Significant Age Gaps in Relationships

[Gayandgray]

We have a 26yr age difference between us, and it has never been a problem in the 25yrs that we have been together. Her children thought is was awful in the beginning and so did my mother. Funny thing is, my mom has been married and divorced several times, and my spouse's children have done the same, while the two of us have stayed together all this time. We never really talked about who would pass away first until she had her stroke. Actually, the age difference is coming in handy now because I have the energy and stamina to take care of her and the household. If we were closer in age it would probably be a lot harder, I'm sure. I always say the Goddess knew what she was doing when she brought us together!

[Blade]

I haven't been in a relationship with a huge age difference, it was only 8 yrs, but that was enough years to make me realize that I play better in my own age group.

I am not in a relationship at this time and wouldn't consider one with a big age difference. Maybe 4 or 5 years either way, usually younger.

I know people that it has worked for, and hope it continues to work for those here on BFP, but it's not for me.

Great topic!

[imperfect_cupcake]

I've been with someone 14 years younger who was more mature than me in many ways.
My flatmate right now is 30 and I'm 46 and she has figured things out that I only got two years ago.
I have been with people 15 years my senior and were much more emotionally immature than me. Or on par with me.

Basically, emotional level of understanding what you need to do, plus stage of life does NOT come gaurenteed at any age.

I wasn't ready to get married until I was 40. I didn't even think about buying a home for myself until last year (45). All I wanted to do until three years ago was travel and see the world. I didn't care about security or a stable life. I dated a 54 year old Butch a couple years ago that just wanted to live on a bus and roadie like she had always done. Very laid back and wicked sense of humour. But very different person to the 32 year old I dated who had a job programming AI softwear who just bought her own place and had just lost her first long term relationship of 12 years. But was hoping to get married again when the right person came along.

Some would call the second person more mature than the first.

To me they were mature in different ways.

I think after 12 years in the age gap, I'd start to get uncomfortable. I don't think 8 years is significant of a gap. Not at age 46.

[Rockinonahigh]

I have not done this ,but lots of my aunts and uncles and my grand parents had many years in age between them before marriage, any where from 15 to 20 years. I have two cousins that are married to there s.o. that are at least ten years diffrent in age. As far as I know they went through a lot to finely tie the knot and were in good happy marriages. I'm not against it and sure wouldn't have a problem at all with it.

[catlady]

My fiancee is 3 years older than me but not a significant age gap. I personally prefer women older than me I always ended up crushing on older people when I was younger anyway haha. I'm currently 22, but if my fiancee was 30-40 I wouldn't care.

[Glenn]

I think in future generations, love and diversity will rule, and age will not even be considered. A couple that fits well with each other, and are happy and content, will be the norm.

[imperfect_cupcake]

Originally Posted by catlady

My fiancee is 3 years older than me but not a significant age gap. I personally prefer women older than me I always ended up crushing on older people when I was younger anyway haha. I'm currently 22, but if my fiancee was 30-40 I wouldn't care.

I did that too when I was in my 20s. I was always into people 32-45. It was rare people took me seriously. Now that I'm 46 I understand why! It seemed very "unfair" at the time. But now I do understand why someone my age would find it very difficult to make a commitment to someone in their 20s.

But, once I reached about 38 ish, I started finding people my own age and slightly younger, as well as older, attractive. Now that I'm 46 I find all sorts of people with ages from 23 to 70 sexy. My closest girly friends have been 5-15 years younger than me since I was about 24. The youngest closest mate was bisexual feminist Irish girl I took in as a flatmate - I absolutely adored her and she was incredibly supportive. we hung out all the time in each other's beds pondering the complexity of life and drinking tea. I was 42 and she was 23. She made me laugh so hard I would come close to wetting myself.

My oldest close friend is 66. And a knock out intelligent femme who is full of grace, style and wicked dirty humour.

I think age does have to be taken into consideration for some things. But I think more emotional equinamity (is that a word?) and goals, values are more important. I feel like a misunderstood freak most of the time when I leave my little bubble of fabulous friends Ive made from all the places I've lived. I certainly don't fit in, in very many larger groups (to be honest I don't think many of us do, human condition) but I think when you find people who get you, and I mean *really* get you, age isn't really a dependant variable - at least not in my experience. And I certainly won't look a gift horse in the mouth because of age when it comes to that.

[Medusa]

I’m currently loving my 13-year age difference 😍