I know what they are.

[DamselFly]

it is good to know that are T/those who understand how i feel!
just dropping by to say hello to all the B/butches and femmes in this thread. i want to say that i like reading E/everyone's post and POV. very interesting. thank Y/you, everyone, for them. i'm so glad to have this thread!
damselfly

[QueenofSmirks]

Good morning all!

[DamselFly]

qingduo guan zhao! Glad to be here! for someone who got no sleep last night, i'm doing pretty well! still cold here, so that means MAYBE the long walk to the postbox. i've been feeling bad these last several days-dr. visits really take the energy out of me, plus they're playing around w/my meds! i dislike that the first thing a new dr does is change meds. i don't understand why, if things are working, they fell they've got to tinker w/it anyway. must be something learned in med school on patient relations (not good!)
that's my rant for the morning! going to get lunch now!
namaste,
DamselFly

[Toughy]

you can tell the MD that you don't want to change your meds......they are working just fine (assuming they are)...you really can say no........they need need to give you a good reason for changing them....'tinkering' is bullshit...

[DomnNC]

You have to be careful nowadays about refusing to follow your Dr's orders. More and more if you refuse to change meds when they dictate or do certain therapies they have the right to refuse to be your Dr, then they report you to your insurance company and they refuse to pay for meds that your Dr has recommended you come off of EVEN if they are working for you. There are reasons at times that a Dr will change your meds up, it can be that after a certain time the drug you are taking becomes toxic to you or no longer is handling whatever health situation you are taking them for depending on tests results.

My mother was given 2 different drugs for treatment of osteoperosis, she had bad reactions to both of them, Actinol and another one, can't recall the name. A new Dr wanted her to take Reclast (the once a year IV thing). She told him about the two bad reactions she had to the pill form and asked him if this drug was different, he told her it was basically an IV of the same pills. She said ok, so if I start having a bad reaction how do you get it out of my system, is there an antidote, to which he replied no, so based on her history with these type of drugs she said I'd prefer not to take it then. He looked at her and said well if you aren't going to follow my advice you need to leave my office and find another Dr. He had best be glad I didn't accompany her on that visit. So you have to be careful what you say to Dr's nowadays. He reported her to her insurance company who then refused to pay for the pill versions which was ok since she couldn't take them anyway. The insurance companies have taken over our lives little by little, while we pay ridiculous insurance rates and they have the senators and congressmen in their hip pockets with all the perks they give them.