Just When You Thought it Was Safe to Check Your Email...

[always2late]

I went through something like this with my ex-wife. It took a friend to help me see the truth...that her contact with me was a way of maintaining control over me. She knew exactly what buttons to push to get my attention, and to keep me engaged. It didn't matter what kind of attention she got from me, as long as she got it, and as long as she was able to remain in some aspect of my life. If I ever tried to completely cut her out of my life, then the suicidal threats began. Behavior such as this has nothing to do with love, or desire, it is all about control, manipulation, and maintaining a presence. If someone truly loves you, but knows that the two of you are not going to be together for whatever reason, they do not try to keep you from moving on. To love someone means you want their happiness, even if that happiness is not with you.