Can a poly/mono work?

[JDeere]

Bump bump.

It takes two to make a thing right, it takes two to make it out of sight. Busts a move in the thread to get it jumping.

[JDeere]

Bumping the thread again.

[iamkeri1]

I want to start by saying I have only been in relationships that were supposed to be monogamous. Two of my partners were frequent cheaters. I do not call them poly, I call them cheaters because they violated our agreement. If they were poly, they forgot to mention it to me. Had they been openly poly, the outside interest would have been easier to take.

Having said all that, there is a type of multiple partner relationship that I find both exciting and workable for me, as a basically monogamous person (that is, when thinking of it intellectually, I have not experienced it personally.)

What I conceive of is more like a group marriage. All parties live together, and interact with each other sexually, financially, familially, etc. Two or more couples may come together, or individuals may join together to form this family/marriage. They set their own rules, clearly define them, and they are committed to each other and all within the group, but would limit their sexual activities to those who are within the group. There could still be problems, of course, but there are many financial, emotional, and convenience advantages to this type of relationship. And just think of the disposable income, lol, Four or more adult workers would be bringing money into a household whose costs would not actually be much higher than that of a two adult household. Children would have multiple parents available to pay attention to them. One partner could take time off to go to school, or one could elect to stay home to raise/homeschool the children. Any permutations the partners agree on would be acceptable. This has always seemed to me like a way to achieve the benefits of a monogamous relationship. while allowing sexual and other intimate interaction with multiple people and achieving those benefits as well.

Meandering in my thoughts. Peace to you all in whatever relationship choices you make.
Smooches,
Keri

[kittygrrl]

Originally Posted by iamkeri1

I want to start by saying I have only been in relationships that were supposed to be monogamous. Two of my partners were frequent cheaters. I do not call them poly, I call them cheaters because they violated our agreement. If they were poly, they forgot to mention it to me. Had they been openly poly, the outside interest would have been easier to take.

Having said all that, there is a type of multiple partner relationship that I find both exciting and workable for me, as a basically monogamous person (that is, when thinking of it intellectually, I have not experienced it personally.)

What I conceive of is more like a group marriage. All parties live together, and interact with each other sexually, financially, familially, etc. Two or more couples may come together, or individuals may join together to form this family/marriage. They set their own rules, clearly define them, and they are committed to each other and all within the group, but would limit their sexual activities to those who are within the group. There could still be problems, of course, but there are many financial, emotional, and convenience advantages to this type of relationship. And just think of the disposable income, lol, Four or more adult workers would be bringing money into a household whose costs would not actually be much higher than that of a two adult household. Children would have multiple parents available to pay attention to them. One partner could take time off to go to school, or one could elect to stay home to raise/homeschool the children. Any permutations the partners agree on would be acceptable. This has always seemed to me like a way to achieve the benefits of a monogamous relationship. while allowing sexual and other intimate interaction with multiple people and achieving those benefits as well.

Meandering in my thoughts. Peace to you all in whatever relationship choices you make.
Smooches,
Keri

Your post is really appreciated and I enjoyed reading it. Thank you. I have known a few group marriages. Group marriage was kinda a thing in the hippie love era. Couples shared households and expenses and a few worked out pretty well but eventually the two I knew parted. I'm not sure why as I was just a teen then and thought it was a strange thing to begin with and too busy with my own life. In my much later adopted hippie lifestyle I experimented with many different ways of living and knew many like-minded people, for the most part accepting, happy together people, which I feel is very necessary to even consider living a lifestyle like this. People who decide to live this lifestyle generally adopt it because they find another couple they are in-sync with in many different ways. They love each other and enjoy spending weekends etc. This is how I noticed it started out. The other reason was a shared goal or beliefs which made it an advantage to have others who shared their values. Sounds cozy doesn't it? Well sometimes, but unfortunately the best of intentions doesn't always mean you have success even though you may want it badly.

[JDeere]

Group marriage is a no can do for mexample. I'm fine with my current poly/mono situation until it's not for me anymore.