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Queer, trans guy, butch Preferred Pronoun?:
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As far as the comments about it being "just a joke" and him "not meaning it," I also find that a little surprising to hear to say the least. Those kinds of defenses are also used to defend misogynist jokes. Often when men make sexist jokes against women they claim it to be "just a joke" and not to "mean anything by it." Same with those who claim its "just a joke" when they make homophobic jokes. Often joking about a group that is less privileged than you are emphasises that privilege. I remember there was a topic awhile ago, maybe a year or more, about a comedy skit about lesbian "cougars." At the time I remember taking the stance that it was satiric. While I still think that it partially was satiric, I've now certainly changed my perspective as far as the misogyny and homophobia present in that "comedy." I'm seeing something similar here. Transphobia, sexism, homophobia etc. in our society does not always take on a violent form, or a form where the perpetrator claims any direct ill will against the target group. Not everyone who is transphobic goes out and tries to physically harm trans people. I've seen many comments by cis people express disgust when they hear about the murder or assault of a transwoman, however, they still express that "even those these people are ill/deviants/lifestyle choice etc. etc. they don't deserve to be beaten." It's the same "hate the sin not the sinner" bullshit that has very damaging repercussions when it comes to how trans people are treated in every day life, outside of physical violence. In our society transphobia, misogyny and homophobia are so ingrained in our ideals that people often don't even recognise it in themselves, and believe certain jokes and comments to be socially acceptable simply because they're the norm. I see jokes against trans people and other marginalised people as something serious, and especially when its performed by those who hold more social privilege. I want to clarify again, as I have in the past in this thread and elsewhere, that I don't care if a trans person uses the word "tranny" as a personal identifier, just the way I don't care if a gay man identifies himself as a "fag." I do have a problem when cis people start calling trans people "trannies." It is an entirely different ball game. If a trans person assumed all trans people identified as "trannies" I would correct them. If a cis person made the same assumption I would correct them, but even more I would be weary that they even felt entitled enough to use that word to refer to trans people. Same with the word "fag" and other such terms. As far as if I would be offended if a trans person had made the joke...yes I certainly would be. Being trans doesn't exempt you from being transphobic or having internalised transphobia, just the way being queer doesn't exempt you from being homophobic and having internalised homophobia. I've definitely witnessed a lot of internalised transphobia and self-hatred coming from trans people, and it's not something I support or see as conducive to establishing trans rights and respect in society. I'd also add that this observation is a big part of what motivated me to try to find trans communities that are more trans-positive, rather than always thinking others have the right to walk all over us and that we don't have the right to say anything about it. |
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