Lesbian Visibility--Your needs? Your thoughts? - Page 2

MsTinkerbelly · 11-08-2016, 12:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bubala

Just happen to stumble upon this TV bit again tonight.... Vice Essentials "The last lesbian bars" http://www.vice.com/read/the-last-le...rs-apvideo-178

One of the arguments explaining why this phenomenon of diminishing lesbian presence is happening is that social milieu plays the major part...

Quote: "Affluent middle class white lesbians are not spending their money going to bars..."

Wow....just wow....this hit me like a tone of bricks. Then I realized this actually really hits home for me, having never been a bar goer....

My next thought is what needs to be done to bridge the gap?

What is the alternative real-estate for lesbian visibility recitation if any, physical or virtual real estate?

The "scene" that my wife and I were into 12-14 years ago is MUCH different than our lives now. We both loved the lesbian bars, and the Long Beach area had several...Que Sera, Executive suites (not exclusively lesbian all nights), etc etc...but as we settled down to raise my daughter and live our boring average life, we stopped hitting the bars unless it was for a special occasion like a birthday.

Gay men ( of which I have a large group of friends) love to go out drinking, dancing, have stranger sex and party every weekend and several week nights. They keep the gay bars open and thriving, when I've had a drink and gone home for the month.

We turned to women's RV camping groups and lesbian golf clubs when we need "family time", but mostly it is Church and family and regular every day life for us.

deeds · 11-08-2016, 12:58 AM

And run as fast as my feet would let me....

~ocean · 11-08-2016, 01:06 AM

I will never see myself as invisable ~ if I do I'll put on red ~ "hello "red is my color

location, location , location ~ Living in Masschusetts ,( gaychusetts ) has always made being a gay woman easy, and the community visiable.

*Anya* · 11-13-2016, 09:36 AM

Her skits on SNL are the funniest I have seen in years. She is uber talented!

homoe · 11-13-2016, 10:38 AM

OMG I had NO IDEA she was

girl_dee · 02-21-2017, 05:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~ocean

I will never see myself as invisable ~ if I do I'll put on red ~ "hello "red is my color

location, location , location ~ Living in Masschusetts ,( gaychusetts ) has always made being a gay woman easy, and the community visiable.

Living in New Orleans it was the same. Out and proud. Now I am in a rural part of the country and have to watch myself.

Do not like but I am NOT going to hide either!

~ocean · 02-22-2017, 04:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by girl_dee

Living in New Orleans it was the same. Out and proud. Now I am in a rural part of the country and have to watch myself.

Do not like but I am NOT going to hide either!

Good 4 you , btw, hi gorgeous !!!!

girl_dee · 02-22-2017, 06:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~ocean

Good 4 you , btw, hi gorgeous !!!!

Hiya fabulous ocean........

Wh1ms1 · 02-23-2017, 10:28 PM

To Ms Tinkerbelly,
I am fortunate to have been in my area when a group of savvy women banded together to bring lesbian entertainment to our town. We were able to see Suzanne Westenhoeffer, The Topp Twins, Vickie Shaw, Zrazy (I think...don't quote me) and many more that I can't name right now. The women in my area were most fortunate, for over 20 years, I believe, we were able to be entertained by top lesbian talent...Holly Near is another one. They have, unfortunately retired now. But that was one way of being visible in the community. I don't know whether it was the economy or what, but attendance did seem to taper off towards the end. But if you know of any women in your area with an enterpreneurial bent, this might be something to look into.

Esme nha Maire · 08-05-2017, 06:38 PM

Surprisingly, given that the city I live in is Britain's second largest, IMO the lesbian scene here sucks, at least in terms of provision. There is one - count them - one - small lesbian-centric bar, and a couple of other places where lesbians are often to be found at times. But even in the lesbian-centric bar it seems entirely random as to whether you'll find wall-to-wall women (yaay!) or mostly gay guys and their often straight female friends.

I was lucky enough that my first two visits to the scene, lesbian women were out in strength, and I had great nights out. The last couple of times, though,were deeply frustrating. Here I am, libido ticking over nicely, and I'm in the lesbian-centric bar. Damn. Gay guys and their female straight-looking friends.. Check the pool room - two lasses that cant understand my English well. Check the yard - plenty of women there, but clearly already in their own social groups. Suddenly an influx of women into the bar - yaay! DAMN! It's a hen party - complete with inflatable male doll. Sigh... The other two venues - one was mostly full of gay guys and drag queens, the other had me scratching my head to label the clientele, but dykey it certainly was not.

Now, I don;t mind a smattering of hetty women mixing with us, I really don't, so long as they behave sensibly and politely (If you're female and enter a lesbian bar,you may get hit on by women. Decline politely!), but I'd really rather not have guys about at all. Is it too much to ask to have ONE evening per week at one venue that's women-only?

Grrrr.

As for personal visibility,I've never in adult life been too bothered about what others think of my sexuality, I had bigger problems to worry about.

stonebutchjack · 08-09-2017, 09:03 AM

There is nothing where I live specifically geared towards lesbians. I have a couple of gay bars, but nothing specific for lesbians. I wish there was like a butch group where I can met other butches and older butches. I just want a space where I could talk with other butches face to face about our experiences and bond and learn from the older butches who came before me. I feel like there is no space for me where I live even in the LGBT community it really feels like lesbian is considered a bad thing and that needs to stop.

I just need a space and there is none.

homoe · 08-09-2017, 09:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stonebutchjack

There is nothing where I live specifically geared towards lesbians. I have a couple of gay bars, but nothing specific for lesbians. I wish there was like a butch group where I can met other butches and older butches. I just want a space where I could talk with other butches face to face about our experiences and bond and learn from the older butches who came before me. I feel like there is no space for me where I live even in the LGBT community it really feels like lesbian is considered a bad thing and that needs to stop.

I just need a space and there is none.

I am very happy to hear you'd enjoying talking and learning from older butches! I fear some day that all the history of the LGBT will come by the wayside.....

Femmewench · 09-02-2017, 03:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stonebutchjack

There is nothing where I live specifically geared towards lesbians. I have a couple of gay bars, but nothing specific for lesbians. I wish there was like a butch group where I can met other butches and older butches. I just want a space where I could talk with other butches face to face about our experiences and bond and learn from the older butches who came before me. I feel like there is no space for me where I live even in the LGBT community it really feels like lesbian is considered a bad thing and that needs to stop.

I just need a space and there is none.

Create your own. Try Meet Up. You may find you're not alone. You can meet wherever your want; it doesn't have to be anyone's home at first.

11-08-2016, 12:58 AM	#22
deeds Senior Member How Do You Identify?: G-d made Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Ohio Posts: 2,588 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 711 Thanked 402 Times in 254 Posts Rep Power: 7194440	And run as fast as my feet would let me.... __________________

11-08-2016, 01:06 AM	#23
~ocean Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme blows a kiss off my finger tips * Preferred Pronoun?: ~ hey girl ~ Relationship Status: ~ single & content ~ Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Massachusetts ~coastal Posts: 7,905 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 22,958 Thanked 16,040 Times in 4,727 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	~ I will never see myself as invisable ~ if I do I'll put on red ~ "hello "red is my color location, location , location ~ Living in Masschusetts ,( gaychusetts ) has always made being a gay woman easy, and the community visiable. __________________ ~ Always, ocean

11-13-2016, 09:36 AM	#24
Anya Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Lesbian non-stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Committed to being good to myself Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: West Coast Posts: 8,258 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 39,306 Thanked 40,459 Times in 7,283 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Kate McKinnon talking about being a lesbian-I did not know she was! Her skits on SNL are the funniest I have seen in years. She is uber talented! __________________ ~Anya~ Democracy Dies in Darkness ~Washington Post "...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parents’ actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable." UN Human Rights commissioner

02-23-2017, 10:28 PM	#29
Wh1ms1 Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Submissive femme Preferred Pronoun?: she/her Relationship Status: single Join Date: Feb 2017 Location: Fort worth Posts: 49 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 77 Thanked 112 Times in 31 Posts Rep Power: 1978767	! To Ms Tinkerbelly, I am fortunate to have been in my area when a group of savvy women banded together to bring lesbian entertainment to our town. We were able to see Suzanne Westenhoeffer, The Topp Twins, Vickie Shaw, Zrazy (I think...don't quote me) and many more that I can't name right now. The women in my area were most fortunate, for over 20 years, I believe, we were able to be entertained by top lesbian talent...Holly Near is another one. They have, unfortunately retired now. But that was one way of being visible in the community. I don't know whether it was the economy or what, but attendance did seem to taper off towards the end. But if you know of any women in your area with an enterpreneurial bent, this might be something to look into.

08-09-2017, 09:03 AM	#31
stonebutchjack Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Stone Butch Lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: He/him Relationship Status: Her Butch Join Date: May 2017 Location: My heart is in Seattle Posts: 10 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8 Thanked 29 Times in 10 Posts Rep Power: 9	There is nothing where I live specifically geared towards lesbians. I have a couple of gay bars, but nothing specific for lesbians. I wish there was like a butch group where I can met other butches and older butches. I just want a space where I could talk with other butches face to face about our experiences and bond and learn from the older butches who came before me. I feel like there is no space for me where I live even in the LGBT community it really feels like lesbian is considered a bad thing and that needs to stop. I just need a space and there is none. __________________ "So fuck you and thanks for asking" Jack, Mass Effect 2

11-13-2016, 10:38 AM	#25
homoe Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: ..... Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: 30 minute ferry ride from Seattle Posts: 38,565 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 20,811 Thanked 33,558 Times in 14,919 Posts Rep Power: 21474890	OMG I had NO IDEA she was

08-05-2017, 06:38 PM	#30
Esme nha Maire Member How Do You Identify?: Tomboyish eccentric antique femme Preferred Pronoun?: She/her Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jul 2017 Location: UK Posts: 642 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,196 Thanked 2,078 Times in 541 Posts Rep Power: 19310770	Surprisingly, given that the city I live in is Britain's second largest, IMO the lesbian scene here sucks, at least in terms of provision. There is one - count them - one - small lesbian-centric bar, and a couple of other places where lesbians are often to be found at times. But even in the lesbian-centric bar it seems entirely random as to whether you'll find wall-to-wall women (yaay!) or mostly gay guys and their often straight female friends. I was lucky enough that my first two visits to the scene, lesbian women were out in strength, and I had great nights out. The last couple of times, though,were deeply frustrating. Here I am, libido ticking over nicely, and I'm in the lesbian-centric bar. Damn. Gay guys and their female straight-looking friends.. Check the pool room - two lasses that cant understand my English well. Check the yard - plenty of women there, but clearly already in their own social groups. Suddenly an influx of women into the bar - yaay! DAMN! It's a hen party - complete with inflatable male doll. Sigh... The other two venues - one was mostly full of gay guys and drag queens, the other had me scratching my head to label the clientele, but dykey it certainly was not. Now, I don;t mind a smattering of hetty women mixing with us, I really don't, so long as they behave sensibly and politely (If you're female and enter a lesbian bar,you may get hit on by women. Decline politely!), but I'd really rather not have guys about at all. Is it too much to ask to have ONE evening per week at one venue that's women-only? Grrrr. As for personal visibility,I've never in adult life been too bothered about what others think of my sexuality, I had bigger problems to worry about.