What Cracked You Up Today?

cinnamongrrl · 07-24-2016, 10:22 PM

My kid...

I bought some dates and offered her one. I had no idea she never tried them before. She looked at them and said, "oh my God...mom..put those down. Don't even eat them!!"

It never occurred to me how bad dates look when you're unaware of how good they taste. I don't think I will be convincing her to try them any time soon.

More for me!

Bèsame* · 07-25-2016, 06:36 AM

While at work yesterday, during a busy moment, I answered the phone.

The caller said, did you get gas?

Trying to keep my composure, I really thought it was a prank call.

I then realized it was Blaze, making sure I got to work!

We laughed later. I said I had to think about my response. Imagine, if I said, "yes, I got gas". My customer standing in front of me would have done...who knows! Lol

Blade · 07-25-2016, 09:48 AM

A u tube video showing dogs and cats and their reaction to farts. Both their own and their peoples farts

femmeandstrong · 07-25-2016, 11:03 AM

Squeaky cottage cheese lol

Talon · 08-11-2016, 12:01 PM

Blade · 08-16-2016, 11:10 AM

While shopping at Walmart I saw a young man pushing a little girl in a buggy. She asked him what is Betty Crocker. He told her it is just a company, well maybe she was a real person I'm not sure

MysticOceansFL · 08-16-2016, 01:11 PM

I was looking all over for her for like thirty plus minutes and I find her hiding in my laundry basket under my clean clothes. 😀

Medusa · 08-17-2016, 06:51 PM

Having to clarify rules for a fitness challenge at work again today.

"No body parts or organs may be removed for the purposes of weight loss"

Kenna · 08-17-2016, 07:53 PM

My roommate in his thick southern accent said "Oh, lemme tell you this...When they sell a phone in the south, it needs to know what a southerner is saying!!"

I get such a tickle when his phone doesn't understand his heavy accent. Then he cusses at the phone and I have to remind him to make sure it didn't type his cussing ...'cause you don't want Mawmaw thinking you're cussing at her.

Bèsame* · 08-22-2016, 11:01 PM

A comment was made about buying stuff...

And he belts out a song to the tune of Material Girl...

Something that had boxers, socks and shoes in it. , I'm a material guy!
Lol

Medusa · 08-22-2016, 11:12 PM

My team at work.

Random conversations today included:

* Why you have to call someone "Daddy" if you want a cherry Pop Tart
* Zika
* Whether the men's or women's bathrooms smelled worse
* Why someone's laptop was working for the devil
* And there might be a pool going between all of the folks who work for me on exactly when I'm going to have a "Falling Down" moment and auction off everything in my office before riding off into the sunset in my big black 300m

Blade · 09-02-2016, 06:45 PM

While watching Wheel of Fortune, which we normally never watch. The contestants were introducing themselves, each one say something like, "I've been married to my wonderful husband for blah blah blah"

About this time my roomie says, you never hear them say, I've been married to a dick head for however long. Are all their spouses really that wonderful.

I about choked on my taco salad

Stud_puppy1991 · 09-02-2016, 07:50 PM

Watching YouTube earlier and the videos of Sassy Gay Friend. Just...OMG! Too funny

Degotoga · 09-02-2016, 09:25 PM

I stumbled upon this little gem while looking for something completely unrelated. Seriously.

Stud_puppy1991 · 09-02-2016, 11:04 PM

Watching Rizzoli and Idles always does it for me, just the funny moments alone.

FireSignFemme · 09-03-2016, 01:30 AM

Finding this while oneline searching for a card for someone who's not feeling well - This is SO Monte the Magnificent (my cat) when I'm sleeping and he wants his food Ta Now!

Medusa · 09-07-2016, 09:58 PM

The word "titty" said with a quasi-British accent.

(you KNOW you just tried it!)

07-24-2016, 10:22 PM	#1
cinnamongrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: cleverly disguised as a responsible adult* Preferred Pronoun?: wild woman Relationship Status: No, thank you. Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Home in NC..gonna dig in like a tick this time… Posts: 7,662 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 15,233 Thanked 27,600 Times in 6,957 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	My kid... I bought some dates and offered her one. I had no idea she never tried them before. She looked at them and said, "oh my God...mom..put those down. Don't even eat them!!" It never occurred to me how bad dates look when you're unaware of how good they taste. I don't think I will be convincing her to try them any time soon. More for me! __________________

07-25-2016, 06:36 AM	#2
Bèsame* Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femm Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: loved by many Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Closer to the waves Posts: 15,401 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,157 Thanked 40,974 Times in 10,751 Posts Rep Power: 21474865	While at work yesterday, during a busy moment, I answered the phone. The caller said, did you get gas? Trying to keep my composure, I really thought it was a prank call. I then realized it was Blaze, making sure I got to work! We laughed later. I said I had to think about my response. Imagine, if I said, "yes, I got gas". My customer standing in front of me would have done...who knows! Lol __________________ kisses A kiss is a whisper in your mouth. Can I borrow a kiss? I promise to give it back.

07-25-2016, 09:48 AM	#3
Blade Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: TG Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: once in a while someone amazing comes along...and here I am! Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Down on the farm Posts: 5,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,855 Thanked 14,413 Times in 4,058 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	A u tube video showing dogs and cats and their reaction to farts. Both their own and their peoples farts __________________ Yeah so what if I'm triple dipped in awesome sauce? The best way to predict the future, is to create it.

08-16-2016, 11:10 AM	#6
Blade Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: TG Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: once in a while someone amazing comes along...and here I am! Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Down on the farm Posts: 5,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,855 Thanked 14,413 Times in 4,058 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	While shopping at Walmart I saw a young man pushing a little girl in a buggy. She asked him what is Betty Crocker. He told her it is just a company, well maybe she was a real person I'm not sure __________________ Yeah so what if I'm triple dipped in awesome sauce? The best way to predict the future, is to create it.

08-16-2016, 01:11 PM	#7
MysticOceansFL Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch, Preferred Pronoun?: People call me by my nic name. Relationship Status: Not Single, Not Desperate. Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Florida Posts: 3,833 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,645 Thanked 4,033 Times in 1,720 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Crazy afternoon with my cocker spaniel I was looking all over for her for like thirty plus minutes and I find her hiding in my laundry basket under my clean clothes. 😀 __________________ Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation. It is said, " Some lives are linked across time..... Connected by an ancient calling that echoes through the ages "......

07-25-2016, 11:03 AM	#4
femmeandstrong Member How Do You Identify?: just me...imperfect but warm-hearted me Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: I am alright and still smiling - keeping my eyes on what lasts and matters Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: New England Posts: 325 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 352 Thanked 1,040 Times in 279 Posts Rep Power: 8187133	Squeaky cottage cheese lol

08-11-2016, 12:01 PM	#5
Talon Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Divine Feminine Preferred Pronoun?: . Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: . Posts: 4,921 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,246 Thanked 10,223 Times in 3,305 Posts Rep Power: 21474854

08-17-2016, 06:51 PM	#8
Medusa Mentally Delicious How Do You Identify?: Queer High Femme, thank you very much Preferred Pronoun?: Mme. Relationship Status: Married to JD. Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Atlanta Posts: 10,446 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,995 Thanked 42,686 Times in 7,831 Posts Rep Power: 10000025	Having to clarify rules for a fitness challenge at work again today. "No body parts or organs may be removed for the purposes of weight loss" __________________ . . . Buy ButchFemmePlanet Merch Here: https://teespring.com/stores/butchfemmeplanetcom-merch

08-17-2016, 07:53 PM	#9
Kenna Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: NC & CO Posts: 4,806 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,624 Thanked 12,192 Times in 3,779 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Talk to text in the south My roommate in his thick southern accent said "Oh, lemme tell you this...When they sell a phone in the south, it needs to know what a southerner is saying!!" I get such a tickle when his phone doesn't understand his heavy accent. Then he cusses at the phone and I have to remind him to make sure it didn't type his cussing ...'cause you don't want Mawmaw thinking you're cussing at her. __________________ **************************** She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~

08-22-2016, 11:01 PM	#10
Bèsame* Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femm Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: loved by many Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Closer to the waves Posts: 15,401 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,157 Thanked 40,974 Times in 10,751 Posts Rep Power: 21474865	A comment was made about buying stuff... And he belts out a song to the tune of Material Girl... Something that had boxers, socks and shoes in it. , I'm a material guy! Lol __________________ kisses A kiss is a whisper in your mouth. Can I borrow a kiss? I promise to give it back.

08-22-2016, 11:12 PM	#11
Medusa Mentally Delicious How Do You Identify?: Queer High Femme, thank you very much Preferred Pronoun?: Mme. Relationship Status: Married to JD. Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Atlanta Posts: 10,446 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,995 Thanked 42,686 Times in 7,831 Posts Rep Power: 10000025	My team at work. Random conversations today included: * Why you have to call someone "Daddy" if you want a cherry Pop Tart * Zika * Whether the men's or women's bathrooms smelled worse * Why someone's laptop was working for the devil * And there might be a pool going between all of the folks who work for me on exactly when I'm going to have a "Falling Down" moment and auction off everything in my office before riding off into the sunset in my big black 300m __________________ . . . Buy ButchFemmePlanet Merch Here: https://teespring.com/stores/butchfemmeplanetcom-merch

09-02-2016, 06:45 PM	#12
Blade Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: TG Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: once in a while someone amazing comes along...and here I am! Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Down on the farm Posts: 5,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,855 Thanked 14,413 Times in 4,058 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	While watching Wheel of Fortune, which we normally never watch. The contestants were introducing themselves, each one say something like, "I've been married to my wonderful husband for blah blah blah" About this time my roomie says, you never hear them say, I've been married to a dick head for however long. Are all their spouses really that wonderful. I about choked on my taco salad __________________ Yeah so what if I'm triple dipped in awesome sauce? The best way to predict the future, is to create it.

09-02-2016, 07:50 PM	#13
Stud_puppy1991 Member How Do You Identify?: butch, gentleman Preferred Pronoun?: Hy, Hym, "Hey Handsome", and also throwing in a "Sup man" or a "You're sexy" will work Relationship Status: Back to Bachelorhood Join Date: May 2011 Location: Louisville, Kentucky Posts: 586 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 499 Thanked 995 Times in 361 Posts Rep Power: 7051416	Watching YouTube earlier and the videos of Sassy Gay Friend. Just...OMG! Too funny

09-02-2016, 09:25 PM	#14
Degotoga Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Stone Butch Preferred Pronoun?: Respectful and situational appropriate ones Relationship Status: Enjoying butchelorhood Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: Texas Posts: 3,301 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 7,390 Thanked 4,380 Times in 1,233 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Cumming to the 2020 Olympics... I stumbled upon this little gem while looking for something completely unrelated. Seriously. __________________ Don't try to explain yourself to stupid people. You're not the jackass whisperer.

09-02-2016, 11:04 PM	#15
Stud_puppy1991 Member How Do You Identify?: butch, gentleman Preferred Pronoun?: Hy, Hym, "Hey Handsome", and also throwing in a "Sup man" or a "You're sexy" will work Relationship Status: Back to Bachelorhood Join Date: May 2011 Location: Louisville, Kentucky Posts: 586 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 499 Thanked 995 Times in 361 Posts Rep Power: 7051416	Watching Rizzoli and Idles always does it for me, just the funny moments alone.

09-03-2016, 01:30 AM	#16
FireSignFemme Senior Member How Do You Identify?: N/A Join Date: Jan 2016 Location: WA Posts: 4,434 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 37,962 Thanked 10,285 Times in 3,146 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	Pet Ownership Finding this while oneline searching for a card for someone who's not feeling well - This is SO Monte the Magnificent (my cat) when I'm sleeping and he wants his food Ta Now!

09-07-2016, 09:58 PM	#17
Medusa Mentally Delicious How Do You Identify?: Queer High Femme, thank you very much Preferred Pronoun?: Mme. Relationship Status: Married to JD. Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Atlanta Posts: 10,446 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,995 Thanked 42,686 Times in 7,831 Posts Rep Power: 10000025	The word "titty" said with a quasi-British accent. (you KNOW you just tried it!) __________________ . . . Buy ButchFemmePlanet Merch Here: https://teespring.com/stores/butchfemmeplanetcom-merch