Femme Invisibility?

[candy_coated_bitch]

Originally Posted by Nat

Retailers using the word "femme" on clothing not meant for femmes

So obnoxious to me. I read fashion magazines and they are calling "girly" style "femme". Like sporty, boho, etc. I've found it an ignorant use of the word femme.

[girl_dee]

Please take one if you should run across a 2 x 4 butch .....

[*Anya*]

Originally Posted by YBFemme

Be yourself. Butch women will know. Trust me. And those who do not, meh.

Originally Posted by homoe

I apologize beforehand if butches aren't allowed to post in the femme zone, but I take umbrage at the "And those who do not, meh"!

There have been a few times I did not know, and I would hate to think someone would blow me off or deem me unworthy simply based on that.

Of course you can post here homoe! I believe that we are allowed to post in any thread as long as it is respectful.

I do recall some issues in the femme lingerie thread, however.. but that is something else.

There has never been any way that a butch has known that I was a lesbian femme by looking at me.

When I was younger, I simply looked like a girl.

Now that I am older, I look like a woman.

I don't always know if a butch is a lesbian either. There are the outdoorsy, flannel shirt (using a stereotype here for illustrative purposes only!!) straight women out and about everywhere.

The only way to truly know each other is the look. That moment when your eyes catch each other, a smile is given and the gaze is held just a smidgen longer than one would do with a straight woman.

Then, you have to dive in (so to speak) and go talk to the butch to find out for sure.

Same with those of us that ID as Femmes.

When all else fails, there is a 2 x 4 but I prefer the subtle approach.

[IrishAmazon]

Yes, it's my perception/experience, and knowing that there is a different struggle on the other side of the cloth. But here is my experience.

I tend to look like the woman next door, on blend in. It's just who I am, maybe its because I was the tall girl all those years in school, and the fat girl, I taught myself to hide in plain sight. Unfortunately when in used to try to go to gay of lesbian bars and clubs in My late teens and twenties I was so effective at what had become natural I would get asked to leave. Or reminded when I walked in that my kind did not belong, quite verbal and aggressive

I have worn jewelry when I couldn't find something tasteful I made it. I am not the kind of girl who wears T shirts especially with logos or sticker type stuff on it, they don't usually fit anyhow, I am still full sized and chesty.


Typically outing of myself in work places or the like is when I am asked about my husband or if I am married, my common answer thankfully is no longer valid. Women would look at me so puzzled when I'd say something like no it isn't leagle for me yet. And keep talking about whatever the other topic was and then you'd see some pieces start to fit. At some point they comesback around to i never would have thought you were gay. At one point I was managing a restaurant and my love at the time brought our son in, and when one of the girls on staff put it together she got all excited about how kinky I must be under my disgise.

I have never been shy or ashamed about who I love or how, I like shocking people and reminding them that no you can't always tell, I don't like when men mostly former bosses decides that I just needed a real man or vitamin D so they feel entitled to group touch or feel. I have learned to avoid or duck not to get into that type of situation or they are that insistent I remind them why they want to leave me the fuck alone.

Sorry my brain wandered....

It would be nice to be recognized counterparts or cohorts, it's makes the world not so big when it does happen, but it only seems to happen when I am holding someone's hand.

[Femmewench]

Originally Posted by girl_dee

Please take one if you should run across a 2 x 4 butch .....

Extras are always appreciated.

[homoe]

Originally Posted by Femmewench

Extras are always appreciated.

YIKES, one of those upside the head could hurt a butch...........

[Femmewench]

Originally Posted by homoe

YIKES, one of those upside the head could hurt a butch...........

And get your attention. I'll kiss the boo boo.

[girl_dee]

Looking forward to some community time and being a visible femme !!