Ask a trans person!

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by Hominid

Ditto what Dapper said. My guess is it is full of judgments about what a "proper" penis is, and likely took on the opinions of this one transman in regard to his choices. If anyone's spent any time in active online forums for FtM's and surgery (both top and bottom), they are replete with versions of "my (existing or planned) cock/chest is better than yours". Heck, I even wonder if this guy is someone in particular who proclaimed in many places that he (unlike others) had spent many years in search of the best option and he alone had the answer because of his extensive research.

Perhaps not entirely fair since I haven't seen it, neither do I plan to. The synopsis is plenty for me, thank you!

Yes, I was assuming that this was all about Showtime sensationalizing it all, but perhaps the man himself added to that. As I was researching the movie, I came upon an article(?), about his level of misogyny/sexism as a person. So, that is interesting...maybe he assisted in Showtime going down that path. I appreciate you adding your perspective!

[curlyredhead]

Originally Posted by Satiated

I've debated for the last hour, whether I wanted to post my ramblings here or not. I tend to be a private sorta lady, but my need to understand has overwhelmed me so, here I be.

1. This isn't a medical question, more an emotional one directed at the Males partaking in this thread.

2. Where as my ex partner isn't here to add his two cents, I have nothing ill to say. He was a dynamite butch befor his transition, and now is just an incredible guy after.

For the most part, I have tossed around the idea of dropping the status label of lesbian these days, and just referring to myself as femme. Why you wonder, I'm blubbering about this here? Because randomly 5 years ago, my long term butch girlfriend stated she wanted to become a man and transition. I was shocked, angry, sad and various other things. Bottom line, I supported her right up till he was born.

Surgeries, hormones, and varies other things rocked us apart, but I remained diligent. I loved this persons soul. At this stage, I considered us a hetro couple. Something, I'd never thought I'd say, do or be. But, I did.

Things smoothed after the initial year, and then the confession came. " I can't date a lesbian, you like women. " I said yes, that's a fact, but I also love you, and you are male.

To no avail he dumped me, to date straight women.

Yet, here I see many Ftm's surrounding themselves with all sorts of labels.

So, all this rambling aside...

Have any of you males that transitioned ever felt your current (or at the time partner) looked at you as being anything but whom you are now?

My previous partner and I had this issue. However, the biggest difference between our situation and yours was I had already transitioned to male when we had met. But whenever we had fights or disagreements about things, we would end up having a discussion about how she identifies and about how I identify. That discussion was about her identifying as a Lesbian. This wasn't the first time it had happened to me, I would explain to her if you want to be with a woman, I am not the person for you because I can't give you that. She understood but it was still an issue. Long story short we are no longer together, that reason doesn't have to do with her identifying as a lesbian though.

[JDeere]

Have any of you gentleman dated a bisexual woman? One that sleeps with both men and women but is monogamous when in a relationship? If so, how did it go?

By men I mean CIS gendered males.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by JDeere

Have any of you gentleman dated a bisexual woman? One that sleeps with both men and women but is monogamous when in a relationship? If so, how did it go?

By men I mean CIS gendered males.

No. I have dated women who have been with cis males in the past, but no women that have identified as bisexual.

I have not dated since I started transitioning. My preference would still be to date a femme. At this point, a femme who is attracted to trans men.

[Liam]

Originally Posted by JDeere

Have any of you gentleman dated a bisexual woman? One that sleeps with both men and women but is monogamous when in a relationship? If so, how did it go?

By men I mean CIS gendered males.

Yes. Yes. From great dates to three year long relationships, I have dated several bisexual women. They went well in several different areas, I have no regrets.

[JDeere]

Thank you Dapper and Liam for your feedback!

Me and my Lady haven't had much issues with her sexuality but I think she gets a tad confused about me being trans and what it all entails, trying to educate someone who loves you is kinda hard, IMO.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by JDeere

Thank you Dapper and Liam for your feedback!

Me and my Lady haven't had much issues with her sexuality but I think she gets a tad confused about me being trans and what it all entails, trying to educate someone who loves you is kinda hard, IMO.

Would she be willing to read something on it?

This book gives a pretty good overview and is pretty cheap on Amazon:
https://play.google.com/store/books/...AE3g&gclsrc=ds

The other thing to get across to her is that gender is fluid for a lot of trans people. Not everyone is binary, male or female. So, you have to learn about your specific trans partner, trans friend, etc.

Has she always only dated cis females? How does she identify?

[JDeere]

Originally Posted by DapperButch

Would she be willing to read something on it?

This book gives a pretty good overview and is pretty cheap on Amazon:
https://play.google.com/store/books/...AE3g&gclsrc=ds

The other thing to get across to her is that gender is fluid for a lot of trans people. Not everyone is binary, male or female. So, you have to learn about your specific trans partner, trans friend, etc.

Has she always only dated cis females? How does she identify?

She might be willing to read and she has only dated CIS males and CIS females and she ID's as bisexual. I am the first trans person she has ever come across or dated.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by JDeere

She might be willing to read and she has only dated CIS males and CIS females and she ID's as bisexual. I am the first trans person she has ever come across or dated.

I think her being attracted to both genders would be a good thing in your case (you describe yourself as transmasculine human) Anyway, it makes sense to me that perhaps she could be completely fulfilled sexually/emotionally , but only she knows that. I mean she is with you, right? So, she must be attracted to you!

Unless she tells you she needs to be able to relate to both sexes intimately in order to be fulfilled, I don't see why you would concern yourself with her being able to be monogamous.

[JDeere]

Originally Posted by DapperButch

I think her being attracted to both genders would be a good thing in your case (you describe yourself as transmasculine human) Anyway, it makes sense to me that perhaps she could be completely fulfilled sexually/emotionally , but only she knows that. I mean she is with you, right? So, she must be attracted to you!

Unless she tells you she needs to be able to relate to both sexes intimately in order to be fulfilled, I don't see why you would concern yourself with her being able to be monogamous.

Yes good point on the being attracted to me part and the other stuff she knows as well.

She knows I won't be with any men sexually, etc. But she has been saying things about her wanting me to participate in certain sexual deals that include other women and cis males, which I do not like one bit and have told her this.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by JDeere

She knows I won't be with any men sexually, etc. But she has been saying things about her wanting me to participate in certain sexual deals that include other women and cis males, which I do not like one bit and have told her this.

Ok, well, that my friend is something completely different. Her desire to include others has nothing to do with being bisexual. It is just a person desiring to bring others into the bedroom. You need to find out what that is about for her.

The best advice I can give you is to never compromise yourself. If having sex with other people or agreeing to your partner having sex with other people, is not a fit for you, this may not be the relationship for you. Agreeing to something that isn't a fit for you could only be damaging to you and to the relationship.

I would suggest that you start a new thread in the SEX BDSM KINK forum here.

I think that is the best place to get other's views, thoughts, advice, and experience on bringing people into the bedroom.

Good luck.

[JDeere]

Well she ID's as bisexual so that is why I was asking the guys but I went off in a rant, sorry. But yeah I might have to go to those threads but I am not one to share or bring others into the bedroom to just "spice things up" and she has mainly said these things when we are both drunk out of our brains, so I truly don't know how to take it.

Thanks for the input y'all.

[cathexis]

/bump

Started T 125mg IM every other week for gender dysphoria. When have folks on this thread started to notice results?

Know it's a small dose, but the doc who has a clinical interest in treating trans folk doesn't seem willing to increase the T. When I asked her, she claimed to be uncomfortable increasing the dose due to the fact that I smoke cigarettes. Does this sound like an excuse to anyone?

Any advice would be helpful expect changing docs. She the only one in a 50 mile radius whose clinical interest is in transgender services.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by cathexis

/bump

Started T 125mg IM every other week for gender dysphoria. When have folks on this thread started to notice results?

Know it's a small dose, but the doc who has a clinical interest in treating trans folk doesn't seem willing to increase the T. When I asked her, she claimed to be uncomfortable increasing the dose due to the fact that I smoke cigarettes. Does this sound like an excuse to anyone?

Any advice would be helpful expect changing docs. She the only one in a 50 mile radius whose clinical interest is in transgender services.

Change would be very slow at .125mg. It is never a recommended starting dose. Ask her where she is getting that dose from? Assuming she is an Endocrinologist, suggest she follow the guidelines set by the Endocrine Society. Assuming she isn't an endocrinologist, tell her she should follow the Endocrine Guidelines, anyway.

But, yes, you are not supposed to be on testosterone if you smoke. But, then again, we don't give natal males testosterone blockers because they smoke, do we? I suspect you doctor is just uncomfortable prescribing hormones.

For whatever reason, she is agreeable to it. If she is going to prescribe the treatment, she needs to get some training on the proper care of the transgender patient. Personally, I would print out the Endocrine guidelines and bring them to her. 'Course that may piss her off, lol.

https://academic.oup.com/jcem/articl...0/jc.2009-0345


http://www.bumc.bu.edu/endo/clinics/...ne/guidelines/

[Liam]

Originally Posted by cathexis

/bump

Started T 125mg IM every other week for gender dysphoria. When have folks on this thread started to notice results?

Know it's a small dose, but the doc who has a clinical interest in treating trans folk doesn't seem willing to increase the T. When I asked her, she claimed to be uncomfortable increasing the dose due to the fact that I smoke cigarettes. Does this sound like an excuse to anyone?

Any advice would be helpful expect changing docs. She the only one in a 50 mile radius whose clinical interest is in transgender services.

Sounds like you have a good doctor to me.

I take 40mg once a week. Not everyone is the same. Not everyone achieves the same results, in the same amount of time.

I believe your doctor is following the correct protocol.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by Liam

Sounds like you have a good doctor to me.

I take 40mg once a week. Not everyone is the same. Not everyone achieves the same results, in the same amount of time.

I believe your doctor is following the correct protocol.

Liam, he forgot to put the . in front of the .125ml

.5ml is the most common dose. Most often people are even started at that dose.

.25 (50mg) is seen as a half dose within the trans medical community. There are people within that range, I hear you saying that you take 40mg, which is a tiny bit less.

But, .125ml? No, that is not a starting dose according to Endocrine guidelines. There is no way he is up to even low male T levels on that dose.

This doctor needs to at least be up front with him and tell him why she wants him on a dose that is not indicated for cross sex hormone treatment for the female to male transition. He needs to know if she even knows the guidelines.

cathexis, do you still have your ovaries?

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by DapperButch

Liam, he forgot to put the . in front of the .125ml

.5ml is the most common dose. Most often people are even started at that dose.

.25 (50mg) is seen as a half dose within the trans medical community. There are people within that range, I hear you saying that you take 40mg, which is a tiny bit less.

But, .125ml? No, that is not a starting dose according to Endocrine guidelines. There is no way he is up to even low male T levels on that dose.

This doctor needs to at least be up front with him and tell him why she wants him on a dose that is not indicated for cross sex hormone treatment for the female to male transition. He needs to know if she even knows the guidelines.

cathexis, do you still have your ovaries?

Additional note to Liam: I do know that people are on different doses and it is a person's T levels that matter (I assume your 40mg keeps you in average male ranges), but .125ml is not protocol for dosing. That is all I was saying.

[cathexis]

Originally Posted by cathexis

/bump

Started T 125mg IM every other week for gender dysphoria. When have folks on this thread started to notice results?

Know it's a small dose, but the doc who has a clinical interest in treating trans folk doesn't seem willing to increase the T. When I asked her, she claimed to be uncomfortable increasing the dose due to the fact that I smoke cigarettes. Does this sound like an excuse to anyone?

Any advice would be helpful expect changing docs. She the only one in a 50 mile radius whose clinical interest is in transgender services.

Yes, I'm sorry guys. Made a error in writing the dose down. The dose the doc ordered is 25 mg (or 0.125 ml) IM every 2 weeks. I think it's a low dose and confused why. Asked her if she would increase it, but would not for the reasons above.

Had told her that I was genderqueer, and that a higher level of T improved me body and mind. She diagnosed me with "gender dysphoria," and ordered T at this dose. I am concerned and confused. Anyone with any ideas why?

[kittygrrl]

Originally Posted by cathexis

Yes, I'm sorry guys. Made a error in writing the dose down. The dose the doc ordered is 25 mg (or 0.125 ml) IM every 2 weeks. I think it's a low dose and confused why. Asked her if she would increase it, but would not for the reasons above.

Had told her that I was genderqueer, and that a higher level of T improved me body and mind. She diagnosed me with "gender dysphoria," and ordered T at this dose. I am concerned and confused. Anyone with any ideas why?

Just wondering why you are not on a patch?? I hear that is the usual modem of delivery..I am not current on this subject but would like to understand too.

[Liam]

All I know, is that my doctor was relieved that I was not a smoker, and would have been hesitant to even prescribe testosterone for me, if I were.