What Cracked You Up Today?

[A. Spectre]

I set myself on fire.

Yes, that warrants a crack me up. There is a ledge in front of the fireplace where I sit to put my boots on. THIS time, I had on my big jacket, leaned back and smelled something a little funny. Smoke wafted in my peripheral and oh boy! I ran outside and rolled in the snow!

All is well, and I feel totally stupid.

[easygoingfemme]

My raccoon eyes when I sneezed right after putting on mascara. #femmethings.

[Kätzchen]

I colored two pictures recently: one, that's an adorable depiction of a giraffe couple in love, and another picture depicting and angry Great White Shark with blood red teeth and jaws. I framed them both and the pictures hang on my bedroom wall... but the other night when Juan was here, he complimented my colored drawings. I told him that the shark was born out of our love making, *lol*. The look on his face cracked me up, that night, but whenever I look up at my colored drawings now, I crack up in giggles because of our private conversation about our "baby" and the priceless look on Juan's face after hearing my rationale on how we gave birth to an angry shark (lololol).

[A. Spectre]

A couple of months ago, I purchased 'Dump Trump' dog waste bags. I use them every day to clean up after my dogs. Last evening, I took one of the dogs on a walk at a park behind the house, she did her business and I went to clean it up when an elderly couple were walking towards us and noticed the waste bag. Their eyes were super big and they both started laughing hysterically. He said, "this has been one of the worst days of my life and thank you for this gift of laughter, albeit momentary."

We engaged in a brief but lovely conversation. They are both retired professors with 4 children, one of whom is a gay man they have loved and supported.

I will remember that moment where the three of us forgot, if only for a moment the gloom of the political events of yesterday.

Here are the bags.

[cinnamongrrl]

Watching Trump in church made me laugh so hard I had to leave the room (I'm at work)

He so obviously didn't have a damn clue

[JDeere]

[A. Spectre]

Female Legislators Unveil Male Ejaculation Bill Forbidding The Disposal Of Unused Semen


WASHINGTON, DC (By J. McConkey)—A group of leading female legislators have enacted a new bill that forbids American men from disposing of “unused” sperm, requiring them to bring any recreational semen to a nearby fertility clinic.

According to noted alternative facts specialist, Stephanie Yorke, sperm is intended for “procreation only” and not to be “wasted” on pleasure:

“Any sperm not being used for the purpose of procreation must be immediately donated to a sperm bank,” Yorke warned. “Failure to do so will lead to hefty fines and ultimately, incarceration, under the new ‘Level Playing Field Bill’.”

In response, leading male medical academics have raised concerns that refraining from masturbation would be hazardous to men’s testicular health, increasing their chances of prostate cancer.

Dr. David Ambrose hit out at the bill, claiming it put American men in the very difficult position of having to father and immediately surrender a child, everytime they ejaculate. He claims this will have very negative effects on men’s long-term mental health.

http://www.burrardstreetjournal.com/...culation-bill/