The Bathroom Issue

morningstar55 · 05-12-2016, 07:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BullDog

Great article Andrea. I stand with my transgender brothers and sisters whether these horrible laws effect me or not, but I know as a butch that I could be affected as well. It makes it less safe for all non-conforming gender people and doesn't make it any more safer for those who may be assumed to conform to their gender. And of course these laws and movements make it less safe as well beyond public bathrooms.

I agree with you BulDog ... that was a great article and made me think of the same exact incident of Electro and I in a bathroom 1 time washing our hands and talking and a lady walked in ... but walked back out when she seen us .. then look at the sign on the door ... but never came back in. .. but never said anything either that we know of.

*Anya* · 05-16-2016, 10:09 PM

Woman who donated hair to cancer patients mistaken for trans woman and harassed in bathroom

Has North Carolina’s anti-transgender bathroom bill created an environment of fear and paranoia in public restrooms? One woman named Aimee Toms, who was recently harassed in a Walmart restroom after someone mistook her for a transgender woman, believes that it has.

Danbury News Times reports that Toms was accosted by another woman while she was washing her hands in a Walmart bathroom in Danbury, Connecticut. Toms was wearing a baseball hat and she had very short hair because she recently donated her hair to a charity that makes wigs for children with cancer.

She said that she was approached by a complete stranger in the bathroom and was told that “You’re disgusting!” and “You don’t belong here!” The 22-year-old Toms posted a video on Facebook talking about how the experience opened her eyes to the abuse that transgender people face every day.

“After experiencing the discrimination they face firsthand, I cannot fathom the discrimination transgender people must face in a lifetime,” she said. “Can you imagine going out every day and having people tell you you should not be who you are or that people will not accept you as who you are?”

Toms also linked her experience back to the current debate over whether transgender people should be allowed to use the public bathrooms of the gender that they identify with.

http://www.rawstory.com/2016/05/woma...d-in-restroom/

DapperButch · 05-17-2016, 06:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Anya*

Woman who donated hair to cancer patients mistaken for trans woman and harassed in bathroom

Has North Carolina’s anti-transgender bathroom bill created an environment of fear and paranoia in public restrooms? One woman named Aimee Toms, who was recently harassed in a Walmart restroom after someone mistook her for a transgender woman, believes that it has.

Danbury News Times reports that Toms was accosted by another woman while she was washing her hands in a Walmart bathroom in Danbury, Connecticut. Toms was wearing a baseball hat and she had very short hair because she recently donated her hair to a charity that makes wigs for children with cancer.

She said that she was approached by a complete stranger in the bathroom and was told that “You’re disgusting!” and “You don’t belong here!” The 22-year-old Toms posted a video on Facebook talking about how the experience opened her eyes to the abuse that transgender people face every day.

“After experiencing the discrimination they face firsthand, I cannot fathom the discrimination transgender people must face in a lifetime,” she said. “Can you imagine going out every day and having people tell you you should not be who you are or that people will not accept you as who you are?”

Toms also linked her experience back to the current debate over whether transgender people should be allowed to use the public bathrooms of the gender that they identify with.

http://www.rawstory.com/2016/05/woma...d-in-restroom/

This just highlights for me again my concern that there will be an increase in harassment for gender non-conforming butches. I believe that it will level out and things will go back to "normal" (you know, the "normal" intensity/frequency of harassment butches are used to dealing with <eyeroll>), but I don't know how long that will be.

The other thing to keep in mind though, is that there really isn't any way to know if harassment in bathrooms is increasing or if it is just being publicized.

Too, I am wondering if butches who are often suspected as being male are feeling more anxious now when using bathrooms?

What is stupid about this whole thing, is that I can see the possibility of butches choosing to start using men's room just for safety. Guys don't notice.

I started using the men's room as soon as I started testosterone. It takes a while to see some changes happen. Point is, I looked the exact same. I wasn't hassled at all (unlike the women's room), and I was amazed at how much more relaxed I was. I used to have such crazy high anxiety going into the women's room. As soon as I started using the men's that all abated. I wish I had started using the men's restroom years before I decided that taking testosterone was right for me.

However, if I were a woman identified butch, I would be pissed off at the idea that using the men's room is the only way I would feel "safe". I would also feel like I was giving into the boxes of gender conformity that I had fought against my whole life.

morningstar55 · 05-17-2016, 07:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DapperButch

This just highlights for me again my concern that there will be an increase in harassment for gender non-conforming butches. I believe that it will level out and things will go back to "normal" (you know, the "normal" intensity/frequency of harassment butches are used to dealing with <eyeroll>), but I don't know how long that will be.

The other thing to keep in mind though, is that there really isn't any way to know if harassment in bathrooms is increasing or if it is just being publicized.

Too, I am wondering if butches who are often suspected as being male are feeling more anxious now when using bathrooms?

What is stupid about this whole thing, is that I can see the possibility of butches choosing to start using men's room just for safety. Guys don't notice.

I started using the men's room as soon as I started testosterone. It takes a while to see some changes happen. Point is, I looked the exact same. I wasn't hassled at all (unlike the women's room), and I was amazed at how much more relaxed I was. I used to have such crazy high anxiety going into the women's room. As soon as I started using the men's that all abated. I wish I had started using the men's restroom years before I decided that taking testosterone was right for me.

However, if I were a woman identified butch, I would be pissed off at the idea that using the men's room is the only way I would feel "safe". I would also feel like I was giving into the boxes of gender conformity that I had fought against my whole life.

living in the country up in this area where there is a lot of farms and some of them farm girls whom 100% straight .... but have masculine features ... I'm sure have or will run into a issue with this whole mess.

Andrea · 05-18-2016, 06:53 PM

Guard Charged with Assault After Confronting Transgender Woman Using Women's Restroom, Source Says

http://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/Guard-Charged-with-Assault-After-Confronting-Transgender-Woman-Using-Womens-Restroom-380010941.html

D.C. Police have charged a security guard at a Giant grocery store with simple assault after sources say she had a confrontation with a transgender woman who was trying to use the women's restroom.

The guard, who has not been identified, is a special police officer at a Giant store near Third and H streets in northeast D.C.

Police confirmed they had arrested her there earlier today for a confrontation in the store, though they did not reveal details of the arrest.

News4 spoke with Ebony Belcher, the transgender woman who said she was assaulted by the officer.

Belcher, 32, said the woman came into the restroom and told her to get out. She said the officer put her hand on her shoulder and arm, grabbed her and tried to march her out of the store.

Belcher said she suffers from Parkinson's disease and almost fell while the officer was shoving her.

Giant issued a statement, which read: "As this matter involves a third party that provides security services for Giant and there's an ongoing criminal investigation, all inquiries related to the incident at the H Street Giant should be directed to the local police for a comment at this time."

*Anya* · 05-18-2016, 08:30 PM

People have gone fucking nuts pure and simple.

Stud_puppy1991 · 05-19-2016, 10:43 AM

Okay, we actually discussed this in my LGBT group at therapy, and I even looked it up and was outraged. I still am. It never fails to rattle me how and why this is a concern to so many people. Before this fiasco began, there was people using bathrooms and not a care in the world. I go to the men's room sometimes, or sometimes I use the Ladies room. If I had to go, I went. And I have been in a bathroom with a trans man or woman and had no issues. I don't see where it's that big of a deal. It's just the bathroom. It's human nature.

05-16-2016, 10:09 PM	#2
Anya Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Lesbian non-stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Committed to being good to myself Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: West Coast Posts: 8,258 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 39,306 Thanked 40,447 Times in 7,284 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Some days I lose faith in the human race Woman who donated hair to cancer patients mistaken for trans woman and harassed in bathroom Has North Carolina’s anti-transgender bathroom bill created an environment of fear and paranoia in public restrooms? One woman named Aimee Toms, who was recently harassed in a Walmart restroom after someone mistook her for a transgender woman, believes that it has. Danbury News Times reports that Toms was accosted by another woman while she was washing her hands in a Walmart bathroom in Danbury, Connecticut. Toms was wearing a baseball hat and she had very short hair because she recently donated her hair to a charity that makes wigs for children with cancer. She said that she was approached by a complete stranger in the bathroom and was told that “You’re disgusting!” and “You don’t belong here!” The 22-year-old Toms posted a video on Facebook talking about how the experience opened her eyes to the abuse that transgender people face every day. “After experiencing the discrimination they face firsthand, I cannot fathom the discrimination transgender people must face in a lifetime,” she said. “Can you imagine going out every day and having people tell you you should not be who you are or that people will not accept you as who you are?” Toms also linked her experience back to the current debate over whether transgender people should be allowed to use the public bathrooms of the gender that they identify with. http://www.rawstory.com/2016/05/woma...d-in-restroom/ __________________ ~Anya~ Democracy Dies in Darkness ~Washington Post "...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parents’ actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable." UN Human Rights commissioner

05-18-2016, 06:53 PM	#5
Andrea Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Mature Femme Preferred Pronoun?: Her/She Relationship Status: I heart Rene Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: California Posts: 3,755 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 15,427 Thanked 14,925 Times in 3,022 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	Guard Charged with Assault After Confronting Transgender Woman Using Women's Restroom, Source Says http://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/Guard-Charged-with-Assault-After-Confronting-Transgender-Woman-Using-Womens-Restroom-380010941.html D.C. Police have charged a security guard at a Giant grocery store with simple assault after sources say she had a confrontation with a transgender woman who was trying to use the women's restroom. The guard, who has not been identified, is a special police officer at a Giant store near Third and H streets in northeast D.C. Police confirmed they had arrested her there earlier today for a confrontation in the store, though they did not reveal details of the arrest. News4 spoke with Ebony Belcher, the transgender woman who said she was assaulted by the officer. Belcher, 32, said the woman came into the restroom and told her to get out. She said the officer put her hand on her shoulder and arm, grabbed her and tried to march her out of the store. Belcher said she suffers from Parkinson's disease and almost fell while the officer was shoving her. Giant issued a statement, which read: "As this matter involves a third party that provides security services for Giant and there's an ongoing criminal investigation, all inquiries related to the incident at the H Street Giant should be directed to the local police for a comment at this time." __________________ I am very spoiled! What we think about and thank about, we bring about! Today I will treat my body with love and respect.

05-18-2016, 08:30 PM	#6
Anya Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Lesbian non-stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Committed to being good to myself Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: West Coast Posts: 8,258 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 39,306 Thanked 40,447 Times in 7,284 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	People have gone fucking nuts pure and simple. __________________ ~Anya~ Democracy Dies in Darkness ~Washington Post "...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parents’ actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable." UN Human Rights commissioner

05-19-2016, 10:43 AM	#7
Stud_puppy1991 Member How Do You Identify?: butch, gentleman Preferred Pronoun?: Hy, Hym, "Hey Handsome", and also throwing in a "Sup man" or a "You're sexy" will work Relationship Status: Back to Bachelorhood Join Date: May 2011 Location: Louisville, Kentucky Posts: 586 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 499 Thanked 995 Times in 361 Posts Rep Power: 7051416	Okay, we actually discussed this in my LGBT group at therapy, and I even looked it up and was outraged. I still am. It never fails to rattle me how and why this is a concern to so many people. Before this fiasco began, there was people using bathrooms and not a care in the world. I go to the men's room sometimes, or sometimes I use the Ladies room. If I had to go, I went. And I have been in a bathroom with a trans man or woman and had no issues. I don't see where it's that big of a deal. It's just the bathroom. It's human nature.