Random Thoughts

Jedi · 05-13-2010, 09:15 PM

...is killing me. I'm not as young as I used to be. My knees aer killing me. what a hard floor. OMG! This is crazy...and even a Sat shift.....yikes....I'm gonna be dead before this job is done. And there's gonna be nothing I can do about it.

Jedi · 05-27-2010, 01:01 PM

It's stranger than fiction
How you've decayed
It must be so lonely
Lost within your ways

You're born alone, you die alone
The rest is yours to fill the gap
The world goes on without you here
Adjust or just collapse

Is this what you wanted to be
Alone standing by yourself
Is this all you wanted to be
Or was that a cry for help
By yourself, by yourself, by yourself

Verbal grenades
You throw in vain
I can't believe you'd stoop so low
Of all the things you took away
I miss my mind the most

Is this what you wanted to be
Alone standing by yourself
Is this all you wanted to be
Or was that a cry for help
By yourself, by yourself, by yourself

Is this what you wanted to be
Alone standing by yourself
Is this all you wanted to be
Or was that a cry for help!

It's stranger than fiction
How you've decayed
It must be so lonely
Lost within your ways

Jedi · 06-05-2010, 12:53 PM

I know your life is empty
And you hate to face this world alone
So you're searching for an angel
Someone who can make you whole
I can not save you
I can't even save myself
So just save yourself

I know that you've been damaged
Your soul has suffered such abuse
But I am not your savior
I am just as fucked as you
I am just as fucked as you
I can not save you
I can't even save myself
So just save yourself

Please don't take pity on me
Please don't take pity on me
Please don't take pity on me
Please don't take pity on me

My life has been a nightmare
My soul is fractured to the bone
And if I must be lonely, I think I'd rather be alone
I think I'd rather be alone

You can not save me
You can't even save yourself
I can not save you
I can't even save myself
Save yourself
So just save yourself

Jedi · 10-11-2010, 10:56 PM

I miss you! I have no other way to say it. I just wish everything could be ok again. I'm really not sure what happened. I know you were holding things together so well but now I feel like you're in the witness protection program. It just isn't the same without you. Life doesn't feel the same without you there. And I know that is really a way that logically I should not feel, but I do. It just isn't the same without you. The only way I know how to put it. And, I hope beyond hope, that today is the day I will get to hear from you. But the days and weeks and months are adding up now and all I want to know is that you're ok........and that I can tell you you're ok. I know how it feels to be alone like this. I don't much like it.

LipstickLola · 10-12-2010, 12:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JediMaster

I miss you! I have no other way to say it. I just wish everything could be ok again. I'm really not sure what happened. I know you were holding things together so well but now I feel like you're in the witness protection program. It just isn't the same without you. Life doesn't feel the same without you there. And I know that is really a way that logically I should not feel, but I do. It just isn't the same without you. The only way I know how to put it. And, I hope beyond hope, that today is the day I will get to hear from you. But the days and weeks and months are adding up now and all I want to know is that you're ok........and that I can tell you you're ok. I know how it feels to be alone like this. I don't much like it.

Jedi, feeling the exact same way about someone now gone from my life, and wishing (praying really) for another chance. The days, weeks, months, did add up, and maybe enough time has passed? who knows? Shall I keep my torch a burning??

Maybe a bit longer.

Jedi · 10-13-2010, 09:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LipstickLola

Jedi, feeling the exact same way about someone now gone from my life, and wishing (praying really) for another chance. The days, weeks, months, did add up, and maybe enough time has passed? who knows? Shall I keep my torch a burning??

Maybe a bit longer.

Lola,
I truly believe that if you have faith and you show God you are willing to make the changes for which she is "worthy" that the opportunity will present itself and God will give you back that with which you love. I just did. After months of praying and being depressed and fighting it. I did. And I have to show God this. My new group of friends prayed with me the other night that I find a job. They want to go to church with me....and on the same note they wanna do karaoke and have beers and get silly. They are healthy friends.....I made that change. I let myself go out and face the world. It wasn't easy. And my behavior wasn't always good. But it's better than it was. I'm not perfect. At least that is how I feel about it. I was making positive changes in my life after mourning a great loss...but this one wouldn't be a permanent loss. It's nice to know that someone has some mutual feelings on this journey. I am definitely not alone.....although that was how it felt at the time. I wasn't about to let go.

I hope that makes a little sense to you....because really......only YOU can decide for yourself how long you let the torch burn.

Namaste,

Jedi

LipstickLola · 10-13-2010, 09:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JediMaster

Lola,
I truly believe that if you have faith and you show God you are willing to make the changes for which she is "worthy" that the opportunity will present itself and God will give you back that with which you love. I just did. After months of praying and being depressed and fighting it. I did. And I have to show God this. My new group of friends prayed with me the other night that I find a job. They want to go to church with me....and on the same note they wanna do karaoke and have beers and get silly. They are healthy friends.....I made that change. I let myself go out and face the world. It wasn't easy. And my behavior wasn't always good. But it's better than it was. I'm not perfect. At least that is how I feel about it. I was making positive changes in my life after mourning a great loss...but this one wouldn't be a permanent loss. It's nice to know that someone has some mutual feelings on this journey. I am definitely not alone.....although that was how it felt at the time. I wasn't about to let go.

I hope that makes a little sense to you....because really......only YOU can decide for yourself how long you let the torch burn.

Namaste,

Jedi

Thank you. I believe

ox

05-13-2010, 09:15 PM	#1
Jedi Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: they are my world Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In a galaxy far, far away Posts: 959 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,002 Thanked 1,728 Times in 544 Posts Rep Power: 12678953	All this overtime... ...is killing me. I'm not as young as I used to be. My knees aer killing me. what a hard floor. OMG! This is crazy...and even a Sat shift.....yikes....I'm gonna be dead before this job is done. And there's gonna be nothing I can do about it.

05-27-2010, 01:01 PM	#2
Jedi Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: they are my world Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In a galaxy far, far away Posts: 959 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,002 Thanked 1,728 Times in 544 Posts Rep Power: 12678953	Stranger Than Fiction It's stranger than fiction How you've decayed It must be so lonely Lost within your ways You're born alone, you die alone The rest is yours to fill the gap The world goes on without you here Adjust or just collapse Is this what you wanted to be Alone standing by yourself Is this all you wanted to be Or was that a cry for help By yourself, by yourself, by yourself Verbal grenades You throw in vain I can't believe you'd stoop so low Of all the things you took away I miss my mind the most Is this what you wanted to be Alone standing by yourself Is this all you wanted to be Or was that a cry for help By yourself, by yourself, by yourself Is this what you wanted to be Alone standing by yourself Is this all you wanted to be Or was that a cry for help! It's stranger than fiction How you've decayed It must be so lonely Lost within your ways

06-05-2010, 12:53 PM	#3
Jedi Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: they are my world Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In a galaxy far, far away Posts: 959 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,002 Thanked 1,728 Times in 544 Posts Rep Power: 12678953	Stabbing Westward - Save Yourself I know your life is empty And you hate to face this world alone So you're searching for an angel Someone who can make you whole I can not save you I can't even save myself So just save yourself I know that you've been damaged Your soul has suffered such abuse But I am not your savior I am just as fucked as you I am just as fucked as you I can not save you I can't even save myself So just save yourself Please don't take pity on me Please don't take pity on me Please don't take pity on me Please don't take pity on me My life has been a nightmare My soul is fractured to the bone And if I must be lonely, I think I'd rather be alone I think I'd rather be alone You can not save me You can't even save yourself I can not save you I can't even save myself Save yourself So just save yourself

10-11-2010, 10:56 PM	#4
Jedi Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: they are my world Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In a galaxy far, far away Posts: 959 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,002 Thanked 1,728 Times in 544 Posts Rep Power: 12678953	I miss you!!!!! I miss you! I have no other way to say it. I just wish everything could be ok again. I'm really not sure what happened. I know you were holding things together so well but now I feel like you're in the witness protection program. It just isn't the same without you. Life doesn't feel the same without you there. And I know that is really a way that logically I should not feel, but I do. It just isn't the same without you. The only way I know how to put it. And, I hope beyond hope, that today is the day I will get to hear from you. But the days and weeks and months are adding up now and all I want to know is that you're ok........and that I can tell you you're ok. I know how it feels to be alone like this. I don't much like it.