me , myself and my social stigma

[TruTexan]

Hi Mormegil,
I think everyone here has said bits and pieces of the things I would have said.
Especially on the part about dodging bullets. I think you have dodged a lot of bullets and sometimes we dodge a lot of bullets until we hit the target one so to speak. I think the person for you is out there, you just need to get out there and meet more people and let them find you. Meetup groups are a great way to meet new people to be friends with first before dipping your toes out on a date. Do YOU, the best YOU and let them find you amongst the rest of the group. Enjoy your time being single and that person will find you. Just get out there and mingle a bit so they can find you.

[Daisy Chain]

Personally I would consider it an honor to be someones first.

In fact I would rather be someones first than be in the hands of some self absorbed polished sexologist....reeling off all the text book `sex phrases`, predictably going through the gears of their well rehearsed generic foreplay repertoire and building to a finale enacted so often it has become impersonal.

Why does it have to be, get, set go, both get exactly where they feel they deserve to be, marks out of ten, how was it for me postmortems and is it worth another encounter.

Oh no, far better to take time, have no schedule, make it precious and personnel over time, not one individual session{for want of a better word}. There is nothing sexier than feeling someone has time and interest to really know and understand the person they are making love to, not necessarily what exactly they are going to do, be tentative, a little nervous, falter a little....just want me, all of me, for as long as it takes.

Thats all folks !

Daisy

[Electrocell]

It's hard enough meeting people and getting to know them for a lot of people, but to add your anxiety disorder too the mix it must really be hard . I worked with a guy that had anxiety not sure if it was a social or what kind but he had to be on medication just to work.

I wish you girls or anyone who has this good luck. Maybe you should start your own online social network for people whom have the same systems you have. Then maybe you could find someone who understands what you are going through. Keep your chin up and remember you are someone special because you are you.

[Mormegil]

Thanks for the positive responses. As to where i met the women , some were locals on a dating site. And the one that I was just recently intrested in was at the lgbt church I attend.

I dont go to church all the time , i force myself to go to try and socialize. Its hard for me to go because all of the people cause me alot of anxiety even though they are nice. So i wont be attending service for awhile , but i have started volunteering to groundskeep. I work alone but thats ok.

I have been trying to force myself to socialize for the past few years. But ithe anxiety never completely goes away.

And i have been working on myself. The work on my anxiety is a lifelong task . I tried joining a local group to learn archery , which is a intrest. but the anxiety was to much and i had to leave. I practice calligraphy but thats solo.