Reclaiming Androgyny & The Text Book Definition

[AtLast]

Originally Posted by BullDog

I do embrace my masculinity, but I can see why many butch women do not since it continues to be equated with male most of the time, including in butch femme circles.

I do think of androgyny as being a blend of masculine and feminine as opposed to neither.

Good topic.

A blend and I believe it can be a much more fluid manner to identify or describe. Back in "my day" it was used positively and carried with it a sense of "equality"- well, within my "circles."

I have never experienced so much slicing and dicing of gender identity as I have within the B-F community. Not my favorite aspect of it. Although, sometimes I honestly think it is simply how people try to find their comfort zone with gender. That is a neutral state to me- not positive or negative, simply musing and figuring out something.

Why some things get so charged is amazing to me. I do embrace my own masculinity, but see it as stemming from the feminine (which is really a personal spiritual concept). I don't view either as good or bad.

As June brought up, I don't know why we in the US are so damn focused on such narrow definitions of gender. To me, this is something that ought to be the height of diversity.

[princessbelle]

I have this thought, just my own way of seeing the seemingly real push to identify online to basically how butch you are vs. how femme.

"I identify as this or that or i don't identify in any group or don't ask me...i am me. "

You know when *we* go to a gay bar for instance, people don't run around with name tags on that say *ftm* or *androgynous* or *butch and prefer she* etc. You are either attracted to someone or you aren't, at the beginning anyway. Besides the fact of knowing that person on a deeper level, the first thing we honestly notice is the way they look, react to people, talk, and or *especially for me* their movements and swagger or walk.

Online this is almost impossible. Well, we do have photos but you can't see the movements, the shading of the person, the eyes into who they really are other than the thoughts or posts they provide. The thoughts of others are very important but it generally doesn't tell you if they are *what you are looking for* by reading "What made you smile today" thread.

I'm betting on the fact that the majority of us aren't that shallow as to try and mold people into a group that has been discussed a million times and one in which i'm pretty sure we will never all agree totally to each definition of the IDs. I'm also betting on the fact that without these IDs as noted on many profiles we could talk it up and then meet and find out it is not as we perceived things (not to say that doesn't happen...but it would certainly happen more IMO).

Maybe i'm looking at this too elementary, too simply...but to me the IDs are just a tool to help us *see* each other. Maybe we aren't trying to disect ourselves or others with the labeling but just an honest way to "see" who we are having a drink with, a talk with, a connection with. I honestly don't know of too many people on here that say i'm this or that and doesn't appreciate how someone else IDs as well.

On here saying you are androgynous may make many turn away or turn toward, but in real time, i don't think the way someone IDs is that important. You are either attracted or you aren't.

Maybe the attention we give to IDs is just because we aren't sitting in a room with drinks of ...water. IMO online it is often hard to recognize or conceed to our attrations if we don't fully understand how the other person.....swaggers or walks.

[Quintease]

I love androgyny!

The first time I saw my bf put on a pink shirt I knew we would be all. right. He's a beautiful boy and his disregard for gendered colours makes me love him all the more.

My ex gf, my last serious relationship, was much the same. Everyone thought she was butch.. until the first time they saw her partying in lipstick and girly outfits. She never dressed for any one else.