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Old 01-29-2010, 02:37 AM   #141
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A fish bit me once

Why is the Planet addictive?

Because children of all ages need their mother.............


Have you ever seen a rainbow cast by the full moon?

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Old 02-01-2010, 02:06 AM   #142
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OK yes I have seen one it was enthralling.

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
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Old 06-07-2017, 12:16 AM   #143
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no it comes from the waterfall
why birds don't dance the polka?
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Old 06-18-2017, 06:43 AM   #144
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no it comes from the waterfall
why birds don't dance the polka?
Because they can't find a good accordian player.

When will pigs fly?
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Old 06-18-2017, 08:10 AM   #145
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Because they can't find a good accordian player.

When will pigs fly?
When the price of airline tickets come down...

When will love arrive?
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Old 06-18-2017, 05:46 PM   #146
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When the price of airline tickets come down...

When will love arrive?
In 2 days, I ordered it on prime Amazon............

Why do the birds go on singing?
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Old 06-19-2017, 08:11 AM   #147
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In 2 days, I ordered it on prime Amazon............

Why do the birds go on singing?
Because,,,,,, it's the end of the world. *chirp, chirp*

BUT..... why do birds suddenly appear???
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Old 06-19-2017, 09:50 AM   #148
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Because,,,,,, it's the end of the world. *chirp, chirp*

BUT..... why do birds suddenly appear???
Because I'm near.....................

Why do fools fall in love?
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Old 06-19-2017, 09:59 AM   #149
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Because they can't find a good accordian player.

When will pigs fly?
This absolutely cracked me up to no end...........
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Old 06-19-2017, 10:26 AM   #150
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Because I'm near.....................

Why do fools fall in love?
ooooooh, oooooooh, oooooooh,,,,,,,,

"I've got a pair of brand new roller skates, you've got the key to me.... "


What is your favorite form of transportation???
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Old 06-19-2017, 07:32 PM   #151
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ooooooh, oooooooh, oooooooh,,,,,,,,

"I've got a pair of brand new roller skates, you've got the key to me.... "


What is your favorite form of transportation???
My broom (especially now with gas prices rising for summer driving)...................

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
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Old 06-19-2017, 07:40 PM   #152
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My broom (especially now with gas prices rising for summer driving)...................

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
It depends on the size of the marmota monax and if he/she slept well the night before.

What would you do if you are about to hold a speech or lecture but it slippes you mind what it was all about?
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Old 06-20-2017, 04:41 AM   #153
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It depends on the size of the marmota monax and if he/she slept well the night before.

What would you do if you are about to hold a speech or lecture but it slippes you mind what it was all about?
I'd fake trip & fall and upon recovering claim Amnesia!

Why are there no 'B' batteries?
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Old 06-20-2017, 10:39 AM   #154
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I'd fake trip & fall and upon recovering claim Amnesia!

Why are there no 'B' batteries?
Bees lead an incredible life, not even knowing that they can't fly, so they simply fly anyway. It's possibly an allegory to draw upon that fact alone because AAA batteries are incredibly busy supplying power, thus sparing B batteries an lifetime of unexpected hardships.


Why do dance clubs close in the early hours of the morning???
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Old 06-21-2017, 08:12 PM   #155
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Bees lead an incredible life, not even knowing that they can't fly, so they simply fly anyway. It's possibly an allegory to draw upon that fact alone because AAA batteries are incredibly busy supplying power, thus sparing B batteries an lifetime of unexpected hardships.


Why do dance clubs close in the early hours of the morning???
Because they want to get to bed before the alarm goes off..................

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'?
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Old 06-21-2017, 10:12 PM   #156
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Because they want to get to bed before the alarm goes off..................

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'?
Oh, I think the blame wholly belongs to both the IRS, Wall Street, and Banking institutions: it's pretty taxing and has consistently confused people for ages.

Why is NAFTA called The North American Free Trade Agreement when there's nothing "free" about it at all???
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Old 06-22-2017, 07:53 AM   #157
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Why is NAFTA called The North American Free Trade Agreement when there's nothing "free" about it at all???
It wasn't enough to be happy that Dark Side of the Moon made Pink Floyd bazillionaires, so handy bipartisan politicians created their own cash cow and called it Dark Side of the Sun.

What's the difference between Superman and Trampoline man???
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Old 06-23-2017, 10:00 AM   #158
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It wasn't enough to be happy that Dark Side of the Moon made Pink Floyd bazillionaires, so handy bipartisan politicians created their own cash cow and called it Dark Side of the Sun.

What's the difference between Superman and Trampoline man???
Apparently the cape.

Why do the fur balls, also known as cats think I am their furniture?
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Old 06-23-2017, 10:56 AM   #159
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Apparently the cape.

Why do the fur balls, also known as cats think I am their furniture?
Because for years you've let them "walk" all over you!

What was the best thing before sliced bread?
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Old 06-23-2017, 02:44 PM   #160
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Because for years you've let them "walk" all over you!

What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Naturally, it has always been Santa Claus.

Santa is the undefeated champion in all the world.

Because of this fact alone, bread is second only to Santa Claus. *LOL*

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