How about butch and butch?

[fever]

I see that Jane Bond has recently come to this site, and certainly has some strong opinions. But, instead of bashing her, perhaps our more senior members could guide her how to talk on this particular site. A few senior members seem to enjoy getting the pot stirred, and I am glad that Jane Bond isn't backing down.

However, JB, some femmes don't expect the Butch to pay for things all the time, like to mow the lawn ourselves, although, having help with heavy items, or light items for that matter, are always appreciated. lol As far as withholding sex, that doesn't just happen to butches. It happens in an unhealthy relationship.

Perhaps you just need to look at the types of femmes you are attracted to, and adjust that checklist.

[Medusa]

Folks-

We are getting reported posts for this thread.

This thread is not in the Red Zone and therefore, this should not be a free-for-all for name-calling or getting too personal.
Please be civil to one another and do your best to choose language that is thoughtful and accessible.

Yes, this thread is going to bring up static for some folks but that doesn't mean we need to be cyber-slapping the shit out of each other.

Thanks,
Medusa aka Admin

[JDeere]

I agree with Homoe, it was very bad manners to make another date right in your face, Ia m sorry that happened.

However, who cares if its butch/butch, femme/femme, etc, as long as it is between two conseual adults then it shouldn't matter.

I live by the 3 f's, If you AREN'T Financing, Fucking or Feeding me, then your opinion doesn't matter.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by JDeere

I agree with Homoe, it was very bad manners to make another date right in your face, Ia m sorry that happened.

However, who cares if its butch/butch, femme/femme, etc, as long as it is between two conseual adults then it shouldn't matter.

I live by the 3 f's, If you AREN'T Financing, Fucking or Feeding me, then your opinion doesn't matter.

See, I think that it is only the one I am fucking whose opinion matters.

My parents' opinion when they were financing and feeding me really didn't matter (maybe their rules, but not their opinions on me as a person).

Since then, I have financed and fed myself.

But, I do care about the opinion of those I fuck.

The end.

[JDeere]

Originally Posted by DapperButch

See, I think that it is only the one I am fucking whose opinion matters.

My parents' opinion when they were financing and feeding me really didn't matter (maybe their rules, but not their opinions on me as a person).

Since then, I have financed and fed myself.

But, I do care about the opinion of those I fuck.

The end.

It means that others opinions aka outsiders don't matter, not the people you are fucking, etc.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by JDeere

It means that others opinions aka outsiders don't matter, not the people you are fucking, etc.

I know, buddy, I was tired and in a quirky mood. I was just messing around.

[JDeere]

Originally Posted by DapperButch

I know, buddy, I was tired and in a quirky mood. I was just messing around.

Okay LOL!

[Jane Bond]

Originally Posted by fever

I see that Jane Bond has recently come to this site, and certainly has some strong opinions. But, instead of bashing her, perhaps our more senior members could guide her how to talk on this particular site. A few senior members seem to enjoy getting the pot stirred, and I am glad that Jane Bond isn't backing down.

However, JB, some femmes don't expect the Butch to pay for things all the time, like to mow the lawn ourselves, although, having help with heavy items, or light items for that matter, are always appreciated. lol As far as withholding sex, that doesn't just happen to butches. It happens in an unhealthy relationship.

Perhaps you just need to look at the types of femmes you are attracted to, and adjust that checklist.

Thanks Fever, I really appreciate it.
I hate to admit it, but I did most of my lesbian community & PC feminist stuff back in grad school and college, then I got a job, into a LTR and we both drifted away from the latest in Sapphic theory.
The femme behavior I described used a bit of hyperbole, because I had no idea this site was so stacked with PC police, Feminist volunteer editors and other literal types.
I don't back down easily if an issue is important and in real time, but a disagreeable website comment someone made would not make the list.
I am rather new here, but after a few comments, I felt like a thousand ducks had pecked me so I got lost for a while.
As memory serves, I've apologized to a few members whom I had offended, but I'd really prefer to speak my mind and make mistakes in order to learn the newest trends in BF relationships, even if I sound antiquated.
Teaching I like, lecturing, not so much.

[QueenofSmirks]

Originally Posted by Jane Bond

<snip> ... because I had no idea this site was so stacked with PC police, Feminist volunteer editors and other literal types.

Read: "I had no idea so many people on one website wouldn't put up with my chest-thumping, antiquated, bullshit ideas about how femmes should behave."

[JDeere]

Hmmmm I kinda wondered by what was meant by the PC police but I got my question answered!

Personally why does it matter it it's butch/butch, you can't help who you fall in love with or date, etc. Love is love.

[JDeere]

Chat has me thinking about this again!

So I am bumping the thread, lets talk!

[ClintB]

I've been attracted to butches as well as femmes and in two LTRs with other butches

I think it totally can work IF both are comfortable with themselves. Unfortunately, in the last there seemed to be a discomfort in not having someone to "validate" their butchness. I was definitely the softer of the two of us, and I came to see they were ashamed of me. Hid me from friends and family, yelled at and punished me if I knew or did anything better than them in the "masculine" spectrum. Desired a certain bedroom dynamic that they then felt guilty for because it wasn't consistent with how they thought they should be.

I learned to hide. I would rejoice for time at home alone- I like to refurbish old hand tools and would throw a big old party for myself when they left.... then rush to hid everything in the back of the shed when they returned.

We always wanted to be able to enjoying the interests we shared.... hunting, fishing, driving off-road, camping...but the sense of competition killed it all.


Guess what I'm saying, is I get the attraction, but I know there can be some complicated dynamic. Put two healthy and secure butches together... oh the fun that be had lol

[JDeere]

I still stand by my original statement, I may have to go back and re read it. I am attracted to whoever I am attracted to, femme,butch,mtf, ftm. I refuse to discriminate but to each their own on things.