New sex partner=new toys? Your opinion

[meridiantoo]

Originally Posted by pinkgeek

Disclaimer: I ask this in a most respectful fashion and in no way am I attacking you. I'm by nature a very curious person (ask anyone on BFP who knows me IRL) and articulate, respectful discourse with people who don't share my points of view, politics, etc. is incredibly interesting and valuable to me. Additionally I use the term "queer(s)" in it's academic meaning: to include the whole gender/LGBT spectrum.

Question: How do you reconcile being wherever you place yourself on the queer spectrum and being OK with/embracing of patriarchal and puritanical ideologies that have been and continue to be responsible for the subjugation, stratification and repression of minorities, very specifically targeting women and queers.

(I'm assuming because this is a butch/femme site that you do place yourself on the LGBT spectrum and don't identify as str8.)

<---nerdy pink is nerdy

Okay, back with a fresh pair of eyes and clearer thoughts...

I take the systems as a whole and realize they are limited and flawed because humans are limited and flawed (this is just my opinion, not tossing this toward or on anyone else - ).

I don't accept/support/overlook what has been done in the course of humanity to minorities/children/animals/Earth/those deemed 'lesser than' for whatever reason. I can't reconcile it to the point of being comfortable with living in a system that harms/disregards others. However, I am certain that if there were matriarchal systems that dominated history, there would be other problems too. I don't think female/feminine identities are without flaws/inherent limits. Both male and female as we know it are balancing agents. One alone is not enough and there is a 'checks and balances' undercurrent to life. Call it whatever you want (karma, justice)- it seems to be there to some degree. Without rambling too much more, I just think the answer to the crimes against humanity/life in general does not lie in male persecution or male subjugation. Two wrongs do not make a right. I am not a feminist as such. I don't think women should rule. I think men/women should rule fairly and in harmony.

I go to church and am saddened that my sexuality is an issue. But, I also understand where people are coming from and I do not think God condemns me. If people do, that's on them, in the end. Getting weary with the battle does mean I have, at this point in my life, set aside formal church settings for the most part. It's a flawed system. But, still one I accept as my truth.

[Soon]

Originally Posted by meridiantoo

I just think the answer to the crimes against humanity/life in general does not lie in male persecution or male subjugation. Two wrongs do not make a right. I am not a feminist as such. I don't think women should rule.

Feminism is not about subjugating and/or persecuting men (or even creating a system where "women...rule"--although more women in positions of power would help)--it is about working towards social, economic, sexual, political (etc.) equality in a world that is far from it.

[The_Lady_Snow]

I don't understand how being a feminist = hating men..


Originally Posted by Bard
I know when I broke up with my ex( Gooses mother) she um went into the spare bedroom where I was staying and found my harness and a new cock that I had purchased before we even broke up she cut them both up and left it on my bed.
------------------------------------------
Originally Posted by meridian

I'm sure there are valid reasons for doing this, but not many. Yowsie.

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meridian, there is no validity for taking someone's personal property and ruining it NONE.. That kind of shit is gross and there are some deep issues going on there.

I am pretty sure we can safely say that by her cutting up the equipment did NOT stop Bard from seeking another relationship/s...

Destroying property isn't cool, justifiable or ok no matter what, if you're (general) cray cray is showing that bad and you (general) are starting to get that creeping thought of destroying stuff that belongs to a lover, ex, or ANYONE perhaps a trip to the therapist is due...

WOW!! I can't believe I read what I read just now!!!

[meridiantoo]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

I don't understand how being a feminist = hating men..


Originally Posted by Bard
I know when I broke up with my ex( Gooses mother) she um went into the spare bedroom where I was staying and found my harness and a new cock that I had purchased before we even broke up she cut them both up and left it on my bed.
------------------------------------------
Originally Posted by meridian

I'm sure there are valid reasons for doing this, but not many. Yowsie.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

meridian, there is no validity for taking someone's personal property and ruining it NONE.. That kind of shit is gross and there are some deep issues going on there.

I am pretty sure we can safely say that by her cutting up the equipment did NOT stop Bard from seeking another relationship/s...

Destroying property isn't cool, justifiable or ok no matter what, if you're (general) cray cray is showing that bad and you (general) are starting to get that creeping thought of destroying stuff that belongs to a lover, ex, or ANYONE perhaps a trip to the therapist is due...

WOW!! I can't believe I read what I read just now!!!

You rape a woman, you earn that. That's my point of view. There are reasons I can see women do it. I personally would not. But, I also would not judge someone who was raped and did that in angst.

Just my 2 cents....

I don't go around chopping cock up for personal pleasure.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by meridiantoo

You rape a woman, you earn that. That's my point of view. There are reasons I can see women do it. I personally would not. But, I also would not judge someone who was raped and did that in angst.

Just my 2 cents....

I don't go around chopping cock up for personal pleasure.

.

I'm confused when did rape come into the convo?

[Bard]

Originally Posted by meridiantoo

You rape a woman, you earn that. That's my point of view. There are reasons I can see women do it. I personally would not. But, I also would not judge someone who was raped and did that in angst.

Just my 2 cents....

I don't go around chopping cock up for personal pleasure.

uh she did it for spite so that i would not be able to fuck another woman her words not mine i am gonna bow out of this topic now

[meridiantoo]

Originally Posted by Bard

uh she did it for spite so that i would not be able to fuck another woman her words not mine i am gonna bow out of this topic now

Right..not saying you raped her. Saying that would be one of the few viable reasons I can see someone doing that, that's all.

My head hurts!

[CherylNYC]

Originally Posted by Bard

uh she did it for spite so that i would not be able to fuck another woman her words not mine i am gonna bow out of this topic now

Thank you for being so patient with a very inflammatory post, Bard.

Meridian, I'm shocked that you would jump all the way to rape in the middle of this conversation. That was really inappropriate.

Rape is a reason to prosecute someone for a violent crime, not carte blanche to respond in kind.

[meridiantoo]

Originally Posted by CherylNYC

Thank you for being so patient with a very inflammatory post, Bard.

Meridian, I'm shocked that you would jump all the way to rape in the middle of this conversation. That was really inappropriate.

I'm not sure what you mean by inflammatory. I was thinking of 2 separate posts when I made that response to Bard. I in no way meant to insinuate that Bard had raped anyone, nor that it was even a thought Bard had misconducted in any way. I was trying to address 2 things at once - 1 being that there is very rare occasion to ever think of doing something like that (butchering someone's stuff, specifically their equipment/toys/cock/not sure what word you prefer here), which would be rape, and 2 being that I thought it was inappropriate of her ex to do that, considering it wasn't a situation of rape. I did not explain myself well, so I can understand the jump seemed extreme and unwarranted. However, my intentions were benign and meant to both allude to Bard's ex as way off course in her actions as well as express understanding that there are instances, though rare, where it would be understandable for someone to react in such a way. I could just as easily have chosen murder as an understandable reason for someone destroying property. As I said, instances for that are rarely excusable. It's like that song by a country female vocalist who slashes her boyfriend's car because he cheats on her. I don't think that's appropriate. But, many would say an eye for an eye. To each their own.

Bard, I apologize if my response brought you into that negative light. It was not my desire to do so.

[Hollylane]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

I don't understand how being a feminist = hating men..


Originally Posted by Bard
I know when I broke up with my ex( Gooses mother) she um went into the spare bedroom where I was staying and found my harness and a new cock that I had purchased before we even broke up she cut them both up and left it on my bed.
------------------------------------------
Originally Posted by meridian

I'm sure there are valid reasons for doing this, but not many. Yowsie.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

meridian, there is no validity for taking someone's personal property and ruining it NONE.. That kind of shit is gross and there are some deep issues going on there.

I am pretty sure we can safely say that by her cutting up the equipment did NOT stop Bard from seeking another relationship/s...

Destroying property isn't cool, justifiable or ok no matter what, if you're (general) cray cray is showing that bad and you (general) are starting to get that creeping thought of destroying stuff that belongs to a lover, ex, or ANYONE perhaps a trip to the therapist is due...

WOW!! I can't believe I read what I read just now!!!

I agree. I tend to become very concerned about someone's state of mind when they start to feel the need to destroy property in a symbolic way. To me, the idea of needing to destroy something and then present it to that person, feels violent, and controlling. Yuck.

[meridiantoo]

Originally Posted by Soon

Feminism is not about subjugating and/or persecuting men (or even creating a system where "women...rule"--although more women in positions of power would help)--it is about working towards social, economic, sexual, political (etc.) equality in a world that is far from it.

I don't think true feminism is either. Neither is true masculinism/patriarchy. It's the perverted and skewed reality of how that plays out in history that makes it wrong, in my perspective. I am all for supporting/advancing women's rights. I did not make that statement to infer all feminism is male-bashing. I meant to imply that if it becomes that extreme, then I'm not on board with it.

[~ocean]

buy a bushel and a peck and let her snuggle into your neck ~~

[pinkgeek]

What is true feminism or are you referring to how you see feminism? Someone with a better grounding in women's studies than I do, I'd love an answer re: the concept of "true feminism". Feel free to PM so we don't go off topic much further.

Contemporary feminism as I understand it has to do with women having the freedom and choice to do ANYTHING a man does and nothing to do with make bashing.

Meri- the rest of my comments I'll send in a message to you so we don't inadvertently run too far off the original topic.

Originally Posted by meridiantoo

I don't think true feminism is either. Neither is true masculinism/patriarchy. It's the perverted and skewed reality of how that plays out in history that makes it wrong, in my perspective. I am all for supporting/advancing women's rights. I did not make that statement to infer all feminism is male-bashing. I meant to imply that if it becomes that extreme, then I'm not on board with it.