Corny jokes - Page 31

Kobi · 04-17-2016, 06:34 AM

Kobi · 04-26-2016, 09:38 AM

easygoingfemme · 04-26-2016, 09:48 AM

Wrang1er · 04-26-2016, 12:23 PM

How did the thread get to school?

The spool bus!

Kobi · 05-01-2016, 09:06 AM

Happy_Go_Lucky · 05-11-2016, 07:13 AM

An oldie but a goodie.

Jesse · 05-16-2016, 08:58 PM

What's green & fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree onto you?
.................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. ..........................................A pool table! Hey, the OP did ask for corny!

Stone-Butch · 05-16-2016, 10:21 PM

ONLY TWO BABIES ARE IN THE NURSERY AND WHEN THE NURSE GOES OUT THE ONE BABY LIFTS UP HIS HEAD AND IN BABY TALK SAYS HELLO NICE TO SEE YOU I AM A LITTLE BOY BABY. THE OTHER BABY LIFTS UP, LOOKS OVER AND SAYS, HEY, NICE TO MEET YOU TOO, I'M A LITTLE GIRL BABY. FIRST BABY SAYS EHY HOW DO I KNOW FOR SURE YOU ARE A LITTLE GIRL BABY. THE BABY LOOKS AROUND , PULLS DOWN HER BLANKET, PULLS UP HER NIGHTIE AND SAYS SEE......................... PINK BOOTIES

Jesse · 05-17-2016, 12:26 AM

How do trees get on the internet?......................they log in!

Happy_Go_Lucky · 06-01-2016, 08:54 AM

Wrang1er · 06-01-2016, 10:19 AM

Where does the catcher sit for dinner?

Behind the plate!

ksrainbow · 06-03-2016, 09:30 PM

What do you call a grumpy cow? Moo-dy!

What do you call cattle with a sense of humor? Laughing stock!

What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument? A Moo-sician!

Ks-

ksrainbow · 06-03-2016, 09:34 PM

There are these two country farmers milking their cows.

While the one farmer is milking, a fly zooms into the cows ear. The
cow starts jumping around, shaking its head and mooing. He tries to
steady the cow and suddenly it settles down. He looks down and sees the
fly swimming in the milk pail.

He turns to his friend and asks “Golly, how’d that fly get down there so
fast?”

His friend replies…

“IN ONE EAR AND OUT THE UDDER!”

Ks-

Orema · 07-18-2016, 03:20 AM

Happy_Go_Lucky · 07-20-2016, 08:27 AM

1. What do you call an out of control photographer? A loose Canon

2. You can tell if your gold jewelry is fake by leaving the room and listening to see if talks crap about you to the other jewelry.

3. Taking things literally can lead to confusion, but at the end of the day, 11:59.

femmeandstrong · 07-20-2016, 05:12 PM

here is one I made up after reading a biography about Louis XVI...

what did king Louis XVI say on busy days ?

a: "YOU JUST CAN'T GET AHEAD ( a head ) around here ! "

original corny goofy silliness from FAS

gotoseagrl · 07-21-2016, 05:28 PM

Why did the fish have a bad report card?

Because all his grades were under "C"

What kind of medicine did the bed take?

Pill-Os (Pillows)

Smiling · 07-21-2016, 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Happy_Go_Lucky

2. You can tell if your gold jewelry is fake by leaving the room and listening to see if talks crap about you to the other jewelry.

Hahahahahahaha@number 2.

Ahhh; reminds me of when I was a 15 year old, blinging, gold and diamond-encrusted tiara. It was a crazy time for all of us.

lol, wow; some of these jokes are really weird in here. I like that.

ksrainbow · 07-21-2016, 07:39 PM

On a shopping trip to the city, a backwoods farmer bought a 24-piece
jigsaw puzzle. He worked on it every night for two weeks. Finally,
the puzzle was finished.

“Look what I’ve done, Jess,” he said proudly to a visiting neighbor.

“That’s surely somethin’, Willard. How long it take you?”

“Only two weeks.”

“Never done a puzzle myself,” Jess said. “Is two weeks fast?”

“Darn tootin’,” Willard said. “Look at the box. It says, ‘From two
to four years.'”

Wrang1er · 07-28-2016, 07:46 AM

What does a nosey pepper do?

Get jalapeno business!

05-11-2016, 07:13 AM	#606
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 677 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,203 Thanked 3,365 Times in 627 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	An oldie but a goodie. __________________ Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.

05-16-2016, 08:58 PM	#607
Jesse Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Transguy Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Central West Coast of Florida Posts: 5,204 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 34,866 Thanked 17,782 Times in 3,940 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	What's green & fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree onto you? .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. ..........................................A pool table! Hey, the OP did ask for corny! __________________ “You’re so hard on yourself. Take a moment. Sit back. Marvel at your life: at the grief that softened you, at the heartache that widened you, at the suffering that strengthened you. Despite everything, you still grow. Be proud of this.”

05-16-2016, 10:21 PM	#608
Stone-Butch Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Stonebutch Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Canada Posts: 3,709 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,344 Thanked 9,404 Times in 3,069 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Cute but corny ONLY TWO BABIES ARE IN THE NURSERY AND WHEN THE NURSE GOES OUT THE ONE BABY LIFTS UP HIS HEAD AND IN BABY TALK SAYS HELLO NICE TO SEE YOU I AM A LITTLE BOY BABY. THE OTHER BABY LIFTS UP, LOOKS OVER AND SAYS, HEY, NICE TO MEET YOU TOO, I'M A LITTLE GIRL BABY. FIRST BABY SAYS EHY HOW DO I KNOW FOR SURE YOU ARE A LITTLE GIRL BABY. THE BABY LOOKS AROUND , PULLS DOWN HER BLANKET, PULLS UP HER NIGHTIE AND SAYS SEE......................... PINK BOOTIES

05-17-2016, 12:26 AM	#609
Jesse Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Transguy Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Central West Coast of Florida Posts: 5,204 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 34,866 Thanked 17,782 Times in 3,940 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	How do trees get on the internet?......................they log in! __________________ “You’re so hard on yourself. Take a moment. Sit back. Marvel at your life: at the grief that softened you, at the heartache that widened you, at the suffering that strengthened you. Despite everything, you still grow. Be proud of this.”

06-01-2016, 08:54 AM	#610
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 677 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,203 Thanked 3,365 Times in 627 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	__________________ Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.

04-17-2016, 06:34 AM	#601
Kobi Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Biological female. Lesbian. Relationship Status: Happy Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Hanging out in the Atlantic. Posts: 9,234 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,840 Thanked 34,617 Times in 7,640 Posts Rep Power: 21474860

04-26-2016, 09:38 AM	#602
Kobi Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Biological female. Lesbian. Relationship Status: Happy Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Hanging out in the Atlantic. Posts: 9,234 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,840 Thanked 34,617 Times in 7,640 Posts Rep Power: 21474860

04-26-2016, 09:48 AM	#603
easygoingfemme Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Lil' Miss Sassy Pants Preferred Pronoun?: She/her Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: My place by the river Posts: 3,692 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 7,023 Thanked 14,972 Times in 3,318 Posts Rep Power: 21474853

04-26-2016, 12:23 PM	#604
Wrang1er Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Me, myself and I Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Here Posts: 1,526 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,112 Thanked 7,043 Times in 1,354 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	How did the thread get to school? The spool bus!

05-01-2016, 09:06 AM	#605
Kobi Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Biological female. Lesbian. Relationship Status: Happy Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Hanging out in the Atlantic. Posts: 9,234 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,840 Thanked 34,617 Times in 7,640 Posts Rep Power: 21474860

06-01-2016, 10:19 AM	#611
Wrang1er Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Me, myself and I Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Here Posts: 1,526 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,112 Thanked 7,043 Times in 1,354 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	I love popsicle stick jokes! Where does the catcher sit for dinner? Behind the plate!

06-03-2016, 09:30 PM	#612
ksrainbow Member How Do You Identify?: Valued Relationship Status: UNO Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Kansas Posts: 773 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,759 Thanked 2,192 Times in 573 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Cows is Kansas... What do you call a grumpy cow? Moo-dy! What do you call cattle with a sense of humor? Laughing stock! What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument? A Moo-sician! Ks-

06-03-2016, 09:34 PM	#613
ksrainbow Member How Do You Identify?: Valued Relationship Status: UNO Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Kansas Posts: 773 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,759 Thanked 2,192 Times in 573 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Cows in Kansas... There are these two country farmers milking their cows. While the one farmer is milking, a fly zooms into the cows ear. The cow starts jumping around, shaking its head and mooing. He tries to steady the cow and suddenly it settles down. He looks down and sees the fly swimming in the milk pail. He turns to his friend and asks “Golly, how’d that fly get down there so fast?” His friend replies… “IN ONE EAR AND OUT THE UDDER!” Ks-

07-18-2016, 03:20 AM	#614
Orema Superlative Soul Sister How Do You Identify?: Lesbian stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Moving in a single file and sometimes a sinner. Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: Cottage of Content Posts: 13,688 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 41,476 Thanked 34,735 Times in 8,962 Posts Rep Power: 21474861

07-20-2016, 08:27 AM	#615
Happy_Go_Lucky Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Butch who desires femme company. Preferred Pronoun?: Handsome devil you. Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Anywhere I want to be Posts: 677 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,203 Thanked 3,365 Times in 627 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	1. What do you call an out of control photographer? A loose Canon 2. You can tell if your gold jewelry is fake by leaving the room and listening to see if talks crap about you to the other jewelry. 3. Taking things literally can lead to confusion, but at the end of the day, 11:59. __________________ Hair Pulling...... not just for preschoolers.

07-20-2016, 05:12 PM	#616
femmeandstrong Member How Do You Identify?: just me...imperfect but warm-hearted me Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: I am alright and still smiling - keeping my eyes on what lasts and matters Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: New England Posts: 325 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 352 Thanked 1,040 Times in 279 Posts Rep Power: 8187133	corny enoug ? here is one I made up after reading a biography about Louis XVI... what did king Louis XVI say on busy days ? a: "YOU JUST CAN'T GET AHEAD ( a head ) around here ! " original corny goofy silliness from FAS

07-21-2016, 05:28 PM	#617
gotoseagrl Senior Member How Do You Identify?: old-fashioned queer stone submissive girl Preferred Pronoun?: mermaid, very lucky babygirl Relationship Status: Saltwater mermaid ♡ Join Date: May 2010 Location: CA Posts: 2,209 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,192 Thanked 6,103 Times in 1,727 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Straight from the stick Why did the fish have a bad report card? Because all his grades were under "C" What kind of medicine did the bed take? Pill-Os (Pillows) __________________ Be still when you have nothing to say; when genuine passion moves you, say what you've got to say, and say it hot. D. H. Lawrence

07-21-2016, 07:39 PM	#619
ksrainbow Member How Do You Identify?: Valued Relationship Status: UNO Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Kansas Posts: 773 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,759 Thanked 2,192 Times in 573 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Puzzled... On a shopping trip to the city, a backwoods farmer bought a 24-piece jigsaw puzzle. He worked on it every night for two weeks. Finally, the puzzle was finished. “Look what I’ve done, Jess,” he said proudly to a visiting neighbor. “That’s surely somethin’, Willard. How long it take you?” “Only two weeks.” “Never done a puzzle myself,” Jess said. “Is two weeks fast?” “Darn tootin’,” Willard said. “Look at the box. It says, ‘From two to four years.'”

07-28-2016, 07:46 AM	#620
Wrang1er Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Me, myself and I Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Here Posts: 1,526 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,112 Thanked 7,043 Times in 1,354 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	What does a nosey pepper do? Get jalapeno business!