TMI - Too Much Information

[Thinker]

Originally Posted by Medusa

Many of you have already heard this but I totally pooped in a potted plant on the balcony of a VERY fancy hotel one time.

And then I wiped with a leaf that I ended up being allergic to.

Ummm... Not that it *really* matters......but......were you drunk???

Originally Posted by Tucker

In kindergarten the toilet was broken and we had to shake the handle so it wouldnt flood. My ADD was so bad I forgot about it. I pooped and flooded the classroom.
The next day I was told I had to go to private school because the teacher was so upset about her poop room.

That's so fucked up.

Originally Posted by betenoire

I love you.

When I moved to Vancouver I had to live in my car temporarily while I looked for a job an an apartment. My car was parked in a parkinglot by Jericho Beach. There were actually several cars and vans in that parkinglot full of people doing what I was doing.

Anyway. I was lucky in that most of my bowel-urges happened when I had handy access to the public toilet. Each time but once, in fact. So it's 2am and I have to crap...so I wander into the woods and hug a tree and do what I have to do. Then I wipe with my sock (!!! I forgot to bring tp to the woods, okay?) and tossed my sock aside and went back to the car.

Later that morning I was woken up by some loud hollering and swearing out in the woods. It seems one of the other people who were also car-living....um....stepped in my shit. Barefooted.

I prayed and prayed that he wouldn't recognise my sock.

Lesson: Don't walk in the woods in bare feet.

Originally Posted by WolfyOne

When I was a teenager my mom got tired of me falling off my bed when I'd come home drunk....thought I'd hurt myself, so she took away my bed frame and told me I wouldn't have as far to fall next time.

Wow. Cool mom!


My share: When I was in high school, I went to New Orleans to visit friends and ring in the new year. I was introduced to (a lot of) Jagermeister.

The next morning I was jolted awake by the need to throw up. After approaching a LOCKED bathroom door, I took a hooded sweatshirt out of my suitcase and threw up in it. Covered the puke with the hood, folded it up, and packed it away.

And went back to sleep.

I don't think I ever knew who was in that fuckin' bathroom.

[Medusa]

Originally Posted by Thinker

Ummm... Not that it *really* matters......but......were you drunk???




That's so fucked up.




Lesson: Don't walk in the woods in bare feet.




Wow. Cool mom!


My share: When I was in high school, I went to New Orleans to visit friends and ring in the new year. I was introduced to (a lot of) Jagermeister.

The next morning I was jolted awake by the need to throw up. After approaching a LOCKED bathroom door, I took a hooded sweatshirt out of my suitcase and threw up in it. Covered the puke with the hood, folded it up, and packed it away.

And went back to sleep.

I don't think I ever knew who was in that fuckin' bathroom.

THINKER! I'm actually impressed by the ingenuity of that! HAHA!

[SuperFemme]

I have a reputation of disconnecting my own IV lines and leaving the hospital.
so much so that they take my keys.

I once brought an extra key and called Cal in a panic, sure the doctors were following me home.

Now that I have Snow in my life? I don't do that anymore. She's smarter than me.

[JustJo]

Since this seems to be the place for pee stories.....

My mother has an old farm way out in the country...and was away somewhere for a week. I had promised to take my son and go water her plants, harvest the garden, and generally check on things while she was away.

It's a long drive, and I was dying to pee when I got there. Grabbed the spare key from it's hiding place and.....it doesn't work. Evidently mom changed the lock when she got the new door, and forgot to change out the hidden key.

No problem...I know how to break into her house (an entirely different story ), but I really had to pee and couldn't wait.

Ran around the back of the house...no one can see me there cuz it's way out in the country. Pants down, squat, pee.......right on a snake. Not sure who was more panicked....snake fled, I jumped, and pee'd all over my shoes.

My son laughed so hard he pee'd his pants.

The car didn't smell very good on the way home.

[Thinker]

Originally Posted by Medusa

THINKER! I'm actually impressed by the ingenuity of that! HAHA!

Y'all just *think* I'm straightlaced. I got yer asses fooled.