Caregivers and Stress

[DressyFemme]

My partner is permanently disabled due to type 2 diabetes, a foot deformity and torn ligaments in her lower legs from a work accident. She uses a cane, walker or wheelchair depending on the length of excursion. She gets SSD and her disability retirement pension. It was a huge adjustment for us especially her as we were both active... dancing fishing coffee nights running a dinner group running a brunch etc. we cut back.

I HAVE to have me time. Even if it's going to the store to get groceries or pharmacy.... it helps me recharge. It's otherwise challenging. The hardest part was learning how to dress her wounds in her feet. I'm not a nurse but she ran out of nurse visits and Medicare won't pay for any more. I'm squeamish around blood. Her feet are more stable now but her treatment caused a foot deformity that makes it painful to walk.

I'm so glad to see this space is here. Anyone have any tips on devices that magnify syringe markings? Right now I draw her insulin everyday and I know it's important she can do it herself.

[girl_dee]

my mom is having a bad day. I try to put it out of my mind, but its hard.

Having distractions is good.

Honestly I cannot even believe she is still alive.

[MsTinkerbelly]

Originally Posted by DressyFemme

I'm so glad to see this space is here. Anyone have any tips on devices that
magnify syringe markings? Right now I draw her insulin everyday and I know it's important she can do it herself.

I'm not sure if it would work for you, but I put on very strong reading glasses ( like you get at the dollar store) or I use a magnifying glass to check how much I have pulled into the syringe.

[girl_dee]

Well my mom says she is feeling a little better.

Honestly I cringe waiting to get that reply in the mornings.

[Chad]

My mom's birthday is next week. I cannot wait to spoil her.
She is doing great with her new knee. I just need to tidy up her yard a bit. Also, I will clean her house while I am there.

[cricket26]

i picked up groceries for mom yesterday she seemed in good spirits

[girl_dee]

it seems like most of us are looking after our mothers. .........

Mine told me yesterday she was not well and could not get out of bed the entire day. Said she had fever and couldn't breathe well.. but not bad enough to go to the hospital. I was so worried i didn't sleep all night.

First thing this morning I texted her... there is always this sinking feeling waiting for her response. She did reply that she was feeling a little better. Great i thought. .. but again she says she is just not well.

Well a little while later she sent at text to me, that was obviously for one of her
posse buddies at the home..

"Yes, i texted you earlier,,, i am better, I'm going downstairs"....

I said well thats great mom! Have a nice time with your friends..

She says " I am still sick i just think the fresh air will help me"

She will NOT give me anything positive, ever. She wants me to think she is miserable and on death's door.

WHY????

[kittygrrl]

Originally Posted by girl_dee

it seems like most of us are looking after our mothers. .........

Mine told me yesterday she was not well and could not get out of bed the entire day. Said she had fever and couldn't breathe well.. but not bad enough to go to the hospital. I was so worried i didn't sleep all night.

First thing this morning I texted her... there is always this sinking feeling waiting for her response. She did reply that she was feeling a little better. Great i thought. .. but again she says she is just not well.

Well a little while later she sent at text to me, that was obviously for one of her
posse buddies at the home..

"Yes, i texted you earlier,,, i am better, I'm going downstairs"....

I said well thats great mom! Have a nice time with your friends..

She says " I am still sick i just think the fresh air will help me"

She will NOT give me anything positive, ever. She wants me to think she is miserable and on death's door.

WHY????

I went through the same thing with my mom. I don't believe even medication can help. As I've gotten older, I see why my mom felt the way she did. It's natural as you get older to see you are approaching the great unknown..some welcome it, others are frightened..In the end I think they greet it with a certain amount of relief and anticipation..From my own experience I would tell you to accept where your mom is. She does not feel well. There is a reason for it-it's called old age. Accept it and try to take it in stride and weird as it may feel to you, try very hard to appreciate and savor the good moments you have with your mom, yes even the bad moments! One day when she is gone you will be so happy you spent the time holding her hand and listening to her aches and pains. Give her some of your very positive energy..even if she doesn't believe in it. I wish the best for you and your mom<B