PTSD and Trauma recovery

[Canela]

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

I am sorry Lady Jewel is upset. Someone who is recovering from PTSD should not be a moderator or whatever if you ask me. I even pmed Lady Jewel telling her that I could understood how she felt about the chat. Little did I know it was already going. I feel like a fool, idiot, jackass, and very much silenced. Silenced from my so-called friends who always tell me that they have my back. Right.

If anyone knows me they know I love the show "The Sopranos". I feel like if anyone here even thought of joining the chat who wasn't invited, those who were already in the chat, they conspired against me who stood in their way because of posting about getting into the chat. Hmmmmm, I wonder if it has to do with the rummors that went around about me, or the photographs that someone posted.

I just wonder about the time when my father held a knife to my throat, or when he beat me up, or when he beat me and locked me in a closet, or when xyz and I made the phone calls if my so called friends here would even pick up the phone. The same now as it was then. Nobody wants to get involved because I am not in the click. I am not worthy. I am stupid. I am this or that. I am just not...

The silence is deafening.

You are wonderfully and fearfully made Andrew...you are a son of God and no one can take that away from you. To heck with the unhappy people who try to hurt you. They can't steal your joy Andrew...that comes from within, it's your light from your higher power and it's something they can never take from you.

I'm here--and I hear you, Andrew.

Sending you BIG HUGE HUGS!!!!