PTSD and Trauma recovery

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by LittleShug

Our Deepest Fear


Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give
other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

Marianne Williamson--from her book, "A Return To Love"

Thank you Shug! Powerful poem I needed to read today.

I struggle with the first 2 stanzas of the poem. Who am I?

Who am I to have an opinion?
Who am I to set boundaries?
Who am I to need boundaries?
Who am I to tell someone else how I expect to be treated?
Who am I to expect anything?
Who am I to have human reactions?
Who am I to hurt?
Who am I to have feelings?
Who am I to feel afraid?
Who am I to be horrified?
Who am I to take up space?
Who am I to scream?
Who am I to defend myself?
Who am I to have nightmares?
Who am I?

Being brought up in a full on trauma situation I was taught that to think I am brilliant, beautiful, funny, smart or talented is tooting my own horn and thinking too much of myself.

I like the last part of the poem especially where it says that if we let our light shine it gives other people permission to do the same. That is so powerful.

We are here, we are alive, we are deserving, we are stronger than we ever thought was possible. Let's shine!

I was talking to Cynthia (my G/F) about how bad things that have happened to me as an adult are kind of blips for me...yeah, it sucked but I got through it. I think those of us who have faced the worst things imaginable happening to us and survived have a different way of being. Our coping mechanisms (twisted as some of them may be) are in place to deal with crisis and we deal well.

It's the every day stuff....the noises, the knock on the door, the ring of the phone, a look, a lie.....that mess me up.

I'm rambling.....