Same Sex Marriage and Divorce

Greyson · 03-29-2016, 11:47 AM

Before legal same sex marriage became a reality I like many had various live in, long term partners. Yes the break ups were at times emotionally and psychologically painful but we could go our separate ways without having to go through the legal fight.

For me all of that changed when I bought a home with a partner. We saved money together and put in equal amounts and after moving to the SF Bay Area from my hometown of Los Angeles, I was a home owner for the first time in my life.

When it came time for the inevitable break up, it was nasty. Owning property with someone puts a whole new spin on things. We were not legally married but we did have a home and a small investment together. After that, I would never buy a big ticket item again with a "partner" unless we were legally married.

The irony of it all is now I am married and as a Grad student I cannot afford to buy a home or make long term financial investments. I admit it left me jaded a bit. I have to remember marriage for me, is not about a financial strategy of some sort.

introverted1 · 05-09-2017, 07:12 PM

I am now one full year (+) out of my divorce.

I honestly don't know how people move on to eventually marry again. The legal disentangling from a woman I adored, after sixteen plus years of togetherness was hands down the most soul killing thing I have ever experienced in my life.

I truly can't imagine taking that leap of faith on another, ever again.

The lawyers, judges, harsh words and cruelty were way too much for me to ever think about doing that again.

girl_dee · 05-19-2017, 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by introverted1

I am now one full year (+) out of my divorce.

I honestly don't know how people move on to eventually marry again. The legal disentangling from a woman I adored, after sixteen plus years of togetherness was hands down the most soul killing thing I have ever experienced in my life.

I truly can't imagine taking that leap of faith on another, ever again.

The lawyers, judges, harsh words and cruelty were way too much for me to ever think about doing that again.

i could have written this. Big hugs..

NavyButch · 05-19-2017, 04:45 PM

I have only been with one partner (9 years) that I asked to marry Me. We broke up while we were engaged. Even though we never formally tied the knot- we really did not need to for Me to feel the great sense of loss- and all that came with it.

The one thing that I have made sure of is that it would not leave Me jaded to the point of not letting My heart be given fully to another to the point of asking that person to marry Me.

At the very least, I still hold out hope that the person that is meant for Me in a long term sense comes into My life.. and if that happens and we want to become official in the marrying sense- I am still open to that.

JDeere · 05-20-2017, 10:30 PM

I am still not open to the idea of marriage, ever!

03-29-2016, 11:47 AM	#1
Greyson Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Transmasculine/Non-Binary Preferred Pronoun?: Hy (Pronounced He) Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: SF Bay Area Posts: 6,589 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,132 Thanked 8,146 Times in 2,005 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Before legal same sex marriage became a reality I like many had various live in, long term partners. Yes the break ups were at times emotionally and psychologically painful but we could go our separate ways without having to go through the legal fight. For me all of that changed when I bought a home with a partner. We saved money together and put in equal amounts and after moving to the SF Bay Area from my hometown of Los Angeles, I was a home owner for the first time in my life. When it came time for the inevitable break up, it was nasty. Owning property with someone puts a whole new spin on things. We were not legally married but we did have a home and a small investment together. After that, I would never buy a big ticket item again with a "partner" unless we were legally married. The irony of it all is now I am married and as a Grad student I cannot afford to buy a home or make long term financial investments. I admit it left me jaded a bit. I have to remember marriage for me, is not about a financial strategy of some sort. __________________ Sometimes you don't realize your own strength until you come face to face with your greatest weakness. - Susan Gale

05-09-2017, 07:12 PM	#2
introverted1 Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Join Date: Jun 2016 Location: introville Posts: 250 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 422 Thanked 740 Times in 212 Posts Rep Power: 7058202	I am now one full year (+) out of my divorce. I honestly don't know how people move on to eventually marry again. The legal disentangling from a woman I adored, after sixteen plus years of togetherness was hands down the most soul killing thing I have ever experienced in my life. I truly can't imagine taking that leap of faith on another, ever again. The lawyers, judges, harsh words and cruelty were way too much for me to ever think about doing that again.

05-19-2017, 04:45 PM	#4
NavyButch Timed Out - Identity Issues How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: Sir, Captain Join Date: Apr 2017 Location: Ashore Posts: 232 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 655 Thanked 742 Times in 195 Posts Rep Power: 0	I have only been with one partner (9 years) that I asked to marry Me. We broke up while we were engaged. Even though we never formally tied the knot- we really did not need to for Me to feel the great sense of loss- and all that came with it. The one thing that I have made sure of is that it would not leave Me jaded to the point of not letting My heart be given fully to another to the point of asking that person to marry Me. At the very least, I still hold out hope that the person that is meant for Me in a long term sense comes into My life.. and if that happens and we want to become official in the marrying sense- I am still open to that.

05-20-2017, 10:30 PM	#5
JDeere Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Transgender Preferred Pronoun?: He/him/his Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Jul 2014 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 17,752 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 31,018 Thanked 28,833 Times in 9,708 Posts Rep Power: 21474865	I am still not open to the idea of marriage, ever!