How to hypnotize a Butch...

[Admin]

Originally Posted by Sassy_dee

I am completely outraged!

I cannot believe that after Morningstar ( yes a lovely member of OUR community ) apologized TWICE for posting something SOME people find offensive that she was still beat up over it. So it becomes a free for all?
Lets all pretend to be therapists and *counsel* the poster. WTF !!!!! Must be nice to live in glass houses.

I see LOTS of things done in the name of humor that are offensive, IMO.
Hell Wanda Sykes offended the hell out of me last night, I didn't beat her up because it was not funny IN MY OPINION. Some people probably thought she was hilarious.

I see LOTS of posts that I find offensive on ALL of the BF sites.. so I skip over them. I don't beat up the person who posted it! If its "not my cup of tea" I skip over it and I do LOTS of skipping.

Seeing that causes rape and sexual abuse? WTF is that about? I assure you that seeing that video does not *turn* someone into a rapist.

Morningstar I am very sorry this happened to you and I do believe if you were one of the *cool kids * this would NOT have happened to you.

Please don't stop trying to bring lighthearted humor to us. I find you a breath of fresh air among those of us that are wound up just too goddamn tight

Let's not escalate this experience to "outrage" or an insistence that "seeing that causes rape" (because that is NOT what was said at ALL.)

It should be seen as an act of respect and love that people who felt offended were willing to tell Morningstar how they felt without anger, malice, or holier-than-thou. I see people wanting to connect here - extending a hand to say "Help me understand you". THAT is powerful.

We will also not be "skipping over" sexism on this site. We will be working together as a community to combat it.

I also want to comment on this "cool kids" thing. Morningstar IS a "cool kid" in my book. She is a funny, thoughtful, warm person and I dont think we are doing her any service by implying that she is not just as valid or important as everyone else on this site.
We are NOT NOT NOT going to start building this high-school club in our heads where people start insisting that anyone who doesnt agree with them is a "cool kid" and thus, immune from being asked to explain themselves.
Every single person on this site is fucking awesome, there isnt a single person here who is better than or worth more than anyone else BUT if we say something that someone is finding offensive, then we should ALL be willing to answer for why we said it. Myself included.

We all make mistakes. I think pretty highly of anyone who is willing to say "Hey, my bad" and take the chance to learn from that experience.
I also want to make sure that I am clear when I say that nobody asked Morningstar to apologize for anything, they asked her to explain why she felt it was funny. There is a HUGE difference there. Asking for an apology says, "Hey, you OWE me something" and asking for an explanation says, "I respect you and want to hear what you have to say".

[Softly]

[Arwen]

Originally Posted by Admin

I also want to comment on this "cool kids" thing. Morningstar IS a "cool kid" in my book. She is a funny, thoughtful, warm person and I dont think we are doing her any service by implying that she is not just as valid or important as everyone else on this site.
We are NOT NOT NOT going to start building this high-school club in our heads where people start insisting that anyone who doesnt agree with them is a "cool kid" and thus, immune from being asked to explain themselves.
Every single person on this site is fucking awesome, there isnt a single person here who is better than or worth more than anyone else BUT if we say something that someone is finding offensive, then we should ALL be willing to answer for why we said it. Myself included.

Medusa, this was very well said. I want to thank you. As someone who has had that "cool kid" epitaph used against me as a way of marginalizing me, thank you a thousand times for addressing that.

Just because someone posts a lot or has an opinion that others agree with does not make them a "cool kid". It makes them someone who expresses themselves verbally.

I could go on about this subject and bare a lot of my soul, but right now I am not feeling safe because of this comment--so I won't.

Why is it that in an effort to protect (and does Barb need protection?) someone, we have to attack others.