Unconditional Love... is it really unconditional?

girl_dee · 04-23-2017, 11:47 AM

oh i love this.

i think on a romantic level yes its conditional. If someone is abusive to me, i cannot love them, for example.

Kätzchen · 04-23-2017, 12:22 PM

Sexual and emotional abuse are an unfortunate part of experiences I've dealt with in my life. And, in many ways, as I have learned, via personal therapy or counseling or by active involvement in support groups for DV or Alcohol driven issues (I attend Al-anon), that I have an acute awareness concerning issues which are often connected with issues of abuse.

I stand by prior posts I have made in the past concerning ideas about if love is conditional or unconditional. For me, love --- whether it's platonic by nature or by romantic design, is *not* unconditional. Love is operant on conditions, conditions which must be present in order for an healthy type love to thrive or survive. If optimal conditions for love to exist are not present (or met), then in my case, love can't bloom.

BullDog · 04-23-2017, 02:41 PM

Yes, obviously unconditional love means different things to different people. I think you can love someone for who they are and what you have shared together and not for the things they do or do for you or how they feel about you. I love 3 of my exes unconditionally. I don't expect anything from them and don't expect them to love me unconditionally. My love just reached a very deep level with them and even though we didn't work out as a couple I still have a special place in my heart for them that will never change no matter how they feel about me and how much I might disagree with some of their opinions about me, lol. I also would do whatever I could for them if there is anything I could do to help. I have also never been severely abused or mistreated by any of them, so that has not been put to the test.

I feel my girlfriend and I love each other unconditionally. That we love each other for who we are, including our flaws, and what we share and that we will always love each other and be there for each other even if we were not to work out as a couple. I feel her unconditional love very strongly, stronger than I have with any other person. We are still a new couple and only time will tell, but I do believe we have unconditional love - by my personal definition of what that means.

Shystonefem · 04-23-2017, 06:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BullDog

I feel my girlfriend and I love each other unconditionally. That we love each other for who we are, including our flaws, and what we share and that we will always love each other and be there for each other even if we were not to work out as a couple. I feel her unconditional love very strongly, stronger than I have with any other person. We are still a new couple and only time will tell, but I do believe we have unconditional love - by my personal definition of what that means.

I agree 100%

Soft*Silver · 04-23-2017, 07:51 PM

ahhh....the love I have for my grandchildren is unconditional. As is the love for my daughter. Those are givens.

as for romantic relationships, I think over the years I have learned there is one condition that needs to be established for the relationship to work. No abuse. Everything else is negotiable. And re-negotiable.

Also in the past few decades, I have loved 2 people that just chewed hard on that love like it was a poor cut of meat. I loved them anyway. I walked away only because my sanity was at risk. They werent abusive but loving them hurt me. I have now made that a condition...that if in loving someone hurts me, I need to leave. I need to love myself at all times, even at the cost of not loving someone else...

loving me, I have decided over the years, is unconditional

04-23-2017, 12:22 PM	#2
Kätzchen Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Join Date: May 2010 Location: @ home with my granddaughter, chosen friends & family. ツ Posts: 16,126 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,605 Thanked 33,551 Times in 10,667 Posts Rep Power: 21474868	Sexual and emotional abuse are an unfortunate part of experiences I've dealt with in my life. And, in many ways, as I have learned, via personal therapy or counseling or by active involvement in support groups for DV or Alcohol driven issues (I attend Al-anon), that I have an acute awareness concerning issues which are often connected with issues of abuse. I stand by prior posts I have made in the past concerning ideas about if love is conditional or unconditional. For me, love --- whether it's platonic by nature or by romantic design, is not unconditional. Love is operant on conditions, conditions which must be present in order for an healthy type love to thrive or survive. If optimal conditions for love to exist are not present (or met), then in my case, love can't bloom. __________________ “Move in silence: Only speak when it’s time to say checkmate,” ~ Lorenzo Senni.

04-23-2017, 02:41 PM	#3
BullDog Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Dominant Stone Butch Daddy Preferred Pronoun?: She Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In A Healing Place Posts: 5,371 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 18,160 Thanked 22,640 Times in 4,463 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Yes, obviously unconditional love means different things to different people. I think you can love someone for who they are and what you have shared together and not for the things they do or do for you or how they feel about you. I love 3 of my exes unconditionally. I don't expect anything from them and don't expect them to love me unconditionally. My love just reached a very deep level with them and even though we didn't work out as a couple I still have a special place in my heart for them that will never change no matter how they feel about me and how much I might disagree with some of their opinions about me, lol. I also would do whatever I could for them if there is anything I could do to help. I have also never been severely abused or mistreated by any of them, so that has not been put to the test. I feel my girlfriend and I love each other unconditionally. That we love each other for who we are, including our flaws, and what we share and that we will always love each other and be there for each other even if we were not to work out as a couple. I feel her unconditional love very strongly, stronger than I have with any other person. We are still a new couple and only time will tell, but I do believe we have unconditional love - by my personal definition of what that means. __________________ Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other. - Rainer Maria Rilke

04-23-2017, 07:51 PM	#5
SoftSilver Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: rose cottage Posts: 5,592 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,948 Thanked 15,903 Times in 4,062 Posts Rep Power*: 21474857	ahhh....the love I have for my grandchildren is unconditional. As is the love for my daughter. Those are givens. as for romantic relationships, I think over the years I have learned there is one condition that needs to be established for the relationship to work. No abuse. Everything else is negotiable. And re-negotiable. Also in the past few decades, I have loved 2 people that just chewed hard on that love like it was a poor cut of meat. I loved them anyway. I walked away only because my sanity was at risk. They werent abusive but loving them hurt me. I have now made that a condition...that if in loving someone hurts me, I need to leave. I need to love myself at all times, even at the cost of not loving someone else... loving me, I have decided over the years, is unconditional __________________ Pole bachit, a lis chuye. The field sees, the forest hears

04-23-2017, 11:47 AM	#1
girl_dee Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: dee Relationship Status: Hitched up Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Livin’ the Dream Posts: 24,079 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30,560 Thanked 54,830 Times in 13,908 Posts Rep Power: 21474873	oh i love this. i think on a romantic level yes its conditional. If someone is abusive to me, i cannot love them, for example.