Help me write this - discussion of gender dynamics in lesbian community

[spritzerJ]

Originally Posted by femmsational

I'm not sure how your discussion groups work but maybe something along the lines of "your journey to you?" So people can talk about their feelings and what worked for them getting to their own place. That might help open the lines of dialogue rather than create an us vs them scenario???

Just one thought I had.



Good Luck,
julie

I'm with femmsational on this one... getting people to think of their own journey/presentation as unique and worthwhile and then being open to others experiences is a useful tool for perspective taking.

In my own journey to femme and then the butch/femme dynamic in a relationship I had a few stops with other people. Each person had their own presentation/way of being. Just as I would expect individuals to have because they are individuals. Some of the underlying tension in our relationships was related to my at times unnamed desire for a dynamic that: neither of us knew about, one didn't like and was outspoken or even the other persons desire to make the other be more like something they weren't.

At times the language and views/judgements of our community (queer and straight) helped shape how we (the 2 people in the relationship) proceeded or tried to function with our feelings (how we saw ourselves, what we couldn't name). So I can understand the need to talk about this.

I often wonder without creating a platform/meeting/dissertation how to get out to folks as an open minded person. Sometimes the urge strikes me to raise my hand, wave it a bit and give a general reminder... Hay folks if you want an open discussion about something tweaking you hit me up. Struggling with judgements of yourself and others? Lets chat.

Asking questions is the best small way I have come up with when with people in passing or in the moment. Why they feel that way, what got them to that point, why not another point of view... etc.