What every Femme should know...

[Kobi]

Originally Posted by Julie

Kobi,

I would like to answer your questions based on my perspective.

As we know, the title of any subject can hold as great a bearing as the actual content. Be it a post here on the planet, a magazine article or the title of a poem.

When I read, "What every Femme should know." My automatic response is to read what perhaps I am missing as a Femme. Hmmm, perhaps I have not learned something in my 50 years of life and my 33 years of being an identified Femme (though I have had some lapses for personal reasons).

I do know this from a personal standpoint. In my younger years, I thought I needed to be adored and worshiped by my partner to have any value. I had long hair, just so my partner could sweet the hair in front of my eyes and would see me as more feminine. When they spent money on me, I felt loved. I wanted to hear how lucky they were, because honestly... I did not have the value within myself to believe it on my own. I wanted to be told that I was beautiful and sexy, because I did not feel this inside. It gave me validation as a Femme.

When I cut off all my hair... I was challenged. Are you really a Femme? You and I have spoken on the phone Kobi. You have heard my voice Kobi and know that I have an extremely deep voice. Not a voice of a girl. I am often mistaken for a Sir. I have heard, are you really a Femme. Years ago, this would have shamed me. These are my issues... Not the issues of any other person that I am speaking about. When I lost (partial) my breast - I lost a sense of my femininity. I felt like I was not Feminine enough to wear the clothes that made me sexy at one time. What a Femme should know... For me. None of the above matters. If I can say out loud here, what other Femme's might be feeling, similar to what I have felt in the past. Then that is a good thing. I am a Femme. I have the knowledge about being a Femme that a butch just does not have. This is not to say, I have the knowledge what all Femme's should feel. Feelings are personal.

Regardless if the OP identifies as Male Identified, Heterosexual, Female or anything else which might fall in between, matters not to me. I responded based on the Title and then of course on the content.

I believe we are all entitled to our opinions. And in being entitled to our opinions, we are "all," welcome to post them. I do not believe anybody attacked the OP. Strong and beautiful self empowered Femme's came in here, and gave their own rendition.

If a Femme came in here and posted the same content. My response and reaction would be the same. I would have come in and posted it. If a Femme says to me. You know Julie, if you were just a little bit more domestic (a lot actually) and cooked and cleaned for your butch... You might be able to hold on to one long enough. True that! But the fact of the matter... I am not domestic and I certainly am not going to change the character of my being to keep a butch. Some might. And some garner pleasure for the acts of domestication. I do not. Regardless if it makes my Butch feel love and adored. I am not doing it. Anymore than I want my Butch to do something for me that does not garner them pleasure.

What every Butch should know!

What should every Butch know?
Simple - Do not tell me how I am supposed to feel.
Just as I would NEVER tell you how you are supposed to feel.

Honoring my sisters is huge for me. For me. I know they have my back. I know I have their backs. I know I would go to the depths of the world for some of these sisters of mine. I know they would do the same for me. I do hope Butches have similar relationships with their Butch Sisters/Brothers.

Julie

Julie, thank you for answering. I think I understand what you are saying but I'm not sure it solves my confusion. Let me try it this way:

You wrote..."Being a Femme's Femme is more important than any Butch on this planet."

To me, this says, in order to be a Femme's Femme all Femmes are require to believe the sisterhood is more important than any Butch/partner/spouse. It sounds to be as a general statement alerting Femme's as to expected/required behavior of being a Femme's Femme. Is that different from just being a Femme?

Now this might not be what you meant. It might just be how I interpreted it.

Then you said:

"What should every Butch know?
Simple - Do not tell me how I am supposed to feel.
Just as I would NEVER tell you how you are supposed to feel."

And, now I am confused because the first statement, to me, indicated you were saying this is how a Femme was supposed to feel/believe/act in order to be a Femme's Femme.

And then you are saying we shouldnt ever tell someone else how to feel.

Are you clarifying what you meant to say initially i.e. this is just your take on it? Or are these 2 different standards? Or, have I now totally confused myself even more?