PTSD and Trauma recovery

tuffboi29 · 05-19-2010, 12:55 AM

Well Ladies and Gents,...

I decided it was time to check in and also check up on ya'll too.For the first time in forever it seems i just may be winning this battle.Therapy is starting to kick in and I'm even thinking of intensifing it by going to more sessions per week.There is a new study out to help lesson the night terrors also that I am currently in the works of persuing(when i get the name of it I'll let you guys know).I still REALLY need to get more sleep but am happy to report that I've gotten my appetitie back (3 meals a day!!wowza!!) and can now sleep for a little longer that 4 hours at a time at night.Before i was only getting 1-3 hours tops and was more comfortable sleeping during the day which i just can't do with my responsibilities.I would like to end by saying this...Keep it up guys...if I can see the light at the end of my tunnel you can too.Lets keep encouraging each other.If I hadn't seen some of the post that I've read on this forum I'm not sure if my courage to combat this terrible thing would have stayed firm.YES!!...it's terrifing!!YES!!...this IS hard!!YES!!there is an end to it and a way to fight back!!...Stay strong and don't let this get the best of you because there are other things in life that deserve it much,much more.

And once again,thank you to everyone who posted even just one sentence.Know that I read it AND IT HELPED.THANK YOU ALL.

JustBeingMe · 05-19-2010, 11:00 AM

Yesterday was a horrible day for me. I won't go into it here because it's deeply personal, but just know it was a HIGHLY TOXIC day, and it's been hugely difficult to go through when this happens, and it's happening alot for me. I can't control anyone elses behaviour but when it affects me like it does, it brings out a part of me that I hate. There are times when I can handle not engaging in it, but there are times when I feel so overwhelmed by all the yelling going on, which sets off my PTSD and Anxiety and Depression, and I just can't take anymore. I know it's situational thing but damn it's totally screwed up havin to deal with it. I just wish my other stuff was overwith so I can move on with my life. Lord help me to be stronger and help me to NOT engage with the Toxic stuff, and help me to remain calm in my times of need.
I went to the clinic yesterday to do blood work and other testing, and finally have an appt to see the new doc on June 1st. I just wish it were sooner so I could be put back on my anxiety meds, cause it works for me well.
Take care everyone, and I hope you all have a wonderful week.

Andrew, Jr. · 05-19-2010, 11:10 AM

I am in a bad place right now. I am fighting my depression. Sometimes others, for whatever reason, find enjoyment out of edging me on. Do you guys and gals find that to be true?

Today I listed my smilie as this one =

It just describes me best for now.

Liam · 05-19-2010, 11:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

I am in a bad place right now. I am fighting my depression. Sometimes others, for whatever reason, find enjoyment out of edging me on. Do you guys and gals find that to be true?

Today I listed my smilie as this one =

It just describes me best for now.

I don't know that I would call it edging me on, I do think there are some people, who enjoy being antagonistic toward me.

I'm sorry you are in a bad place right now, Andrew. I hope that changes for you, soon.

JustBeingMe · 05-19-2010, 11:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

I am in a bad place right now. I am fighting my depression. Sometimes others, for whatever reason, find enjoyment out of edging me on. Do you guys and gals find that to be true?

Today I listed my smilie as this one =

It just describes me best for now.

Unfortunately yes, I have someone in my life that edges me on in a bad way. I am not sure they get actual enjoyment out of it, I think it's just part of the way they are now and how they live life, yelling and screaming, blaming, all that drama stuff that adds to my own depression. It's hurtful but,I cannot control how they behave, I can only try my damndest not to engage; but it happens at times that I get caught up in it so much that it makes my depression much harder to deal with and the thoughts I have that derail my thinking and they go very deeply negative. So if you see me post highly negative, it's because I am having to deal with someone that is toxic to me.
I am sorry your going through that Andrew. Is there anyway you can not include those people in your life? Me, unfortunately right now I can't do that, but hopefully I will be able to do so, soon, and love them from a very far distance.

Andrew, Jr. · 05-19-2010, 03:11 PM

Liam,

I am talking about in real time, not online. Online I can handle. Does this make sense?

I need to find coping skills for this, Justbeingme. The person is my adopted sister. She has a huge heart of gold, but she can be just a major pain in the ass. Everything revolves around her. Everything. I love her, but she is a princess by all definitions of the word. And she pushes all of my buttons.

Andrew

Liam · 05-19-2010, 05:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

Liam,

I am talking about in real time, not online. Online I can handle. Does this make sense?

I need to find coping skills for this, Justbeingme. The person is my adopted sister. She has a huge heart of gold, but she can be just a major pain in the ass. Everything revolves around her. Everything. I love her, but she is a princess by all definitions of the word. And she pushes all of my buttons.

Andrew

Sure, Andrew.

JustBeingMe · 05-20-2010, 11:51 AM

Sorry Andrew. I understand.

05-19-2010, 12:55 AM	#1
tuffboi29 Member How Do You Identify?: Queer..in the queer deffinition of the queer meaning of the queer word... Preferred Pronoun?: Mr. SuperTuff Relationship Status: Things happen... Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: somewhere over the rainbow Posts: 483 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 894 Thanked 684 Times in 293 Posts Rep Power: 93006	Trying to recover... Well Ladies and Gents,... I decided it was time to check in and also check up on ya'll too.For the first time in forever it seems i just may be winning this battle.Therapy is starting to kick in and I'm even thinking of intensifing it by going to more sessions per week.There is a new study out to help lesson the night terrors also that I am currently in the works of persuing(when i get the name of it I'll let you guys know).I still REALLY need to get more sleep but am happy to report that I've gotten my appetitie back (3 meals a day!!wowza!!) and can now sleep for a little longer that 4 hours at a time at night.Before i was only getting 1-3 hours tops and was more comfortable sleeping during the day which i just can't do with my responsibilities.I would like to end by saying this...Keep it up guys...if I can see the light at the end of my tunnel you can too.Lets keep encouraging each other.If I hadn't seen some of the post that I've read on this forum I'm not sure if my courage to combat this terrible thing would have stayed firm.YES!!...it's terrifing!!YES!!...this IS hard!!YES!!there is an end to it and a way to fight back!!...Stay strong and don't let this get the best of you because there are other things in life that deserve it much,much more. And once again,thank you to everyone who posted even just one sentence.Know that I read it AND IT HELPED.THANK YOU ALL. __________________ "Today we would pass through the scenes of our youth like travelers. We are burnt up by hard facts; like tradesmen we understand distinctions, and like butchers, necessities. We are no longer untroubled - we are indifferent. We might exist there; but, should we really live there?" ~Erich Maria Remarque "All Quiet on the Western Front" http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphot..._4605968_n.jpg

05-19-2010, 11:00 AM	#2
JustBeingMe Senior Member How Do You Identify?: as ME Relationship Status: I don't need no stinking status. Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: somewhere you're not..... Posts: 1,808 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,961 Thanked 1,690 Times in 694 Posts Rep Power: 12813869	Yesterday was a horrible day for me. I won't go into it here because it's deeply personal, but just know it was a HIGHLY TOXIC day, and it's been hugely difficult to go through when this happens, and it's happening alot for me. I can't control anyone elses behaviour but when it affects me like it does, it brings out a part of me that I hate. There are times when I can handle not engaging in it, but there are times when I feel so overwhelmed by all the yelling going on, which sets off my PTSD and Anxiety and Depression, and I just can't take anymore. I know it's situational thing but damn it's totally screwed up havin to deal with it. I just wish my other stuff was overwith so I can move on with my life. Lord help me to be stronger and help me to NOT engage with the Toxic stuff, and help me to remain calm in my times of need. I went to the clinic yesterday to do blood work and other testing, and finally have an appt to see the new doc on June 1st. I just wish it were sooner so I could be put back on my anxiety meds, cause it works for me well. Take care everyone, and I hope you all have a wonderful week. __________________ Nothing more, Nothing less, I'm Just Being Me

05-20-2010, 11:51 AM	#8
JustBeingMe Senior Member How Do You Identify?: as ME Relationship Status: I don't need no stinking status. Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: somewhere you're not..... Posts: 1,808 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,961 Thanked 1,690 Times in 694 Posts Rep Power: 12813869	Sorry Andrew. I understand. __________________ Nothing more, Nothing less, I'm Just Being Me

05-19-2010, 11:10 AM	#3
Andrew, Jr. Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Me Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Over the Rainbow in a House Posts: 5,072 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,004 Thanked 5,249 Times in 2,216 Posts Rep Power: 0	I am in a bad place right now. I am fighting my depression. Sometimes others, for whatever reason, find enjoyment out of edging me on. Do you guys and gals find that to be true? Today I listed my smilie as this one = It just describes me best for now.

05-19-2010, 03:11 PM	#6
Andrew, Jr. Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Me Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Over the Rainbow in a House Posts: 5,072 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,004 Thanked 5,249 Times in 2,216 Posts Rep Power: 0	Liam, I am talking about in real time, not online. Online I can handle. Does this make sense? I need to find coping skills for this, Justbeingme. The person is my adopted sister. She has a huge heart of gold, but she can be just a major pain in the ass. Everything revolves around her. Everything. I love her, but she is a princess by all definitions of the word. And she pushes all of my buttons. Andrew