Being female within Butch

[Tuff Stuff]

Yeah,I can relate to alot of these post.I always wear mens clothes,undies,socks ect.As a kid i'd wear boys clothes "shrug".Never had a problem buying feminine nappies,it was like a diaper to me.
I never wore make-up are used womens beauty products,although I do see myself as a woman/a female.
I seem to want the latest men products that I see in magazines or on tv.
I like being in my skin,I know what I am and who I am blah blah blah.

Interesting thread.

[Celtglen]

I have to say that the years (10) I spent in technology were the worst for me being an out Butch Dyke; it got worse when Seattlegf and I got together and I put some framed pictures of us on my desk.
Jealousy is a green monster.

Before those years I ran my own businesses (photography and video production, landscaping and auto repair) so what I wore or who I was fucking never was an issue. My clothing has always been mens clothing - I was 6' by the time I was in High School.

As far as the feminine products (bras included) I have always had an issue - the bras were and still are uncomfortable especially when repairing cars - I am rather well 'endowed' and took to not wearing a bra so I could flop my girls off to my arm pits so I would shimmy under cars - otherwise it were a lost cause.

In my 30s I wore a bit of lipgloss and bought L'oreal, designer mens clothing and wore Channel #5. Once I got sick (38) and the bucks stopped coming in those fell by the wayside.

In my instance, Butch is what I am by society's definition (strait and queer), I have reclaimed the word Dyke, taken it back from Society and have made it my own and a positive description -- my strait friends cannot figure that out and they still say I shouldn't say that about myself...which makes me cringe because we have an incredible number of Dykes of Distinction in history.

Hygiene products; I buy no aluminum Tom's of Vermont, L'oreal Blue for greying hair (why look at the sparkle!) and Dial mountain fresh because I love the Mtns.

I stopped bleeding a decade ago (YAY!) but I hated every cycle for 30 years and the bulky nappies and impossible Tampons of "old"; be happy someone finally got them right--you youngens have no idea how it felt to ride a horse w/o a saddle every frickin month!

Celtglen

[Ascot]

I had a funny moment yesterday that made this thread come to mind.

My buddy Jake has two young sons, one 4 and the other a cutie pie of 2. I met them for the first time yesterday when we all got together for lunch. Near the end of our meal, the older little guy leans close to his father and in a stage whisper asks, "Is she a dad?" Jake and I shared a look and then burst out laughing. I think it was kind of a genius question, full of insight that a lot of adults lack. This wee being seemed fully aware of the fact that I am female, even as I exhibit a degree of masculinity that had him go with 'dad' instead of 'mom'. More to the point, it seemed very much as though that was a completely reasonable and acceptable thing to him.

It gives me hope that perhaps we are finally starting to get to a place of such things truly not mattering. (I'm not entirely certain that 'mattering' is a real word)

[Bèsame*]

I love this story! There is hope 😃

Originally Posted by Ascot

I had a funny moment yesterday that made this thread come to mind.

My buddy Jake has two young sons, one 4 and the other a cutie pie of 2. I met them for the first time yesterday when we all got together for lunch. Near the end of our meal, the older little guy leans close to his father and in a stage whisper asks, "Is she a dad?" Jake and I shared a look and then burst out laughing. I think it was kind of a genius question, full of insight that a lot of adults lack. This wee being seemed fully aware of the fact that I am female, even as I exhibit a degree of masculinity that had him go with 'dad' instead of 'mom'. More to the point, it seemed very much as though that was a completely reasonable and acceptable thing to him.

It gives me hope that perhaps we are finally starting to get to a place of such things truly not mattering. (I'm not entirely certain that 'mattering' is a real word)

[Ascot]

Originally Posted by Bèsame*

I love this story! There is hope 😃

Yeah, I'm definitely beginning to think there is hope. What I didn't say in the previous post on this topic is that after we stopped laughing, I told the little guy "I don't have any kids, so no, I'm not a dad." Neither Jake nor all I felt any need at all to speak to the gender thing.

I cannot remember if I've mentioned this in another post, but a couple summers ago I was at a cookout at a friend's house (a couple consisting of a male and female partner) when out of the blue their three-year-old daughter, who I've known since she was born, started calling me "uncle Lise". She found her way to that all on her own because that's what made sense to her. I've heard her use "she" in reference to me, so I know she knows I'm female, and I love her for coming up with an amalgam that feels right.

[Ascot]

Speaking of vitamins, this irked me. It is no doubt an irrational irk, but it exists nonetheless.

I purchased a different brand of multivitamin (Nature Made Women's Alive!) the other day and got around to taking the first one this morning. My first thought was, "Damn, these are big" and right on the heels of that was, "Are you fucking kidding me?". They are a god awful, wan, lavendery pinkish color. It's a ghastly color. I often wonder how something like this can come to be, because you know that at least a couple people had to agree that that color was a good idea for it to actually happen, right? More than the visual assault, however, is the issue that this company must believe that women want societally dictated feminine colors pervading every aspect of their lives to the degree that even vitamins must fall in line.

I know, I know...first world problems.

It still irks me.

[Celtglen]

Kids seem like they better understand gender than we did in the 50s and 60s--etc.

[Kobi]

Originally Posted by Celtglen

Kids seem like they better understand gender than we did in the 50s and 60s--etc.

I dont know that kids understand it better. People have been reaping the benefits from what was started with the womens movement in the 60's and 70's for over 50 years now.

The movement was about breaking free from the stereotypes of and the societal expectations of what it meant to be a female. As a result, females/women were empowered to redefine life for themselves. It affected everything - clothing choices, career choices, reproductive choices, sexual choices, how to express femaleness, etc.

Each successive generation has added to what was started a long time ago.

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Celtglen

Kids seem like they better understand gender than we did in the 50s and 60s--etc.

There's far more exposure to different gender and sex presentations nowadays. Kids are so open and accepting until adults tell them differently.

[Ascot]

The other day i had a lunch meeting with my boss and was pleasantly surprised when he told me that he learns a lot from me. It is not unusual for us to talk politics, art, gender issues, etc. He said that by conversing with me, he has come to have a better understanding of and apprecitation for the relationship dynamics of his lesbian niece and her wife. I think I am the only Butch he's had so much access to, and I applaud him for taking the opportunity to pose the questions he does. He's come a long way for being a self avowed "older white guy who is politically moderate/conservative and kind of churchy." He also gets a kick out of my crisp white shirts (thanks Mom for teaching me you can never go wrong with one) and tells me I'm very Bostonian.

[cathexis]

Need a little advice, please.
Have facial hair (light red chin, moustache, and side burns), just moved to a small closeted town in the NY North Country, and not the tallest womon on Earth (4'10"). Am usually not able to project tons of confidence (tend to walk more like prey).
After the backstory, would you feel comfortable letting your facial hair grow out in this situation?
Lover is one of THOSE fabulous Alpha Butches that light up a room with their energy when entering, but don't want Her feeling obligated to defend me...She would!