Big Butch Love

[Jet]

Let's talk about what it's like to be heavy, overweight or however you would like to refer to it.

Does it affect your self-esteem?
Does it prevent you from getting dates?
Do you feel unattractive to femmes?
Do you attract women to date?
Are you doing anything to lose weight?
Are you satisfied with how you look?
Do you have weight goals or not?
Are you happy and in love without weight ever being a factor?
Does your partner want you to lose weight or not?
Do others see you as lovable and sexy just as you are?


This is a general topic, and I'm just throwing out questions for discussion.
Feel free to jump in with your own thoughts and ideas.

[Andrew, Jr.]

My parents always called me fat to my face even when I was thin. I was barely 120 pounds until I got severely sick with pneu. and bronch. and was put on steroids, and hospitalized.

Sure I would love to be thin. Who wouldn't? That is what our society is all about these days. People are rude. They staire, point, and make very nasty remarks towards those of us who are overweight.

Personally, I am attracted to those who are overweight. It just makes me smile ear to ear. I love to read fat positive threads. I am tired of the medical community dissing those of us who are overweight. And I am really tired of our society putting so many under the bus for this or that. It just isn't right.

Good thread Jet. My hats off to you!

[amiyesiam]

I guess my first question in these kinds of discussions is: Is the person starting the discussion thin or plus size?
Cause, nothing personal, but thin people telling me about being thin is not a positive experience.
Kind of like non diabetics telling me what I should or should not eat.
Or when straight people tell me how to be queer.


A lot of thin people don't like plus size people and make life harder for plus size people.

Cause ya know most people don't trash talk plus size people to their faces, just like racists usually keep their mouths shut around POC. It is amazing what they will say when there are no POC around.

just general rambling

[Jet]

Yes, well I'm overweight and can't see being attractive to anyone. I'm working on it. But it's beside the point. What really pisses of is that I have clothes that I can't get into. I need to see a doctor about cortisol levels. Lots of stressors in my life and I need to be checked out. Exercise isn't doing the trick.

[Write14u]

Originally Posted by Ol' Jet

Let's talk about what it's like to be heavy, overweight or however you would like to refer to it.

Does it affect your self-esteem?
Does it prevent you from getting dates?
Do you feel unattractive to femmes?
Do you attract women to date?
Are you doing anything to lose weight?
Are you satisfied with how you look?
Do you have weight goals or not?
Are you happy and in love without weight ever being a factor?
Does your partner want you to lose weight or not?
Do others see you as lovable and sexy just as you are?


This is a general topic, and I'm just throwing out questions for discussion.
Feel free to jump in with your own thoughts and ideas.

In my early 20s, I had major self-esteem issues, but as I came out and settled down into who I am, they've gone away. I've learned to be comfortable in my skin. Does it mean I'm perfectly happy with myself? Absolutely not. For me, though, it is about being comfortable and not what society thinks. I've had the good fortune to have dated women who have loved my size and strength.
Right now, I'm not happy with my size because I left it drift up while dealing with drama and a crazy work schedule, but I'm working on it.
I've never dated anyone where my size was an issue and I've dated women of all shapes and sizes. I once dated a woman that I outweighed by 100 pounds and she had far more body issues than I did.
As for goals, mine right now is simply to get back down to what I consider a healthy range for myself.

[Andrew, Jr.]

Amiyesiam

[Dude]

Originally Posted by Ol' Jet

Are you happy and in love without weight ever being a factor?
Yes
Does your partner want you to lose weight or not? No, she loves me for me. I would not be with someone who tripped about shit like that

Do others see you as lovable and sexy just as you are?I have no idea .I don't care about being sexy to anyone but her. Hopefully, there are a few people out there who think I'm lovable for my winning personality.

I am not fat (but not exactly at my truly desired weight)so I probably should not have even answered this.
I felt compelled for some reason to answer the most important questions.

.

Ol' Jet,
Color me confused with this thread based on your statements in the Big girl thread. Also, I wonder if you see yourself as misrepresenting your present self/weight with your picture slide that's in your signature line? Are those current pictures?

[Dude]

I could have sworn I saw a post . oh well

I can only hope that no Big people ever consider getting with someone
who wants to help them work on their weight or anything else that the other
person deems worth fiximg.
Two different people in the Big girl thread said just that and wonder why the other person left?
Gee, I wonder.

[Jet]

Originally Posted by Dude

Ol' Jet,
Color me confused with this thread based on your statements in the Big girl thread. Also, I wonder if you see yourself as misrepresenting your present self/weight with your picture slide that's in your signature line? Are those current pictures?

To respond to your question Dude, my photo's are 2008-09. I'm sorry my post confused you. I opened this thread for butches who may want to express themselves regarding weight. So I'm disappointed that you felt my post was inappropate in a thread that clearly focuses on*Big Butch Love. Personally, I'm sensitive about my weight because something is wrong medically. On another note, I was deeply involved with a BBW and don't feel its necessary to defend it any more than what I expressed in Big Girl Love. I'm sorry if my views are disagreeable. They weren't intended to offend anyone.

[IttyBittyFem]

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

My parents always called me fat to my face even when I was thin. I was barely 120 pounds until I got severely sick with pneu. and bronch. and was put on steroids, and hospitalized.

Sure I would love to be thin. Who wouldn't? That is what our society is all about these days. People are rude. They staire, point, and make very nasty remarks towards those of us who are overweight.

Personally, I am attracted to those who are overweight. It just makes me smile ear to ear. I love to read fat positive threads. I am tired of the medical community dissing those of us who are overweight. And I am really tired of our society putting so many under the bus for this or that. It just isn't right.

Good thread Jet. My hats off to you!

Great Post Andrew. It saddens me to know any individual experienced criticism from their own parents. Throughout our entire lives, we still seek their consistent approval.

Discrimination, in any format is tormenting. As a self proclaimed Pollyanna, I proudly am of the belief our world could benefit enormously with positive input, starting with one individual at a time. Should the time ever come where I find myself in the position to be the 'first in line', I optimistically accept the challenge as my own responsibility in hopes the world views the glass half full . . .

Arwen says it best, so please permit me to quote her "Seek Joy Ya'll".

[Andrew, Jr.]

Dear Itty,

Thank you for your love and support. It reminded me of a saying by Mother Teresa "We can do no great things, only small things with great love."

You have to remember my father was verbally abusive. His tongue was sharp as a knife. And my mother was no better. I could write a book about the things that would come out of their mouths...just horrible. The scars last a lifetime. Now that they are elderly, I just pity them. I pray for them. That is about all I can do for now.

Love,
Andrew

[Jet]

Originally Posted by IttyBittyFem

Great Post Andrew. It saddens me to know any individual experienced criticism from their own parents. Throughout our entire lives, we still seek their consistent approval.

Discrimination, in any format is tormenting. As a self proclaimed Pollyanna, I proudly am of the belief our world could benefit enormously with positive input, starting with one individual at a time. Should the time ever come where I find myself in the position to be the 'first in line', I optimistically accept the challenge as my own responsibility in hopes the world views the glass half full . . .

Arwen says it best, so please permit me to quote her "Seek Joy Ya'll".

Great post.

[Lady Jewel]

Just so I understand, you get a "get out of jail free" card because your weight is related to medical issues? So that means the rest of us with weight issues dont? And as I recall in the other thread you were incensed that the woman misrepresented herself online if Im not mistaken and yet you post an old pic of yourself??? Ya know if it walks like a duck...you know the saying. I am sure you wont be able to own this Jet, but I think it takes a LOT of chutzpah to go into the Big Girl thread and be insensitve to weight issues and then start this one. Think about it. But Im sure you have the perfect defense for this. What you did in that other thread was hurtful to a lot of women. Just own it. And Mods, if I stepped out of line, Im sorry. But Im only saying what everyone has been grumbling about. Us fat chicks choke on a lot of shit in our day to day lives and and I just cant swallow this one down.

Jewel

Originally Posted by Ol' Jet

To respond to your question Dude, my photo's are 2008-09. I'm sorry my post confused you. I opened this thread for butches who may want to express themselves regarding weight. So I'm disappointed that you felt my post was inappropate in a thread that clearly focuses on*Big Butch Love. Personally, I'm sensitive about my weight because something is wrong medically. On another note, I was deeply involved with a BBW and don't feel its necessary to defend it any more than what I expressed in Big Girl Love. I'm sorry if my views are disagreeable. They weren't intended to offend anyone.

[Jet]

June, let me thank you for stepping knowing the real story behind the scene we talked about.

I want to clarify: This is about butch body image and weight issues.
My earlier post about my personal relationship with a BBW should have no relevance here, but I'll clarify anyway: I loved her for her, without figuring her weight into the equation. I was never incensed about her weight, just surprised since I had met her sight unseen. Nowhere did I say I was incensed.

Attractive is attractive regardless of weight, I've made that clear in earlier posts. My belief is that its how you present and carry yourself. Now, I apologize again if my posts or stance has tipped the insult scale. I didn't mean to offend anybody whatsoever.

And for the record, my pics are as current as 10.09 and I look like shit without a get out of jail FREE card. I have issues with my weight and I'm trying to deal.

[Kast]

Hey Jet - do you think you can stay out of trouble for 5 minutes out here at a time, buddy? I doubt it - that's what you get for revealing anything personal about yourself - why put yourself in this vulnerable, word-swapping game?

You say and intend one thing and it will always be turned around by the ones who have never heard your voice, how you speak, what your values are... those that don't know you. There's always two sides to every story and they are going to pretend like they know what the other side is, regardless of reality... so why put yourself out here as a target? Censor yourself - that's what they are asking - don't give any personal opinions, for crying out loud, speak in vagueness... in third person. As in...

I once knew this guy who worked out regularly, was into body building... and then hit mid-life - and then whammy - it happened! and he became very disillusioned, concerned that something was medically wrong... he felt as if he wasn't as attractive to the femme's anymore, it bothered his self-esteem... blah, blah...

Ok, ok... lol - I told you what I did when I gained too much weight. What was too much weight for me, well - that's personal... we all have an ideal body weight and know when our knees are hurting from carrying too much, our heart is working too hard, we don't fit into our clothes, we can't physically do what we used to be able to...etc. in some cases, such as yours might be - it could be a variety of things? For starters, you need your blood titer levels looked at first to see what's going on there and then make decisions based on what they say.

And, as far as finding a girl who is going to love you just the way you are... have faith - she's out there somewhere...

[Jet]

Originally Posted by Kam

Hey Jet - do you think you can stay out of trouble for 5 minutes out here at a time, buddy? I doubt it - that's what you get for revealing anything personal about yourself - why put yourself in this vulnerable, word-swapping game?

You say and intend one thing and it will always be turned around by the ones who have never heard your voice, how you speak, what your values are... those that don't know you. There's always two sides to every story and they are going to pretend like they know what the other side is, regardless of reality... so why put yourself out here as a target? Censor yourself - that's what they are asking - don't give any personal opinions, for crying out loud, speak in vagueness... in third person. As in...

I once knew this guy who worked out regularly, was into body building... and then hit mid-life - and then whammy - it happened! and he became very disillusioned, concerned that something was medically wrong... he felt as if he wasn't as attractive to the femme's anymore, it bothered his self-esteem... blah, blah...

Ok, ok... lol - I told you what I did when I gained too much weight. What was too much weight for me, well - that's personal... we all have an ideal body weight and know when our knees are hurting from carrying too much, our heart is working too hard, we don't fit into our clothes, we can't physically do what we used to be able to...etc. in some cases, such as yours might be - it could be a variety of things? For starters, you need your blood titer levels looked at first to see what's going on there and then make decisions based on what they say.

And, as far as finding a girl who is going to love you just the way you are... have faith - she's out there somewhere...

You're a great pal, Kam and I appreciate the advice. You know me always jumping in head first. Thanks for coming in with your much appreciated .02.

[Jett]

Originally Posted by Kam

Hey Jet - do you think you can stay out of trouble for 5 minutes out here at a time, buddy? I doubt it - that's what you get for revealing anything personal about yourself - why put yourself in this vulnerable, word-swapping game?

You say and intend one thing and it will always be turned around by the ones who have never heard your voice, how you speak, what your values are... those that don't know you. There's always two sides to every story and they are going to pretend like they know what the other side is, regardless of reality... so why put yourself out here as a target? Censor yourself - that's what they are asking - don't give any personal opinions, for crying out loud, speak in vagueness... in third person. As in...

I once knew this guy who worked out regularly, was into body building... and then hit mid-life - and then whammy - it happened! and he became.. *snip*.

Kam, I think there's enough tinder around here that throwing gas isn't necessary.

I know you're probably trying to stand by Jet's side but considering the circumstance I don't think get people re-riled is going to help.

I get that what you've said sometime happens... but there's also where misunderstandings get fixed through a little honest explanation and open mindedness... moving on leaving space for people to be able to get back to business at hand.

That'd be great to see in this thread.

Metropolis

ETA: Your post was not reported but I'm (semi)-moderating it at my own discretion as it seems to me to be purposely inflammatory

[TIMBERWOLF]

Im a larger Butch and yes just like a lot of us , wish i weighted less then i do. I never seemed to have a problem finding a date/partner in my life, but I also prefer women with some meat on their bones. I have had partners that were skinnier than I, but prefer to have them around my wt.
TIMBER

[Kast]

Originally Posted by Metropolis

Kam, I think there's enough tinder around here that throwing gas isn't necessary.

I know you're probably trying to stand by Jet's side but considering the circumstance I don't think get people re-riled is going to help.

I get that what you've said sometime happens... but there's also where misunderstandings get fixed through a little honest explanation and open mindedness... moving on leaving space for people to be able to get back to business at hand.

That'd be great to see in this thread.

Metropolis

ETA: Your post was not reported but I'm (semi)-moderating it at my own discretion as it seems to me to be purposely inflammatory

I am speaking personally to my good buddy, did he seem inflamed?, no - it calmed him down - my intention. We have created a thread to talk to one another as how we normally speak in our everyday conversations on a particular topic... what are you asking?

[Jett]

Originally Posted by Kam

I am speaking personally to my good buddy, did he seem inflamed?, no - it calmed him down - my intention. We have created a thread to talk to one another as how we normally speak in our everyday conversations on a particular topic... what are you asking?

I understand you were speaking to your good buddy... and I'm not asking anything Kam, as a moderator of this forum I was speaking to you about your post I felt was inflammatory to the immediate situation at the time you made it... specifically these lines...

Originally Posted by Kam

- that's what you get for revealing anything personal about yourself - .............

............You say and intend one thing and it will always be turned around by the ones who have never heard your voice, how you speak, what your values are... ..................

There's always two sides to every story and they are going to pretend like they know what the other side is, regardless of reality...

Censor yourself - that's what they are asking - don't give any personal opinions, for crying out loud, ...........

You may have been speaking to your good buddy... but you were speaking about "they they they".. so your comments were hardly limited to him.

If you have any further questions about this feel free to PM me, and as I said allow this thread to get back to it's original intention.

Metropolis