That first meet

[C0LLETTE]

Originally Posted by imperfect_cupcake

I have a question for those who date from on line...

Say you have talked to someone for about two weeks (that my usual before meeting someone. I like to get a feel for the person before meeting up and I don't like leaving it too long as I don't want it to get ahead of its self).

You both agree there is a nice click on line, you've had three or four great conversations through email or text and a phone call or two... and you decide to meet up to see how that is.

Describe to me what you normally do.

Tell me what would be your ideal meet up.

I'm a fairly "nice looking", reasonably well educated, reasonably well-cultured, well educated, older woman. I'm good humoured and a pleasant dinner companion. I sometimes arrange to meet people in my travels: largely because I'm interested in a local viewpoint on where they live; how they live there and why; and sometimes because I find them particularly intriguing. I generally make it clear that I'm just passing through and my life will remain elsewhere.

Twice now, in many many encounters, this has led to people making the arduous journey to Canada to live with me... for long relationships... I have never been moved to do the same and likely never will. My business and long time interests keep me here and I've seldom wanted for local companionship. I enjoy those I meet, however briefly, but I do not lie or make promises I'm essentially unlikely to keep.

[Tuff Stuff]

I did this a few times,online dating i mean.None of the relationships lasted over 4-6 months.
I am a huge flirt with people in person,online i'm kind of shy *shrugs*

Okay,lets say I met someone online today and after a few cell calls we decide to meet in real time.

On a first date I bring humor to the table and I never touch on the first date..and just say I couldn't resist and tried to get a kiss,she has the right to do two things to me..slap me or bring out the taser.Because I believe you don't have the right to touch her on a first date unless she gives you permission.

Dinner would be any where she wants to go,a movie,a dance or go have a drink.That drink could just be coffee.

Expect flowers on the first date,cause i'm wired like that...candy to..if she drinks..add a bottle of wine..but i'm not out to get her drunk.

Conversation would be about her,how she views this mad world we live in.

The first date is all about her...also,I never went to visit their homes until the 3rd or 4th date.I would stay at a hotel or motel.Talking about my previous online partners.

But the actually meeting with these past online lovers was purely for sex,our online conversations were how they wanted to be seduced.Oh,they would talk about family and their daily lives...but in the end,the hook ups were mainly for sex.After the sex got old,there was never really anything to talk about..so we'd part ways and tried to stay in touch but it never lead to anything much afterwards.

[Shystonefem]

I have met 2 people in RL from two different websites.

Usually, just lunch or dinner or drinks, etc.... I don't hook up for sex, its just how I am, I guess.

I can totally see getting to know another person through phone calls, emails, Facebook, etc... I can even see visiting the other person, but, I don't see me in an LDR for a long time.

I am not the type of person that is satisfied with just a conversation and meeting up a few times a year. Although it does have it obvious perks (time for myself, my dogs, family, work, etc), it's just not who I am.

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Tuff Stuff

On a first date I bring humor to the table and I never touch on the first date..and just say I couldn't resist and tried to get a kiss,she has the right to do two things to me..slap me or bring out the taser.Because I believe you don't have the right to touch her on a first date unless she gives you permission.

Excellent point. No one has the right to put their hands on another....whether in jest or affectionately or anyhow....no matter when it is....without that person's expressed permission.

As for first meets, it's a date. If I get gussied up and make more than the usual effort to look appealing, it's a date. It may be a lunch date but it's still a date.

As for the level of intimacy, it depends on how the communication has gone previously. I may not want anything more than a hug and kiss on the cheek or I may be thinking about the best way to get out of my skirt without falling and launching myself headfirst into the wall. There's nothing seductive or sexy about a mild concussion or sheetrock in your hair.

I have boundaries but not a long laundry list of rules. What happens, happens. I try to be smart and safe but I try not to limit my experiences either.

[DapperButch]

It has been a long time since I have gone online to meet someone new.

My deal is pretty simple. I only date within a 30 mile radius. I meet for a drink or coffee. If we are interested in each other, we can then go to dinner, for a walk, etc. Like cupcake said, I meet within a couple of emails/conversations. Misperceptions/expectations as to who the person will be can come into play if it goes on much longer than that.

Sexual contact is not off the table.

It has been close to 15 years since I have put an ad/met someone online, but I like the medium very much. Quick sorting.

P.S. cupcake, I think it is laughable that you even need to make the monogamous comment, especially when I think about the other stories you have told of first dates. Where do you find these people?? They always want to swallow you whole (and not in a good way!).

[JDeere]

I meet when I feel the time is right. No set time for me.

I have met quite a few from online and yeah no thanks. Too many screws loose.

I meet for drinks and to talk. Sex, if it happens it happens. However at the time I was meeting folks, I had been single for a very long time so and was not ready to settle down.

I may be off the market now but I'm not ready to settle down still, I want to sow my wild oats still before I turn 45.

[imperfect_cupcake]

Originally Posted by DapperButch

It has been a long time since I have gone online to meet someone new.

My deal is pretty simple. I only date within a 30 mile radius. I meet for a drink or coffee. If we are interested in each other, we can then go to dinner, for a walk, etc. Like cupcake said, I meet within a couple of emails/conversations. Misperceptions/expectations as to who the person will be can come into play if it goes on much longer than that.

Sexual contact is not off the table.

It has been close to 15 years since I have put an ad/met someone online, but I like the medium very much. Quick sorting.

P.S. cupcake, I think it is laughable that you even need to make the monogamous comment, especially when I think about the other stories you have told of first dates. Where do you find these people?? They always want to swallow you whole (and not in a good way!).

I'm not sure. Sometimes I wonder myself.

But then I'm a completely shit first date!

[CherryWine]

I am curious to know what everyone's thoughts are on the appropriate way to greet someone upon first meeting him/her. Let's say you've only exchanged a few messages, you seem to dig each other, and you've decided to meet up for dinner in order to get to know one another better.

I don't particularly care to hug someone whom I have never met in person before and haven't gotten to know well enough, yet. Not right off the bat, anyway. Hugging is intimate, especially if it is a full frontal hug...ha. A handshake almost seems too business-like for meeting a possible romantic interest, though.

Thoughts?

[A. Spectre]

Originally Posted by CherryWine

I am curious to know what everyone's thoughts are on the appropriate way to greet someone upon first meeting him/her. Let's say you've only exchanged a few messages, you seem to dig each other, and you've decided to meet up for dinner in order to get to know one another better.

I don't particularly care to hug someone whom I have never met in person before and haven't gotten to know well enough, yet. Not right off the bat, anyway. Hugging is intimate, especially if it is a full frontal hug...ha. A handshake almost seems too business-like for meeting a possible romantic interest, though.

Thoughts?

A light kiss on a cheek (face) seems very polite, not too intimate and not too aloof.

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by CherryWine

I am curious to know what everyone's thoughts are on the appropriate way to greet someone upon first meeting him/her. Let's say you've only exchanged a few messages, you seem to dig each other, and you've decided to meet up for dinner in order to get to know one another better.

I don't particularly care to hug someone whom I have never met in person before and haven't gotten to know well enough, yet. Not right off the bat, anyway. Hugging is intimate, especially if it is a full frontal hug...ha. A handshake almost seems too business-like for meeting a possible romantic interest, though.

Thoughts?

How about a sideways hug like the ones teachers have to give? Reserved, politically correct and legal affection in its prime.

[Ascot]

Originally Posted by Gemme

There's nothing seductive or sexy about a mild concussion or sheetrock in your hair.

I'm thinking this is the most humorous thing I've read here in quite a while.