Long Distance - How do you cope?

[BullDog]

Beloved that is so sweet. Thank you. I got very lucky. No worries on the pressure.

When it comes to going from LDR to living together I do think it's important to take your time and really make sure you are ready to take the next step. However, I don't think x number of months or years is what will make it successful. People can be LDR for a very long time and still not work out. Until you live with someone you are not really going to know how things will be day to day, no matter how honest someone is. If possible, have long visits before moving. That's the closest thing you can have I think.

[Silverseastar]

I'm not sure who it was that mentioned the 3 month mark as denoting who a person really shows up to be but I couldn't agree more. Recently I've been saying to people that 3-4 months seems like the cutoff point when I knew a relationship wasn't going to work. Both local and LD.

Maybe because when I have done LD it has involved a fair amount of skype time which gives face to face time.

In any case by 4 months someone's true nature really comes forward. Until then it's just a best foot forward scenario imho.

[Novelafemme]

Originally Posted by BullDog

Beloved that is so sweet. Thank you. I got very lucky. No worries on the pressure.

When it comes to going from LDR to living together I do think it's important to take your time and really make sure you are ready to take the next step. However, I don't think x number of months or years is what will make it successful. People can be LDR for a very long time and still not work out. Until you live with someone you are not really going to know how things will be day to day, no matter how honest someone is. If possible, have long visits before moving. That's the closest thing you can have I think.

I couldn't agree more with Bulldog. When it comes to any sort of relationship, whether it's long distance or not, you need to experience so many scenarios with your love interest before making any life changing decisions. Travel together, visit friends and relatives together, spend more that just a long weekend with one another...I hate to make it sound like you are constantly interviewing each other, but that is kind of what it's like. Especially if you have a nagging concern. And then there are those rare situations where you just know it's right and it is meant to be and all the pieces fall together on their own and in their own time.

When you fall hard and fast for each other it is so incredibly easy to push those red flag moments to the back of your mind because your heart and emotions are working overtime telling you otherwise. Time is the only thing that can bring someone's true colors to the surface, and in time you won't be so emotionally charged that you ignore the molehills that really are mountains. If something doesn't feel right or good you owe it to the other person to say, hey...i need some time and space to get a little clarity and do some soul searching before me move forward. If it's meant to be then the other person will be more than willing to allow you just that.

Good luck to all those embarking on this journey! It can work if you work it together.