So you want to start a poly relationship..

femmebaker · 05-25-2010, 02:23 PM

Hi Tony,

I hear you! The pool seems so small to begin with.

I actually have the other problem. I have a primary relationship and am really struggling to find people to date and/or play with. Where are all the poly butches and trans guys?

-Femmebaker (who's so vexed with the situation that she's going to leave that poor preposition dangling)

TenderKnight · 05-25-2010, 04:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by femmebaker

Hi Tony,

I hear you! The pool seems so small to begin with.

I actually have the other problem. I have a primary relationship and am really struggling to find people to date and/or play with. Where are all the poly butches and trans guys?

-Femmebaker (who's so vexed with the situation that she's going to leave that poor preposition dangling)

heh, on the West Coast, of course! But really, I feel you on that one.. I hope that you find some local meat soon (lol.. not trying to be rude, just comes out that way sometimes..lol). I have actually found Craigslist to be helpful.. just weed out the weirdos and flakes

-Tony, who would offer his humble services, but can't afford plane fare

michaelluster76 · 02-26-2014, 06:43 PM

I am a poly butch in my area, I am having a hard time finding personal relationships, since I am poly also, its harder I think to find people here in phoenix.

Charmingbutch21 · 07-24-2014, 08:29 AM

Not sure if this is the right thread to post in but anyway...

How do you (folks) in poly relationships deal with the NRE (new relationship energy) of a person you are dating who is dating someone new, and who also happens to have a primary relationship?

Personally, I've moved through the jealousy part and understand that I have qualities that this lady loves. Her S.O. and new person of interest have qualities she loves too. No biggie. I'm new to this (6 or so months), so I want to make sure she knows I still care, but I don't want to overwhelm her with communication while she is in NRE with someone else. So, I text here and there to reassure her I'm still around and she texts and calls too. Things seem to be good, but I don't want to over communicate nor under communicate. If that makes sense.

What says you?

WingsOnFire · 07-24-2014, 10:18 AM

stopping by to comment so I can find it again later... I will come back and respond to your question hopefully tonight charmingbutch21

Charmingbutch21 · 07-30-2014, 06:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WingsOnFire

stopping by to comment so I can find it again later... I will come back and respond to your question hopefully tonight charmingbutch21

Would love to hear your advice Wings, when you get a chance

WingsOnFire · 07-30-2014, 09:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Charmingbutch21

Would love to hear your advice Wings, when you get a chance

yes I thought of this driving home yesterday lol and with the heat promptly forgot. Will try again later

Loren_Q · 07-30-2014, 04:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Charmingbutch21

Not sure if this is the right thread to post in but anyway...

How do you (folks) in poly relationships deal with the NRE (new relationship energy) of a person you are dating who is dating someone new, and who also happens to have a primary relationship?

Personally, I've moved through the jealousy part and understand that I have qualities that this lady loves. Her S.O. and new person of interest have qualities she loves too. No biggie. I'm new to this (6 or so months), so I want to make sure she knows I still care, but I don't want to overwhelm her with communication while she is in NRE with someone else. So, I text here and there to reassure her I'm still around and she texts and calls too. Things seem to be good, but I don't want to over communicate nor under communicate. If that makes sense.

What says you?

I've not been in that particular configuration, I'm the one with the primary partner.

However one thing I do with my poly partners is make sure there's at least 1 time a week we speak, usually just a half hour or so (my commute time) but it's pretty sacrosanct. This means even when/if I'm in NRE my other non-primaries know I'm still there. It helps them hold space for me and vice-versa if they fall for someone.

Having that set date/time really helps I've found.

07-24-2014, 08:29 AM	#4
Charmingbutch21 Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: It's not a big deal for me, call it as you see it Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Jun 2014 Location: Alabama Posts: 202 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 211 Thanked 397 Times in 99 Posts Rep Power: 8328035	Dealing with NRE Not sure if this is the right thread to post in but anyway... How do you (folks) in poly relationships deal with the NRE (new relationship energy) of a person you are dating who is dating someone new, and who also happens to have a primary relationship? Personally, I've moved through the jealousy part and understand that I have qualities that this lady loves. Her S.O. and new person of interest have qualities she loves too. No biggie. I'm new to this (6 or so months), so I want to make sure she knows I still care, but I don't want to overwhelm her with communication while she is in NRE with someone else. So, I text here and there to reassure her I'm still around and she texts and calls too. Things seem to be good, but I don't want to over communicate nor under communicate. If that makes sense. What says you? __________________ -cb

07-24-2014, 10:18 AM	#5
WingsOnFire Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Queer..femme.. .babygirl...girl Preferred Pronoun?: Female Ones... Relationship Status: Enjoying life but ready to meet someone Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Portland Oregon Posts: 3,945 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 12,015 Thanked 12,476 Times in 3,357 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	stopping by to comment so I can find it again later... I will come back and respond to your question hopefully tonight charmingbutch21 __________________ Previously known as MidnightBlueEyes ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ http://gailsforum.files.wordpress.co...-psd340941.png

05-25-2010, 02:23 PM	#1
femmebaker Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Domestic Goddess Femme Relationship Status: Happily married, exploring poly Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: NY Posts: 23 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3 Thanked 21 Times in 9 Posts Rep Power: 143	Hi Tony, I hear you! The pool seems so small to begin with. I actually have the other problem. I have a primary relationship and am really struggling to find people to date and/or play with. Where are all the poly butches and trans guys? -Femmebaker (who's so vexed with the situation that she's going to leave that poor preposition dangling)

02-26-2014, 06:43 PM	#3
michaelluster76 Junior Member How Do You Identify?: butch Join Date: Feb 2014 Location: mesa, az Posts: 2 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Rep Power: 0	I am a poly butch in my area, I am having a hard time finding personal relationships, since I am poly also, its harder I think to find people here in phoenix.