Al-anon, Nar-anon: when someone you love is practicing addiction.

[IrishAmazon]

Originally Posted by FireSignFemme

In my 20's a couple in our neighborhood used to allow minors to drink in their home. One night a young couple left a party of theirs and on the way home were hit by a train and died. Alcohol was found in their system and even though neither was drunk, they were both still considered over the limit because there is no amount of alcohol it is lawful for minors not in the care of their legal guardians to consume. In some states, places, situations parents can allow minor children to have wine and things in the home but clearly that was not the case here. In this situation the minute those minors had more than one drop of alcohol in them away from their parents they were over the legal limit. And since our neighbors were the ones who provided that alcohol they were held both criminally and civilly responsible. Punishment - it rained down on their heads like fire and brimstone.

Your girlfriend is allowing minors to consume alcohol - and that’s a crime. And since the child she was allowing to drink was under 16 in many places, jurisdictions it’s considered an even worse offense than what it would be if the child in question was a couple years older. Also knowledge of a crime and not reporting it is a crime. Though temporarily leaving the home so she can have the whole place to herself to practice unchecked all the crime she wants might make you feel better, I’m not so sure it would be enough to absolve you of all criminal responsibility were she ever caught just depending on what the charge/charges were and how much you knew, were aware of the sittuation.

How is it going to look in court if you’re called to take the stand and the best you have to offer in your defense is- Well yeah I know it's illegal your honor but I can’t help myself. I’m so in love - my hormones just keep tugging at me pulling me away from the direction of correct and proper behavior any old way. Do you really think, in any courts mind that is going to constitute any kind of justifiable defense? The fact is whether you believe a law is right or wrong, stupid or not, if you get caught they’re still going to punish you just the same. Something better to think about reflect on now, this side of incarceration rather than mull over later from behind bars I would think.

So you leave me feeling atacked, and you assume that all the events made it to things I felt like I needed to express today. You assumed and though I am not always clear when I write you missed a few things.

So please let's try something constructive because as simply as you decide I'm a doddling twitt, I assure you I am not. What in heavens name ould you suggest I do in such a sittuation? Call the cops? Have you ever spent time in vegas? Your lucky to get them to some for a shooting or armed robbery (yes from experince).

I did what i was able and no I was not sweetnor kind about it, I warned her, I expressed myself, I explained reprcusions to her and the freinds that own the home. If you feel like in my words I at any point it was implied that I sat by twirling my thumbs while her stupidity ensued you are mistaken. I left when the only thing left was anger, not leaving wasn't an option. I did not leave her and the kids to their own devices I left the home while it was full of other adults icluding some of the parents and the home owners.

Yep I decided to put some information out here partial to clear my head and partially for perception. But bless your soul you went for judgment, awsome. I get that what happened pissed you off pissed me off too. For So Many More Reasons than you can count.

Hears some of what I didn't feel like I needed to add, his mother gave permission for him and his 19 year old brother to have alcohol in this home, and the owners allow throw 20 daughter to drink in the home when she's home from college. The owners of the house asked that they not drink that day because there were early plans the next day. Do I agree or think that this is what's best for the kids not at all, not my call not my kids. So I did what I was able to and left.

So please judge me hope it makes you feel like a better woman.
Never in my adult life have hormones had the control over me that you so disrespectfuly imply.
What my heart keeps me from doing is breaking up and leaving her so far. Because this is all a new behavior that has been building. Something has taken a huge shift, My best freind is fading away to someone I don't know or want to know. I am caught because I don't belive you give up on some one you care about or have committed yourself to, but as someone who has of experience adicts I know some times all you can do is accept that you can not really help.