Where do I meet potential dates??

[Kelt]

I wish I could figure out how to "Date" without ending up in a relationship. Which I guess is usually the point. Hmm..

Just someone I could take out for dinner or weekend excursions or simply have fun at events with.

The meetup idea is a good one; I went to a couple in Berkely while I was still in Ca and it was a good low pressure/interest based way to meet folks. I've been traveling too much of late for it, but now that things are calming down I think I'll try it in my new(ish) city soon. While I enjoy doing things on my own, and do, there are some things that are more fun when you have someone with you.

I agree that femme invisibility sucks. Especially for butches! (Can't pick you out of a crowd easily)

[Rockinonahigh]

If anyone figures this out please post, I gave it up years ago.

[imperfect_cupcake]

I have put up a rather helpful post

Also, face book offers a bajillion groups to join. I've personally joined about 12 different local social meet up and event groups, 6 of which are dyke-queer focus, so I can have conversation with locals, know of local events within reach and when they happen. Most of these things are not advertised in papers or postered or fliers handed out. People don't do that much anymore - the way they advertise groups and events is through social media.

So joining facebook groups has been really helpful.

I type in search words and find a group to join that local and dyke. Then I look on the members list for someone who looks butch- then go to their page and look up all of their social groups because they might have some great groups I don't know about. I read about those groups, join the ones I like the sound of and repeat the process.

That way I find out a) where the butches and queers are actually going b) seeing where the femmes and girlies are going too. I found a couple femme friendship nights because of this.

It does take some research and a steep learning curve, and time, but if one is willing to try, it's great to learn the new ways social groups are coming together.

[Hominid]

Originally Posted by imperfect_cupcake

I have put up a rather helpful post

Also, face book offers a bajillion groups to join. I've personally joined about 12 different local social meet up and event groups, 6 of which are dyke-queer focus, so I can have conversation with locals, know of local events within reach and when they happen. Most of these things are not advertised in papers or postered or fliers handed out. People don't do that much anymore - the way they advertise groups and events is through social media.

So joining facebook groups has been really helpful.

I type in search words and find a group to join that local and dyke. Then I look on the members list for someone who looks butch- then go to their page and look up all of their social groups because they might have some great groups I don't know about. I read about those groups, join the ones I like the sound of and repeat the process.

That way I find out a) where the butches and queers are actually going b) seeing where the femmes and girlies are going too. I found a couple femme friendship nights because of this.

It does take some research and a steep learning curve, and time, but if one is willing to try, it's great to learn the new ways social groups are coming together.

That's a great idea also! But ... my FB page is mostly work connections (okay, and I have no social life) - and most don't know I'm trans, so I don't want to join things that are queer (no shame, I don't go out of my way to hide it, but it's kind of private as well). I'll bet there is a privacy setting that will disallow others from seeing my groups - have to check that out.

[imperfect_cupcake]

There is also having a FB page that is your own. I do that. There is my career facebook page which has my real name, and my private life facebook page which is not my real name and shows *nothing* publicly. Solves everything.

[Kelt]

Originally Posted by imperfect_cupcake

I have put up a rather helpful post

Also, face book offers a bajillion groups to join. I've personally joined about 12 different local social meet up and event groups, 6 of which are dyke-queer focus, so I can have conversation with locals, know of local events within reach and when they happen. Most of these things are not advertised in papers or postered or fliers handed out. People don't do that much anymore - the way they advertise groups and events is through social media.

So joining facebook groups has been really helpful.

I type in search words and find a group to join that local and dyke. Then I look on the members list for someone who looks butch- then go to their page and look up all of their social groups because they might have some great groups I don't know about. I read about those groups, join the ones I like the sound of and repeat the process.

That way I find out a) where the butches and queers are actually going b) seeing where the femmes and girlies are going too. I found a couple femme friendship nights because of this.

It does take some research and a steep learning curve, and time, but if one is willing to try, it's great to learn the new ways social groups are coming together.

Originally Posted by imperfect_cupcake

There is also having a FB page that is your own. I do that. There is my career facebook page which has my real name, and my private life facebook page which is not my real name and shows *nothing* publicly. Solves everything.

This raises a question with me. I'm well aware of how social media and particularly facebook are now pretty much the default way that events, especially for sub-cultures, are promoted. I'm not on facebook nor am I comfortable with putting my real name out there to be snagged by random searches from distant relatives or old school acquaintances. Never mind the glaring security issues (as I see it).

I *think* I would enjoy participating in some of the groups I've seen mentioned on other sites and also to have better access to the local scene. My question then, since I've never been on it, is how do you go about setting up an alias? I was under the impression that an alias is somehow routed out or proof was required.

Yes, I live under a rock.

[cinnamongrrl]

my gram said I should meet someone at church or in a library....neither has ever happened....