Significant Age Gaps in Relationships

[imperfect_cupcake]

Originally Posted by catlady

My fiancee is 3 years older than me but not a significant age gap. I personally prefer women older than me I always ended up crushing on older people when I was younger anyway haha. I'm currently 22, but if my fiancee was 30-40 I wouldn't care.

I did that too when I was in my 20s. I was always into people 32-45. It was rare people took me seriously. Now that I'm 46 I understand why! It seemed very "unfair" at the time. But now I do understand why someone my age would find it very difficult to make a commitment to someone in their 20s.

But, once I reached about 38 ish, I started finding people my own age and slightly younger, as well as older, attractive. Now that I'm 46 I find all sorts of people with ages from 23 to 70 sexy. My closest girly friends have been 5-15 years younger than me since I was about 24. The youngest closest mate was bisexual feminist Irish girl I took in as a flatmate - I absolutely adored her and she was incredibly supportive. we hung out all the time in each other's beds pondering the complexity of life and drinking tea. I was 42 and she was 23. She made me laugh so hard I would come close to wetting myself.

My oldest close friend is 66. And a knock out intelligent femme who is full of grace, style and wicked dirty humour.

I think age does have to be taken into consideration for some things. But I think more emotional equinamity (is that a word?) and goals, values are more important. I feel like a misunderstood freak most of the time when I leave my little bubble of fabulous friends Ive made from all the places I've lived. I certainly don't fit in, in very many larger groups (to be honest I don't think many of us do, human condition) but I think when you find people who get you, and I mean *really* get you, age isn't really a dependant variable - at least not in my experience. And I certainly won't look a gift horse in the mouth because of age when it comes to that.

[Medusa]

I’m currently loving my 13-year age difference 😍

[Lyte]

My previous girl friend was 10 years younger which at first felt a little odd but we meshed really well in a lot of ways. Occasionally, I'm still approached by a younger ... but now they're like... 15 - 20 - 22 years younger! I'm thinking.... really? You do know how old I am... right? Iol I'm very flattered by their interest. It's wonderful.

I too must be attracted to the younger folks because all my friends are quite a bit younger ... 10 years or more. But... the thought of such an age difference in a romantic relationship... does give me pause. I think... even if there was mutual interest... I'm not sure I'd pursue it.

Sorry... this has turned into a bit if a confessional but it has been on my mind for the last year or so.

[highfemmetop]

My girlfriend is 10 years older than me, when we first started dating a lot of her friends gave her a really hard time about how much younger I am but they got over it once they got to know me. Age has never been a problem between the two of us though, in fact when we met I thought she was much younger than she is and she thought I was much older. Anyway almost five years later we're still tight as ever. I've always dated people a bit older than me but this is the biggest age gap either of us has had with a partner and our longest relationship so we must be doing something right. When it works it just works, ya know?

[CherylNYC]

I always sought out older women when I was dating in my 20s. I preferred women who were 10-20 years older. Those relationships worked well enough until they didn't. Now that I'm in my 50s I wouldn't dream of dating anyone that much younger than I am. I'm still attracted to older women, but now they're 5- 10 years older. Or they're at least my age.

I was recently approached by a 23 year old at the dyke bar. I was incredulous as she flirted hard with me. I finally said, "You know I'm old enough to be your grandma, right?". She was undeterred, but nothing about that situation was ever going to work for me. I wouldn't judge another for doing it, (I think), but just the thought of dating a young woman in her 20s makes me feel ridiculous. I can't even articulate why.

[Gemme]

I tend to gravitate towards older partners and, for me, that has worked better than partnering with younger folks. I've been in a couple of serious relationships with younger folks with a 6-7 year age gap and neither has worked for me for a variety of reasons but I think people that are older than me are thinking about longevity and companionship and what it takes to function through the day to day minutiae of life and that's very appealing to me.

[Kätzchen]

I think sometimes that age differences might play an role in the longevity of any type of relationship. The best relationships I've ever enjoyed? I've noticed we were close in age (within a couple of years age difference).

I've also had partners who were ten or more years older than me. As far as dating or marital types of an relationship, I actually think the closer we are in age works best for me.