Showing scars: what are your relationship fears?

[thedivahrrrself]

Originally Posted by guihong

I've been fortunate that I've had relatively healthy partners, save a couple. I think overall, I've become much healthier and thus more able to attract someone healthy, too. So that's the good news.

The "bad" news: I worry about losing my independence and my ability to think for myself. I worked so hard to get that back, that I'm afraid to get into another relationship and lose that. I don't think I compromise well.

I'm afraid of becoming somone's "half", like "Someone and partner", instead of a full person on my own. I'm afraid of always being referred to in context to my partner.

I'm also afraid of being found lacking in the intimacy department (I mean physical, as well as emotional). I don't enjoy a lot of activities that are somewhat "standard" (if that's the right word). An intimate relationship might just be too much. I hope not, though.

It sounds to me like you are afraid of losing your identity, of compromising too much. Why do you think that is?

I'm a believer that there is someone out there for everyone. You just have to be open, have realistic expectations, accept and love yourself. Maybe I'm an optimist, but I think that being realistic, but positively so, is what makes successful people. So keep up your hope. You deserve someone who is just right for you.