Showing scars: what are your relationship fears?

[thedivahrrrself]

Originally Posted by Angeltoes

I was actually going to delete my comment because I think it came across wrong. You're right about Toddlers and Tiaras and the way parents sexualize and objectify their own daughters is sad.

I don't know how you meant it, but I think it's a very valid point, especially for femmes.

I was reading another thread about attraction and a butch talked about how much they liked a femme's long hair, and I'm thinking I used to be a short-haired femme when I was younger. In the last few years I grew it out just to see how I'd look with it. People would try to tell me I wasn't really femme. My short hair didn't match their idea of "femme". I was just as feminine (maybe more so) then as I am now, but my attractiveness was minimized in their eyes because they consider long hair "feminine". My short hair was super cute, but it was hard not to internalize that sense of being unattractive.

I see a lot of femmes and hetero women who, particularly as they age, strive for their younger or skinnier looks to the point of taking extreme measures, and it makes me sad. Because these are strong, smart, beautiful women who are measuring themselves against someone else's standard. I with there was a way to help people see their own beauty.