Showing scars: what are your relationship fears?

[Electrocell]

I find that I try to stay away from people that demand things of me. Had an ex of ten years would demand I do things and instead of being grateful for what I did would just demand something else of me. When I was doing it she would stand there and tell me how to do to do it. I'm one of these people it doesn't matter how you get the job done as long as the end results are right. If you have ideas fine, then tell me before not after I'm in the middle of the task ,when I have my own ideas figured out on how I'm going to proceed with a project. I'm doing the work after all.

[JDeere]

Fear of abuse! That is all that needs to be said on that one!

[cassiopeia67]

My relationship fears are someone who needs me in their life specifically for the benefit of financial gain. Another is being cheated on, that has happened to me more than once. To be honest, that is why I am single to this day (since 2012).

[Mel C.]

Baggage...
I think most of my baggage is related to self-esteem. I'm afraid of being the only person "in" the relationship. I'm afraid that I won't be enough....funny enough, smart enough, wealthy enough, young enough, thin enough, etc. I'm afraid that I will be abandoned. I'm afraid that I will be financially or emotionally abused. I think I am afraid of relationships in general

As for how to deal with the baggage in a new relationship, I haven't reached that level of enlightenment yet. I do try to be honest and upfront but I am still trying to figure out how much is too much and when is too soon.

[bright_arrow]

For the first time in my life, I have zero relationship fears. We talk about everything. I don't have to worry when he is texting (rare as it is) if it's an ex or another girl stepping over bounds. I know where we stand, how he feels about me, our plans for the future, everything.

Growing up I had body image issues, depression issues, fidelity issues. Girlfriends dumping me for boyfriends but wanting to still be FWB, a girlfriend who convinced me I needed diet pills and a strict food regime to be more attractive, partners who would spend more time online than with me whether it was gaming or talking to other people. I've felt not worthy enough, not pretty enough, not wanted, always waiting for the shoe to drop, for something, anything to happen and lose it all. You know, general insecurities I guess.

I am an introvert, I like my alone time and sometimes it is necessary, but my partner is understanding of that. I've always worried it would feel a partner feel rejected but it is necessary for my mental health, for our relationship. I need recharge time, whether it is mindlessly binging Netlflix or cuddling or sitting and reading for hours or just some long, slow, loving sexy time. If I can't get that, any relationship I am in is doomed. Sometimes I just need to quiet my mind, sometimes I am just feeling down/sad/'off', sometimes I just really want to read a book I am sucked into or I become a bitch, LOL.

So yeah. Current relationship fears are non-existent and it still amazes me somedays. I never looked into it so deep before, and now it's like a lightbulb has gone off

[TL1]

I didn't want to admit it but I had a pretty big fear of abandonment. Also a lot of insecurities. I took time and found a content spot within myself. Things are much better now and I'm happy.

Trust though.... I think I will always be on guard to a certain extent in that area. Not to a point of insanity but I keep my eyes open.

[JDeere]

I'm seeing a pattern, alot of us fear being abandoned.